Anonymous said...
I feel that any woman will grow tired of a female led relationship over time. Every time I read an article about why woman would love a chastised husband, I feel that the positives are about the endless orgasms and obedient, chore doing husband. Are their any that woman can say they desire a chastised first mate?
Robert, are you ever worried that the fantasy will ever come to an abrupt, yet understandable, ending? Have you ever thought about how that could effect your marriage? I apologize for my "curiosity," but you appear to have a REAL relationship going on making your experience and words incredibly valuable to all of your readers.
Thanks,
Internet
Well, firstly, you are correct about this being REAL, everything written on this blog is true and as accurate as possible. Now to your questions, I for one agree with you in some respects, I do think that a woman in a proper FLR would become bored of it eventually. Mistress R and I are not in what I would term an FLR though, outside of the bedroom we are equals, we have an hour a month when she is my 'Femdom Mistress' and if she fancies expanding on that at any time she can. Aside from that all that has happened really is that I have surrendered control of my cock and orgasms to her. She decides what goes on in that department, so she decides if we have penetrative sex, she decides if I get to cum, even whether I get touched at all.
If you have read my blog from the start (which I'm guessing you haven't) you will know that when I first suggested her controlling my orgasms I never suggested anything more than that, it was Mistress R who laid down the rules about not touching my cock, about not asking for penetration, and not being allowed to beg to be allowed to cum. She can change those rules if she wants to, but she seems to like things that way, knowing that these rules make me hornier for her.
I've never gone into this too much on this blog before, but I did have a couple of periods of erectile dysfunction some time ago. Sex was fairly traumatic for me because it became stressful, worrying if it was going to work, and if it did then it was a case of not enjoying it, rather concentrating and trying to stay hard. Fortunately for me Mistress R can't cum through penetration so that wasn't an issue (that would have been even worse frankly!) and we kind of fell into a pattern of me always making her cum with my tongue first, because that way if my cock was feeling truculent then at least it wouldn't spoil it for her, and actually making her cum was always more important to me anyway (it always has been if I'm honest). If I couldn't get hard it upset me more that the stress of it all meant that she probably wouldn't want me to go down on her after, which didn't help really since it just put more pressure on me to perform.
On reflection I think perhaps Mistress R was more upset over the fact that I wasn't aroused by her, or that there was something fundamentally wrong with our relationship rather than she was missing out on penetration. Which is understandable, even though I tried my best to reassure her that she still did it for me.
This all began about four years ago really, after I had an emergency operation on my back which left me with some nerve damage, this meant that sometimes I have limited feeling in my right leg and groin. It also seems that I am much more susceptible to cramp when I kneel down now, when my legs are at a certain angle. This is no problem when I am kneeling for Mistress R in a Femdom session, but for instance, when I am top it sometimes strikes at the worst possible time, I can tell you if you've never had cramp when you are coming, that's a really ruined orgasm!
Needless to say, having limited feeling in your groin on certain days, does inevitably lead to erectile problems, and slowly Mistress R and I both learned to accept that I was lucky to be able to walk and that we should enjoy my cock when it worked and if it didn't we should focus on her pleasure.
After trying a cock ring, things improved quite a lot and until I surrendered control full time in April we would use cock rings a lot, since they practically guaranteed a result every time. This continued once Mistress R began deciding when penetration would take place, and when she wants me on top (which is a very rare occurrence these days, I don't think I've been on top more than 3 times in the last 9 months) she will tell me to put my cockring or cocksling on.
For my part I love being on my back, I don't really miss being on top. Mistress R looks so gorgeous straddling me and I can reach up and play with her beautiful breasts as she rides me... and of course, despite the occasional upwards thrust, in this position Mistress R maintains total control over my pleasure. I also find that I can stave off orgasm quite easily when I am laying down, but when I am on top it's a LOT, LOT harder. But then that's kind of fun too... I'm sure it must amuse Mistress R a little to watch me straining to hold back even though I'm fucking her as gently as possible.
So this was a long answer, but there is a point to it...
Nowadays I have no erectile dysfunction. And (touch wood) Mistress R doesn't even bother with the cockring if she wants to ride my cock, since she knows I will stay hard. If she wanted me on top we would still use it because it helps me to stay hard if I'm suffering a little cramp or something...
I know it must sound a little stupid reading this, that it's kind of obvious that my operation fucked things up, but it wasn't so obvious to us at the time. When I say there's a lack of feeling in my groin, it's not like I'm numb, just that it doesn't feel right, it's kind of woolly. Imagine like if your wife was jerking your cock, but then she relaxed her grip by 80%.... the thing is it then becomes a mental struggle, and any guy will tell you that as soon as you allow doubt into your mind, you're fighting a losing battle.
Anyway, this reply is becoming way longer than I anticipated but still, I shall finish this if it kills me.
So, before I asked Mistress R to take control of my cock etc, etc... basically we were doing okay. We were using the cock ring as a matter of course, and 99% of the time that worked just fine. Sometimes I would think I didn't need it, but it had become a crutch, so I would use it anyway, because not using it just added that doubt, and if it comes to it, if it's a choice between using a cockring and spending the whole experience worrying that you might not be able to stay hard... it's a no brainer.
Plus, I loved how hard, veiny and brutal my cock looked with the cock ring on, and still do!
So... the point I'm trying to make here, in an extremely roundabout way, is that, with this back story in mind, it's not hard to understand why Mistress R is so happy now. Every time she touches my cock it responds much better than it ever did, and every little teasing stroke drives me completely nuts, which in turn makes her feel like the sex goddess she is!
Also, she has become much more relaxed and forthright about taking her own pleasure since she now, finally, truly believes me when I tell her how much I love going down on her and how much pleasure making her cum brings me. I love this twofold, not only do I love that I get to go down on her more, but I also love knowing that she wants it and I would say that since she took control of my orgasms she is probably having me go down on her 33% more often, which is fantastic as far as I'm concerned!
Fortunately, I have never sought this level of control and submission. All I wanted was for Mistress R to have control in the bedroom, and this has worked out brilliantly for both of us and made us even closer than we were before and I think it's safe to say, even more in love than we were before.
One more thing (honest!) that I think is important to state, and that is that Mistress R knows that she is more important to me than anything. All along I have said to her that if she wanted to stop this at any time she can, I honestly believe if you want to live like this then that is a very important thing for your wife/gf to know. The fact that she knew she could call a halt whenever she wanted meant that it was easier for her to relax about it and not feel pressured into it and I'm sure that really helped. After all it wasn't long at all from me asking her to have control, to her rejecting the idea, to her agreeing to try, to her adding her own rules... only a couple of weeks IIRC. And then of course that first month she let me cum four times, and since then it's never been more than twice.
I think I've said this before on here, but it bears repeating, if you want to live this lifestyle I think the best place to start is by ensuring that you have a strong relationship to start with. I know a lot of people bleat on that orgasm denial makes the man more willing to be a good husband, and that is true to an extent. But if you're not committed to each other and respectful of each other to start with I really don't think that it's going to work long term.
*Further to the comment left by Celtic Queen I accept that being in an FLR does not necessarily make you a panty-washing sissy. An FLR can mean whatever the people in it want it to mean/negotiate, and I accept that portraying it thus was unhelpful and inaccurate. RA.
No comments:
Post a Comment