Hiding in a drawer, but not totally forgotten...

I was clearing out a drawer a couple of days ago and I found my black CB-3000. I'd almost forgotten about it to be honest, but finding it again stirred up those familiar feelings. For those of you who haven't been reading my blog forever, a long time ago I bought a CB-3000, this was even before 24/7 chastity and Mistress R was less than enthusiastic about it. I tried it on a couple of times but it didn't fit me and I couldn't ever see it being practical. I sold that one on eBay, but then I eventually bought another one because I wanted it to work and I couldn't understand how other people were wearing them, what was I doing wrong?

Again I tried it on, even managed thirty minutes in it once... I think this was still before we went to 24/7 chastity. But still it was impossible to wear under clothing, it looked like I had a melon stuffed down my trousers, I mean it was comical, or it would be if it wasn't so frustrating.

I can only assume that the problem is my weight, which is why it still sits in the box in the drawer. Maybe one day it will fit properly. But even then, Mistress R controls my cock and ultimately she would have to be the one to decide that I could wear it. 

This is extremely unlikely to happen.

But then again, it wasn't that long ago that she was totally against the idea of ruining orgasms.

It's a shame, because the 'idea' of being physically restricted from touching my cock is so appealing, even though I know from what little experience I have that these things are pretty awkward and impractical really. The problems of peeing and cleaning alone are enough for me to question the sanity of everyone who wears one. And yet... to be locked and truly under the control of your partner must be such an amazing feeling. Well it must be or people simply wouldn't be prepared to put up with the inconvenience.

Okay so I am getting a lot better about not touching my cock without permission, but that doesn't alter the fact that if I wanted to I could whip my cock out right now and give it a damn good stroking. I would confess and suffer the paddle, but still...

My CB-3000 even comes with the points of intrigue inserts, I would love to feel those biting into my cock as Mistress straddled my face and I swelled inside the plastic tube. Maybe one day Mistress will at least let me wear it occasionally for short periods of time.

Some videos for you...

So... some of you who visit my other (Caption) blog, will probably have already have seen these videos. But I wanted to highlight the very best ones on here anyway and talk about them a little bit, if that's okay with you guys. (Click on the titles to watch the videos).

GREAT TEASE WITH RUINED ORGASM
This is a great video, even though the host site is a bit rubbish. It's often slow to load and you can't jump forward which is annoying, but even so. This is a good one for the chastity fans out there, since the lady in the video is a brilliant teaser and I really love the way she keeps building him up and then stopping at the last second. This would definitely make a good teaching video for the novice chastity Mistress. The ruined orgasm is pretty good even though the guy has a slight case of the overacting. Also two days chastity - what the fuck is that???

GANG CUMS IN WIFE AND CUCKOLD LICKS EACH OUT
I realise this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, but there's something about this video that's really hot. It certainly isn't the sound (which is woefully out of synch and best turned off IMHO), no, what I really like about it is the fact that the blond girl seems to be really enjoying herself. This being porn that either means she's a really good actress or maybe she really was really enjoying herself! Either way, this is excellent stuff... and having him jerk off on her feet and lick them clean at the end is the icing on the cake (so to speak).

HUBBY PREPARES WIFE FOR DATE
A subtler take on the whole cuckold premise, since this video focuses on the preparation rather than the act itself. You might find yourself wondering why this video turns you on (like I did) since the actress does act like a real bitch, but there are some really intensely hot moments here, most notably when she sucks on his CB-3000, when she has him worship her feet and definitely when she uses her legs to force his face deeper into her ass. Very hot indeed.

CUCKOLD'S SWEET TREAT 
While this is another 'cuckold' video, there's a strong element of Femdom in play here too. Like the second video, this actress is playing a real bitch and again it's slightly confusing how she comes off so hot while being so nasty. I guess it's just the fact that she knows how hot she is and the confidence she displays makes her a cut above.

Well that's it, I hope you enjoyed these videos, and if you haven't already visited my caption blog then you will find plenty more videos there to entertain you (just click on the tabs at the top of the page).

Femdom Session 7th October 2012...

As those of you have been reading my blog this week may know, Mistress R and I have been on holiday  from work, and what better way to finish a week off work than with a Femdom Session?
I must admit at the start of the week I was a little sceptical, a week off work could mean too much to eat and drink and too many late nights, but I'm very happy to say that we kept ourselves somewhat more in check than usual and as such we reaped the benefits of our comparative restraint!
Incidentally, before I go any further, I would just like to say that Mistress R has just read my 'Krisproll' fantasy and found it most amusing...
Anyway...
Usually before a session Mistress R informs me what she wants me to wear by ticking boxes on a list I print out for her, the list starts with wrist and ankle cuffs, which are pretty much a given and then includes the Oxballs Cocksling, a rubber cock ring, a leather cock and ball splitter (which is pretty hopeless), my CB3000, and a buttplug if I'm not mistaken! When I compiled this list (some time ago now it must be said) I also included an option to 'Surprise Me'. I don't know how many years Mistress has been filling in this list but for some reason today was the first time she has ever ticked 'Surprise Me'.
This caught me off guard a little, as I simply wasn't expecting it... I was of course tempted to brush the dust off my CB3000, but knowing that Mistress R doesn't like it and knowing that I haven't even tried to put it on for at least a year (and not having unlimited time to fuck about with it) I decided to leave it well alone. Maybe some might see that as a lost opportunity, but I have no regrets.
I toyed with the idea of trying the irritating leather cock and ball divider, which is great until my balls slip back through the gaps and then it becomes a pointless decoration. Not wanting to resort to the Oxballs or the standard rubber cock ring (excellent though they both are) I was left with two options. Well actually, that's not strictly true... I was also toying with the idea of starting the session with my black buttplug in place, but I wasn't sure if that was within the 'remit' of the surprise me option. I guess I should have established that beforehand, but I decided it was probably better to play safe and so it came down to a metal cock ring that I haven't used for many years and the leather ball splitter I reviewed on this very site a year ago and haven't used since. I remembered the leather ball splitter being rather good and eagerly slipped it on.
The ball splitter is very sturdy and unlike the other leather cock ring/ball splitter I own you don't get the feeling that it's about break apart at any moment (which is always good!). So decision made, I waited kneeling as always for Mistress to enter the bedroom with my cuffs and the leather ball splitter in place.
When Mistress entered she noted my choice and scraped her toe nails along the underside of my very tight balls, commenting on how very tight it looked and how red and angry my cock and balls looked already. Mistress then established that I had been keeping my hands off and delivered a cursory 'reminder' punishment of nine strokes of the cat to remind me, before moving onto the bed and telling me to start worshipping her feet.
I eagerly began kissing her beautiful feet, sneaking a peek at Mistress R's beautiful pussy as I did so. Mistress noticed of course and warned me to keep my eyes only on her feet until she told me otherwise. I love worshipping Mistress R's beautiful feet and as Mistress began talking to me as her 'slave' I felt my cock harden inside the leather device. I was so fucking hard, and Mistress R was making me harder by the second, telling me how my cock and balls were hers and how she loved using my cock just like a dildo...
Soon I could hear Mistress using her real dildo to pleasure herself, and before long it was inside her. Not long after it was being offered to my lips for cleaning, which I eagerly undertook, revelling in the taste of her delicious juices.
Mistress continued her verbal teasing as I worshipped her other foot before having me lay back on the bed and securing me at each corner. As Mistress mounted my face and I greedily devoured her beautiful pussy my cock felt like it would explode at any second. I was so unbelievably hard in that thing and Mistress soon took to punishing my cock and balls with her hand and her cock whip.
When I winced as she brought the cock whip down across my balls she said, "What's the matter, is it too much?"
To which I replied "No Mistress."
"Good," she said. "Because you can tell me if it is.... only, you can't keep changing your mind about whether you want me to play with your balls or not."
God, I so loved that she said that, it was so hot hearing her using my fantasies against me.
She then spent the next ten or fifteen minutes I guess, alternating between having me lick her pussy as she sat on my face, slapping and whipping my cock and sliding just the tip of my cock inside her very wet pussy.
My cock was so red and hard that Mistress asked me several times if I needed her to remove the ball splitter but I told her it was fine. It didn't help me hold back my orgasm much though and as Mistress finally allowed me to penetrate her properly I was struggling quite bit. She looked so incredibly beautiful then, looking down at me with a somewhat amused look about her as she rode my aching, throbbing, tightly restrained cock... what I wouldn't give for a photograph of her in that moment, sigh...
Just to complete the moment, as she pulled herself off me and my dripping wet cock slipped helplessly out of her she reminded me that it was nothing more than a dildo to be used solely for her pleasure.
Oh my fucking God... so HOT!
She knelt beside me and slapped my cock and balls some more (when I am really turned on I absolutely love having my balls slapped) before standing over me and taunting me with the sight of her gorgeous pink asshole, pulling her cheeks apart so that I could get a really good look before sinking down onto my face so that I could breath in her beautiful musky scent. As you can imagine my cock could have hammered in a fence post by now, and after teasing me for a while like this she finally relented and allowed me to very briefly taste her asshole, suggesting that I might be allowed more later. Then she attached clothes pegs to my nipples and left me alone for a while, my tightly bound cock still throbbing and bobbing in the air.
When she returned she had removed her leather skirt and was naked except for her black bra and her special key pendant. She looked so sexy as she moved around the bed, I couldn't wait to taste her again and make her cum. She removed the pegs and then undid my restraints, before ordering me to remove the leather balls splitter.
Then she had me on my knees and slid onto the bed in my place, leaning back against the pillows and telling me that it was time to make her cum. I kissed my way up the insides of her silky smooth thighs (I LOVE Mistress's legs, and I especially love her inner thighs they are just so beautiful and sexy) until I came to her gorgeous pussy. I could spend hours worshipping Mistress's pussy and I cherish every single second that I get to worship it, it tastes soooooooo good.
I wasn't quite relaxed though, somehow I didn't seem to be in quite the right place and I was very concerned that I wasn't hitting the right angle and no amount of fidgeting seemed to correct it. Thankfully, it wasn't too serious a problem as Mistress came and drenched my chin with her pussy juices. It was such an erotic moment, clinging to her as she writhed on the bed, licking her until she finally pushed my head away... my face was soaked and I absolutely LOVED it!
After a few moments she got up on the bed and had me lick her juices up as they dripped down her thighs, before having me lick my fingers and the PVC sheet clean.
Then she tied me on my back again before grabbing my cock and slapping it back to full hardness. Even without the leather ball splitter my cock felt huge and it became even harder when she straddled my head and I looked up to see her pussy still absolutely dripping wet. As much as I wanted to tongue her asshole, which I assumed was what was about to happen, I simply couldn't let that pussy juice go to waste and I begged Mistress R to allow me to lick her clean.
Mistress said that she thought I would have had enough pussy juice by now, though she knows well enough that I can never had enough pussy juice. She graciously allowed me to suck her pussy clean twice as she slapped and stroked my aching cock and I wondered if she would make me choose between worshipping her ass or cumming again, but no, instead she told me that she was going to allow me to worship her ass and then sank down onto my face.
I loved every second of it, of course, and my cock was really aching now, especially since Mistress R continued to stroke and slap it as I feasted on her asshole. Then she knelt beside me again and looked down at me, teasing my cock and balls with that slightly amused smile on her face once more.
"You've pleased me today..." she said. My cock throbbed in anticipation and I licked my lips, hopeful that she might be about to allow me to cum before feeding it to me like the little cumslut I am.
"...but I'm not going to let you cum today."
I felt my back arching, pushing my cock higher as if begging for attention and crucially release.
"You can handle that, can't you?"
I didn't want to handle it, of course... I wanted her to jerk me hard and make me cum. But if it pleased Mistress to leave me horny and frustrated then that's what I truly wanted.
"Of course I can Mistress," I replied.

I love that Mistress R is so settled into her role now, I love that she seems to take amusement from my frustration and my struggling not to cum when she's riding my cock. I love that I don't have to worry about what I type on my blog now, because in the past I would sometimes be wary of typing certain things in case they made her uncomfortable with being 'mean' and denying me release. I don't feel the need to do that anymore. I love that she is getting more and more comfortable with being 'mean' and telling me that I 'can't keep changing my mind about whether she can play with my balls or not' was such a wonderful thing to hear, the fact that she's telling me it's her way or nothing is just incredibly hot. I love it when she talks to me like that, I just want her to become more and more evil, I just love it!
She looked so beautiful and sexy today and I can't imagine not being with her forever, she is absolutely everything to me, I truly adore her and I honestly hope she spends the rest of our lives together deciding when, how, where and indeed if I get to cum... and enjoying my tongue of course. Oh yes.
:)

Yikes, spikes...

Just checking out a couple of sites from my favourite lists and happened across Nemo's blog where he is currently posting some captions with a 'spike' theme (check them out here) and also Cage Chronicles (welcome back after your  break) where Chris has been posting about the scary metal spikes that are being put into his chastity device by Mel (he loves it really...) you can read about these here
I must say, the idea of having a chastity device with spikes in it has always appealed to me... and Nemo's captions particularly appealed, especially the way the women are deliberately turning their slave on with the express intention of causing them discomfort.... that's hot!
Can't remember the last time I even tried my CB-3000 on, it's currently languishing forgotten in a drawer as we speak (it does actually have spikes though, so maybe one day Mistress R will surprise me by telling me to put it on? Doubtful, but a nice fantasy all the same...).

Latest thoughts on the CB-3000...

I didn't try the CB-3000 last night, I went back to my Oxballs Cocksling instead. I think that until my balls are a little looser it's always going to be a struggle, so I think I'll concentrate on that for now. We could still use the CB3000 in our upcoming Femdom session if Mistress R wants to, but I don't see it being practical for everyday use anytime soon. Still massively impressed with the cocksling, it's the most comfortable, most practical and easiest to fit cockring I've ever tried, even when you're fully hard. It really is a brilliant bit of kit.
It's not cheap, but I'd rather pay good money for a good product than pennies for useless rubbish. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of a low price is forgotten."

Of towels, ratios and the SPD-3000...

I can't remember how many orgasms Mistress R has had since I had my sixth, but it feels like a lot (it's got to be five or six). She only needs one more to achieve a ratio of 4 to 1 for the first time since we started this, and I have a feeling it's not going to be too long before it's 5/1, then 6/1, then 7/1... I very much hope so!

Mistress R loves her new towel service, I wonder if that played some small part in her deciding to extend my chastity period? After all, Mistress R is obviously starting to see the benefits of having her husband under her control...

Just had my second thirty minutes in the CB-3000, or as I am starting to think of it, the Skin Pinching Device! I put the spacer in this time, which I forgot before and really, what does it do, except exist to create another skin pinching area? For some reason I couldn't sit comfortably with it tonight, which was annoying. I tell you, if I didn't love the idea of Mistress R having my key and being able to take temptation completely out of my hands I would give up. Maybe it will be better when I've lost some weight?

Another new record...

Yesterday we had 2503 page views, which is a new record for the blog. This means that June is well on course to outstrip May and we'll probably be hitting 100,000 p/v's by the weekend. And still the blog is only ten weeks old. Unbelievable!
Last night I finally took advantage of my second 'chance'. So just after one in the morning I was allowed to stroke my cock for three minutes. Mistress R wasn't participating in any way other than to keep an eye on the clock and it felt kind of weird laying next to her doing that. But kinda nice at the same time...
Guess I'll be having another thirty minutes in the CB-3000 later. Got to get used to it sooner or later, after all.

30 mins in the CB-3000...

So I just had my first thirty minutes in the CB-3000 and... well, it's not too bad actually. Like the first time it seems to rub my nutsack up the wrong way and by the end it felt like my balls were getting a little crushed, so maybe I do need the longer pin after all. It's obviously not that noticeable under clothing as Mistress R didn't know I was wearing it until I told her. She then asked to see it and, well she didn't exactly look turned on...
I dunno. I really like the feeling of having my cock completely out of bounds, and the thought of experiencing that for some time before having Mistress R tease me is such a turn on because I can't imagine how amazing that would feel, but at the same time I completely fail to see how anyone could wear it all the time. I know you get used to it and all that but... at the moment I can't see it. But like most people I imagine, although my first instinct is to think, this is stupid even trying to wear this, I do want it to work because I really would love Mistress R to have total control of my cock and I don't see how else that is possible.

Hmm, so...

Mistress R has just read my earlier posts and the upshot is that she thinks I need to start wearing my CB-3000 and getting used to it so that when she does decide to make me wear it I will have got used to it. That's a turn up for the books!!!

Something I've noticed...

Just lately I've noticed something quite amazing. Like I said yesterday Mistress R now seems quite confident in her new role and when she decides to stop teasing me, she no longer hesitates. But more than that, I don't think Mistress is finding it as hard to deny me as she perhaps was at the start. I hope this is true because one day I truly hope that she will lock me up properly and make me wait a very long time to cum, and she'll never do that if she feels uncomfortable about denying me. She also seems to be softening a bit to the idea of the CB-3000, so maybe my dream will come true sooner than I think...

Short but sweet...

Another Saturday afternoon, another orgasm for Mistress R... and of course my long overdue confession and punishment! Sadly we did not have as much time available to us this afternoon as we would have liked as we are doing something later, so it was all a bit rushed. Naturally the important bit came first and I spent a lovely twenty minutes or so coaxing Mistress R to a nice satisfying orgasm with my fingers and tongue. After that I was straight up on my knees and Mistress R was wasting no time, demanding I tell her 'what she needed to know'. Me being a bit slow got a couple of swats from the paddle before I'd even confessed anything, and once I'd confessed to touching my cock six times over the last twelve days I received a further twenty two (I think) paddle swats and lashes of the whip.
As usual it hurt quite a lot at the time but half an hour later I can't feel a thing, which doesn't make it much of a deterrent really. Similarly Mistress R's assertion that if I can't keep my hands off my cock then she might have to instigate the use of the CB-3000 is unlikely to say the least (even if it was hot to hear her say it). I don't know if it was due to time constraints but there was no mention of having me wear the CB-3000 other than that, and I wasn't about to put it on without permission. Oh well, we've got a whole week off now and our Femdom session on Friday, so we'll see.
Mistress R did give me a brief tease and warned me that if I can't keep my hands of my cock then she might have to consider less teasing in the future, which is much more of a deterrent than the paddle to be honest...
Mistress didn't press me for details of my infractions, other than to check that I didn't cum, which is perhaps as well seeing how many 'edges' I've given myself recently

Mmm, lovely...

Just had the exquisite pleasure of making Mistress R cum once again, God I love the taste of her. Is there any greater feeling in the world than the woman you adore bucking hard against your tongue... Some nice gentle stroking for me, and a warning that she will be taking confession on Saturday (with the added warning, 'whatever you've done, don't do any more!'), but still no orgasm. Perhaps it's gonna go all the way to the next Femdom session on the 17th! That'll be 20 days, not a record, but still a while, that's assuming I get to cum then, maybe not!
I'm quite excited at the prospect of being 'made' to lose weight. I've been over seventeen stone for years now and it is miserable really, I know I only have myself to blame... but this is just what I need and who knows what positive benefits this could lead to. Mistress R is obviously very happy with my positive reaction and just now after I made her cum she said something about 'seeing me in my chastity device this weekend', err, what? This could be VERY interesting!!!

On being an opinionated little twerp...

Sometimes it’s not so easy writing a blog, it’s so easy to say the wrong thing, or tread on someone’s toes without meaning to, and of course I have to consider Mistress R’s feelings too (which is of course very, very important!). So one has to learn to phrase one’s posts in a diplomatic manner at times, even though I might be feeling a lot stronger about something than I let on (no more was this brought home to me than in my recent cuckolding discussions, which fortunately ended up with everybody being very cool, despite my sometimes slightly forthright opinions).
But this is not necessarily a bad thing. I’m sure there’s many of you out there who are a bit… impulsive, from time to time. And given the nature of the blog you are reading I’m sure there’s more than one or two of you out there who are more than a little impatient to be locked into chastity for weeks at a time. Am I right or am I right? Well, obviously I am…
But like me, I’m sure that you know only too well that sometimes it’s not always the best move to rush into things that you think you want. Some of the best decisions are made after careful consideration, experimentation and some good old fashioned ’thought’. It may also be that it simply isn’t time for that thing you want to happen yet, it might be that your significant other isn’t ready to take that step that you so desperately think you want, they may have reservations or worries that need time and care to resolve.
And sometimes it may be that once you start down the road you think you want, it might be you who wants to take it steady, while your partner might be the one who suddenly wants to run full speed ahead. I wonder how many men end up hoist by their own petard, their petard of course being that chastity belt they were so desperate to get locked into?
(It’s funny how when you start writing a post you sometimes end up writing about something completely different than when you started, this is one of those times…)
I realise of course that some of you might be thinking that I’m feeling a bit aggrieved or disappointed about the fact that Mistress R has some very strong reservations about locking my cock up, but, well, the truth is I’m not. Not really. Oh yes, the thought of being locked appeals to me, without a doubt. After all, don’t forget, I sleep beneath a canvas of Mistress R with a key around her neck! And yes I would like to experience that at some point, but as I’ve said all along, Mistress R’s happiness is more important to me than anything, and I wouldn’t want her to go along with something if it was going to make her unhappy, because that would ruin it for me anyway.
And lets not forget that we are still very new to this, and that I’ve barely managed to keep my hands off my cock for more than 48hrs at a time, even though I know I’m going to get paddled for it! So how am I going to cope with being physically unable to touch it? The truth is I don’t really know, but I think it would be fun to find out… one day, when the time is right.
I mean, let's think about this for a second. If I was going to run a marathon (not terribly likely I can assure you), would I train for nine weeks and then book myself in for the London one? Of course not, I’d do some short races and build up to it over time. Oh sure, no doubt some people would just blunder ahead, and some of them might be okay, but some of them would be the ones collapsed by the side of the road wrapped in a Bacofoil cloak (that would probably be me, by the way).
So, radical as it may be for a pro-chastity website to be espousing what might be seen as anti-chastity device propaganda, I’m sticking to my guns. I know it sometimes feels like the most important thing in the world for you (and me) to have someone else holding your key, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it a hell of a lot more if you allow your partner to get used to the idea over time and to willingly participate in your chastity, rather than feeling like she has been bullied or steamrollered into it because you won’t shut up about how much you want it RIGHT NOW!
When I read Sarah Jameson’s blog, it always surprises me when she talks about the number of emails she gets from men asking how they can get their wives to ‘lock them up’. Not asking how they can get their wives to control their orgasms or to be more dominant, but literally to ‘lock them up’. I can understand the thought process because I’ve been there myself, but surely many of them would be more successful if they started out being a little less ambitious.
I mean it’s one thing for a woman to be sat down and asked to limit the number of orgasms her partner has, that’s probably quite a shock to most women. But how much more of a shock is it going to be if you casually drop into the conversation that you want to be locked into a chastity belt that you will wear 24/7 and that she will have the only key for? Surely that’s not really the best way to do it, is it?
Besides I think that some men are seeing the device as the be-all and end-all of chastity. But it isn’t, is it? Surely the most important thing is the bond that forms between the two of you, the extra closeness that sharing in the process of male chastity generates and the powerful feelings of devotion that being kept chaste generates in the male. The device is merely a facilitator. I’m not saying it’s easy without a device, because it isn’t, but if you want something that much, shouldn’t you be prepared to work for it? Several people have said to me that having a chastity device is in some ways the easy option because you are removing the temptation. On the other hand I’m sure many would say that I’m an idiot and perhaps I should come back to them when I have worn one for a while and see how easy I think it is.
Fair enough, like I said the other day, just being in the thing for a few minutes gave me a stark insight into the difference between not be allowed to touch and not being able to touch. And believe me I can understand why people crave that feeling of utter powerlessness, because it’s a very strong emotion.
I’m not going to pretend that I don’t fantasize about being 100% under Mistress R’s control, because I obviously do, and the fact that I’ve bought another CB-3000 shows that I‘m prepared to try it (even though half my brain thinks the other half is completely crazy for wanting it!), but that is entirely dependant on Mistress R becoming comfortable with the idea.
If not then I am quite happy for her to continue to entrust me with the responsibility of ensuring that I don’t cum, because it’s more important to me that she is happy with what we are doing and that she is comfortable with the way it’s being done.
Besides I still have my own reservations about the idea, and it’s the practicalities of the thing that bother me the most. The majority of which I’m sure could be overcome with time and patience, and I’m certain there’s plenty of advice out there in the blogosphere when and if the time comes.
Funnily enough these very problems are at the forefront of my mind at present for quite different reasons. As some of you will know, I’m writing my first e-book/novel whatever you want to call it at the moment, and I’ve arrived at the point where the villain of the piece is soon to be locked into chastity. The problem is that I like my writing to be as realistic as possible, but unfortunately realism and fiction do not always happy bedfellows make. So knowing what I do about chastity devices and being pretty well read on the practicalities of starting to wear one, my problem is balancing that against a plot which pretty much demands the instant implementation of instant lock-down. It’s a tough one, but I’m sure I’ll find a solution (but in the meantime if anyone has any particularly splendid ideas, please email me). Thanks.

Some observations after the first nine weeks...

Well, it's been just over two months since Mistress R took full time control of my cock and orgasms, and what a wonderful two months it's been! Mistress R has enjoyed a total of  20 orgasms during that time (that's 2.3 per week, or one every three days), whereas I have had just 6 (that’s 0.67 per week, or about one every 10 days). Which in Mistress R’s case is probably more than expected and less than I’d hoped, and in my case less than expected but more than I’d hoped… so all in all we’re doing pretty well so far!
Besides, I can’t help thinking that my average over those two months might be higher than it will prove to be over the coming months. Because four of my six came in April, and I’d wager that since Mistress R has got used to the idea of limiting my releases, May’s total might be more representative of my future quota. Who knows, maybe one day soon I’ll have a month completely devoid of any release… or she might just decide to give me more orgasms in one night than I’ve had in the last month! I just don’t know, and as ever it’s all up to my beautiful Mistress R (just as it should be).
Of course, the orgasm stats are only half the story and the idea of me not being allowed to touch my cock has been rather less successful. I would say on average I’ve failed two or three times a week (at least) in this regard (though again I stress I haven’t cum by my own hand since April 1st), sometimes this means just giving it a squeeze to assuage an early morning ache, sometimes it means several edges in a row… I’d love this not to be the case, but whereas I’ve found getting used to not coming relatively easy, the exact opposite is true when it comes to keeping my hands off my cock. Of course the fact that I’m not coming as often is making it harder, or so you would think, but even on the days directly after a permitted orgasm I’m still finding it almost impossible to resist…
So what’s the answer? Well, as Mistress R is not overly keen on the idea of the CB-3000, I can only hope she finds a suitable deterrent or makes my current punishment a bit harder to take. Of course the ultimate punishment would be to deny my tongue access to her beautiful pussy, but that would rather be cutting off her nose to spite her face wouldn’t it? The annoying thing is that I would dearly love to be able to abide by Mistress R’s rules, as I know that when I do manage to keep my hands off the eventual teasing by Mistress R’s is even more intense and gloriously (un)satisfying. And therein lies the reasoning behind my own desire to be ‘locked’. Ten minutes in that thing was enough to make me realise why so many men are willing to put up with the hassle and inconvenience of a chastity belt, as you cannot compare the feeling of loss of control with simply being instructed to keep your hands off. That said, I’m still scared shitless of the thing, in the same way that someone might be scared of a roller coaster (not a very good example as I hate roller coasters, but you know what I mean!)… but it’s a moot point as Mistress R isn’t keen and anyway I’m still not convinced I would actually enjoy wearing it for more than short periods…
Leaving that aside, this past two months has been something of a revelation, as I think we have felt closer than we have for a long time (and we have always been a very close couple anyway), we kiss and touch constantly, we both seem more at ease sexually and Mistress R is gradually coming to terms with the idea that she should take all the pleasure she wants from me whenever she wants it.
For my part I certainly have no regrets whatsoever, I’m sure I’ve spent more time this past two months pleasuring Mistress R than I have for any similar period in the last decade, and from what I’ve seen of late her orgasms have become stronger and more satisfying than ever before (only my impression, she may disagree). I adore being teased by her, having her stroking my cock however she likes until she leaves me rock hard and throbbing, and being inside her but knowing I’m not allowed to cum is a feeling I can’t even begin to describe… it makes me feel a little dizzy just thinking about it.
Although I was a little surprised when Mistress R decided that not only would I not be allowed to beg to be allowed to cum, but that I also wouldn’t be allowed to ask to be allowed inside her, I think it has worked out really well. Because now when she decides it is time I know she really wants me inside her and that makes it so much more enjoyable for me and special for the pair of us. I also love that Mistress R has overcome her reservations about making me lick her clean when she does permit me to cum inside her, because that is a wonderful experience and something I am always waiting for…
It will certainly be interesting to see what transpires in the coming months as Mistress R becomes more and more comfortable in her new role. Maybe she will decide to go all out and push for the fifty days of chastity she threatened me with before, or perhaps she might announce that in future I will have to eat my cum every time I am allowed to orgasm and then make me cum seven days in a row? Oh such sweet cruelty, I can’t help but look forward to whatever Mistress R plans for me. She truly is a Goddess in my eyes.

Mistress R has read last night's post...

And, pretty much as expected, she's not crazy on the idea of the CB-3000. But neither is she upset about it. She has agreed that we could possibly use it in the Femdom sessions, which is what I expected really and to be honest I'm happy with that. At the end of the day I am happy to do whatever Mistress R wants me to do, and who knows maybe once she's seen it on she might decide she likes it more than she thought. At least I have a usable one now and occasional use is a possibility.

Just had Mistress R read through the 3,500 words I've added to my book in the last few days and she's still impressed! I'm pleased because I'm currently writing a tricky, pivotal scene, so it's good to know that I'm still pointing in the right direction.

Mmm, Mistress R just allowed me to worship her feet for about ten minutes. It was so lovely!

Another O for Mistress R...

What a lovely way to spend Saturday morning, between Mistress R's gorgeous, smooth, sexy thighs, bringing her to a lovely hard orgasm. And a nice mixture of soft and firm strokes for me too... but no orgasm, of course. Unfortunately, due to our busy morning I haven't had time to show her my post from last night / this morning yet...and now she's gone off to have her hair done for a couple of hours.
Of course posting my thoughts to the blog last night probably wasn't the best way to do things, but I really wanted to get my thoughts down so that Mistress R could read them, as I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to verbalize them as well. It was unfortunate that by the time I had finished writing them it was past one in the morning and Mistress R was fast asleep, and because of our busy morning today she still hasn't yet read them...
I had already spent 24 hours trying to decide what the best way to tell Mistress R about the new CB-3000 was, without any clear decision being obvious. I wondered whether to put it on just before going to bed and letting her 'find' it, but decided against this in the end.
I would have loved to have told her when she came home on Thursday, but she had been drinking and it just didn't feel right, and of course the longer you wait the more difficult it is. I am also concerned that Mistress R might feel 'pressured', that she might think I want to wear it all the time, etc etc. That really isn't the case, especially now I've tried it on again. I'm not saying that I wouldn't wear it if she wanted me too, because I would, but it wouldn't be as simple as her locking it on and letting me get on with it.
So once again I feel like I am taking a big risk, by bringing this up again, but the last six months have been so incredible that I feel like sometimes you have to take big risks to get big rewards.

The CB-3000, a second chance...

Those of you who have read a lot of this blog will have noticed that from time to time I have made various disparaging remarks about the CB-3000. I bought my first one (a clear one) about six months ago now, and right from the moment I got it I thought, this is never going to work. The tube was too small for my cock, the rings were too tight, and when I did manage to get it on it stuck out a mile, there was no way it was ever going to be worn under clothes. Rather disappointed, and it must be said, annoyed, I sold it on within a few weeks (and actually made a profit on it!).
Naturally, chastity being a big interest of mine, I visit a number of sites where people talk about their chastity devices, and sure enough this always makes me gnash my teeth as I remember the frustration of trying to get that stupid thing on. See, although I know selling it was the best thing to do, not least because it was a bit of a cheap crappy one, I can't help but still want one. I want to know what it feels like to be physically unable to touch your cock and to be totally at your Mistress's mercy, I really do.
And so it was with crushing inevitability that a few weeks ago, late one night I purchased another one, still a CB-3000 but a black one this time. It was a different design to the first one, with a pivoted rather than solid ring and the seam running round the edge of the tube rather than top and bottom. I didn't tell Mistress R at the time because she knew why I had sold the other one and so she was bound to say 'what's the point' you've already tried it.
But I just had a feeling that it had to be me, because I've never seen anyone else complain about the rings or the tube being too small, and it's not like I'm hung like a donkey or anything (well, maybe a small donkey... no, not really). Sure they complain about them breaking (especially the top and bottom seam ones) and chafing and other things, but not about them being too small. So I was determined to try again. Also since I had sold mine I had read that you need to use lube to get the tube on, which I had never tried, so I thought, fuck it, I've got to try this again and if it still doesn't work then I'll give up.
So a few days later it arrived and what do you know, I couldn't get it on. Right, I thought, perhaps it's because of my weight, I'll keep this one and try it again when I've lost some weight. This was a couple of weeks ago...
So last night Mistress R went to visit her friend and I was left alone for the evening, ostensibly to write my book (which I did manage to do - 2,300 words in fact), but as I had this free time to myself I thought, why not have a proper go and see if you can get it on or not. So I dug it out and after a while I managed to get the largest ring to close and quickly secured it with the pin. So far so good. Then I squirted some lube on my cock and after a bit of wincing and manipulation, I managed to get the tube on and quickly locked the padlock to hold it on.
Of course I then realised that I'd used the longest pin and it was too long, so I took it off again, swapped it for the shortest pin and put it all back again. Of course I forgot the spacers and now it was a little too close (should have used the medium pin), but it was on and I thought, okay let's try this for a few minutes.
It certainly fits much better than the first one, and once it's on it's not uncomfortable, in fact I can quite understand a comment I read the other day (can't remember where, sorry) about feeling safe in it and missing it when it's not there. It sits better and definitely hangs closer to the body than the other one did, and when I've lost some weight I could maybe picture it fitting under clothes.
My next thought of course was, I wonder what it feels like when you try to get hard? So I looked at some porn on the internet and my cock started to harden a bit (trying to get hard without being able to touch your cock, not as easy as you might think...) and basically what happens is that rather than swelling inside the tube (which is how they break) it pushed the tube forward, which in turn pulled the base ring forward and started to cause some discomfort to my balls. This was not entirely unexpected as I've heard other people say that this is what happens to them.
After this I decided to take it off and put it away, but not before I noted just how much different it is being actually physically unable to touch your cock, rather than it just not being allowed. Suddenly my appreciation for the experience of chastity belt wearers has just gone off the chart. I only had it on for maybe ten minutes, and my mind was totally overwhelmed by the thought of not being able to touch my cock at all for days or weeks, the sense of frustration must be so many times more intense, and it is at once terrifying and enormously appealing. I can't imagine how grateful I would be to be released and stroked after wearing this for a while, I think I would quickly submit to just about anything, which again is terrifying and enormously appealing all at once.
And of course I haven't actually tried it with what I think is the correct pin in yet, or the Kali's teeth which came with it, and as it stands I know my balls are probably too tight to wear it for any length of time (hence why I have just spent the last 20 minutes in the Oxballs Cocksling and am now just putting it back on again for another 20 minutes) but, there is hope, because now I know I can get it on and that it is quite comfortable.
But still I'm not entirely convinced, I don't quite see how hygiene is going to be maintained, unless the thing is taken off for showering every day and I'm not at all sure about peeing with this thing on, though other people must manage.. and yet the psychological pull of being completely at Mistress R's mercy is so strong and persuasive.
What would perhaps be realistic in the short term would perhaps be for Mistress R to have me wear it at the start of our Femdom sessions, so that she gets to 'unlock' me, even if it's only actually been on for a few minutes (it could be a bit longer I suppose, depending on how long she makes me wait during the session). At least it would be a symbolic act if nothing else. Or maybe she might have me wear it while I'm going down on her sometimes, never sure whether she will release me for teasing or not... (I like that idea a lot!).
And of course, maybe Mistress might want to lock me up on certain occasions, like perhaps when she goes to see her friend and leaves me alone for the evening... because once I'd taken it off I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Oh yes, and rest assured I'm going to be punished for those edges soon enough...

Perhaps a bit of a recap is in order...

I have so many new visitors to my blog in the last 24 hours, thanks to Tom and Dev at Keyheld, I thought it might be an idea to have a bit of a recap as to how I got into this position...
Mistress R and I met in the early 90's when we were both in our early twenties. We were pretty much inseparable from the start and married quite quickly. After several years I somehow managed to pluck up the courage to suggest Femdom, I don't really remember too much about the conversation other than it was a bit uncomfortable... I do remember that Mistress thought that meant I wanted her to sleep with other men (an easy misconception I suppose). Thankfully we cleared all that up and slowly embarked on a very gentle Femdom course.
For reasons I won't go into here we stopped after a while and then started up again around the turn of the century. This time we went much further, with a strap-on, butt plugs, etc. This continued for the next ten years give or take, getting better all the time, but still remaining firmly a once a month treat. I would quite happily have made it a larger part of our sex life but Mistress was adamant that it should remain as it was as she didn't want our sexlife to become only Femdom. Fair enough, I knew a lot of men would kill for one hour of Femdom a month, so I counted myself very lucky.
I have been writing stories for Literotica for several years now and have been reading stories from that site for even longer. One story which I have always enjoyed and returned to time and again is 'Terri's Teasing Torment's'. It's quite a tame story really, but I think it's the perfect introduction to chastity play.
Anyway, over the last year or so, I gradually became more and more intrigued by the idea of male chastity. I discovered Sarah Jameson's excellent blog (www.malechastityblog.com) and read and absorbed the whole thing. I also bought a CB-3000, as the idea of being locked fascinated me. However I found it very unsuitable and not at all user-friendly, mainly because I couldn't get it on and when I did (sort of) it stuck out a mile and I couldn't possibly have worn it under clothes.
Despite this disappointment, the idea of male chastity and the idea of becoming more controlled by my beautiful wife / Mistress  appealed greatly to me (one thing which appealed to me was simply the removal of performance anxiety which I have suffered with a fair amount) and one day I tried to get my wife interested in the idea. To say she was not keen would be an understatement, of epic proportions. In fact she was quite upset about the whole thing and seeing her reaction I did the only thing I thought I could do, I dropped it and tried to forget about it.
About a fortnight afterwards my wife brought the subject up again, which massively surprised me, I don't know why she did that, perhaps she could tell that it was still on my mind and she thought if she didn't resolve the issue one way or another then it would fester inside me and make me resent her.
Regardless we talked it over and I tried to convince her of all the positives it would bring to the relationship. I must have been at least partly successful as she agreed to impose a chastity period leading up to our monthly Femdom sessions. In truth this wasn't too difficult as we already left 3-4 days before the sessions to make sure that I was feeling somewhat horny before we started. Over the course of three or four months she extended the period from four days to twelve, and once she realised that it wasn't actually that big an issue and that I wasn't a gibbering wreck she became a little more comfortable with the idea. Of course during this time I was more than happy to provide her with as much oral servitude as she could wish for and once or twice we had penetrative sex without me cumming.
In truth for those first few months I wasn't getting exactly what I wanted, as the teasing was nowhere near as intense as I would have liked it, but I was determined to stick it out. That's the thing with male-chastity, you've got to be prepared to play the long game. I doubt many women are going to get it exactly how you want it straight away and though it may be frustrating (and not in a fun way) you must allow it to move at her pace or you risk blowing the whole thing.
Finally last month after our Femdom session, Mistress R agreed to put me back on 'stop' and I spent my first month under her control. I was allowed to cum once about four days later and then was kept waiting for a further twelve days before I was allowed to cum again. After that I had to wait for our next Femdom session to cum again, which was also the first time I was allowed inside her since before the previous Femdom session.
I was delighted when Mistress R agreed to continue the game following our latest Femdom session and am now once again under her control, with no idea when I will be allowed to cum again. This is still a work in progress, as I would like my orgasms to become less frequent and I am also trying to convince Mistress R that she does not have to allow me to cum during our Femdom sessions. That said, I have given Mistress R total control of my cock and orgasms and therefore it is up to her when I am allowed to cum, and as such if she wants me to cum every night then that is what will happen (who knows, maybe she will decide to do that at some point just to underline that it is she who decides and not I).
We are still refining the process and this last week we discussed certain points that have come up over the past month and it has been decided that I am now not allowed to ask for anything from my Mistress. She controls my cock and she decides when it is touched, when it is allowed to cum and when it is allowed inside her gorgeous pussy. I am totally happy with this. I am allowed to offer her oral service and foot worship, and if I feel that I am getting too horny and that I am going to disobey her and touch my cock without permission  then I am permitted to ask her permission to do so. This hasn't occurred as yet, but she has made it clear to me that in this situation she may allow me to touch it myself, she may allow me to touch it under her supervision, she may touch it herself, or she may simply refuse permission altogether.
As I say, this is still a developing situation, but so far it seems to be going very well for both of us. I can certainly say that my cock is much harder and reliable than it was before and Mistress seems to have become more comfortable with the whole thing and perhaps because of her natural character is quite enjoying being in control and deciding when she wants my cock inside her and when she wants to see me cum.
I must admit the thought of being properly locked still appeals enormously to me, there's something about the thought of Mistress having my key around her neck that turns me to jelly, but for the moment I am more than happy to enjoy my current situation without worrying about that too much. As it is I have no real problem with fighting off the desire to make myself cum (although I have only gone a maximum of nineteen days), but trying not to touch my cock when it is rock hard and aching for attention is proving somewhat more of a challenge. However, I am endeavouring to apply myself to the task and have managed a guilt free sixty hours since my last permitted orgasm so far. Perhaps Mistress R's instruction that I must write down any infractions has focussed my mind sufficiently to make it to the next session without a blemish on my report card... only time will tell, and there's always a danger that Mistress will deliberately ignore me nearer the time and make it impossible for me to resist just so she can paddle my backside once again.
I am certainly looking forward to my next teasing session, whenever that may be, especially since Mistress has  recently realised that I can take quite a lot of hard stroking without losing control. But then again, maybe Mistress will only decide to use the gentlest of touches to tease me, perhaps to force me to beg her to stroke me harder (I am allowed to ask, once the teasing begins, but with no guarantees...), I can only wait patiently and hope.
You know, I still love the Femdom sessions and I especially love the way it brings out Mistress R's confidence and sexual exuberance, but being under her control 24/7 (even without a chastity device) really is absolutely amazing. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but for me it's absolute Heaven.

Have you tried a Birdlock?

Sometime last year I bought a CB-3000, and it was completely useless. I couldn't hardly get the biggest ring on and when I did (sort of) get the stupid thing on, well.... let's just say it was so tight and stuck out so much, there's no way I could have worn it day to day as it's intended.
The 'Birdlock' chastity device looks interesting as it is obviously soft and flexible, so I am interested to read anyone's experience using this device.
(Security is a big thing for a lot of chastity device users, but for me this is not such an issue as I don't have any intention of trying to escape, although I guess maybe that would change if I was denied long enough!)