Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Sigh...

I'm not feeling inclined to post much at the moment, on the one hand last night Mistress R had a stupendous orgasm which made me really happy, but afterwards when she started teasing me my cock was barely hard at all. So, I'm feeling a bit fed up really... but who knows, maybe in a couple of days it will spring back to life? I really hope so.

Friday, 26 October 2012

Sweet...

This evening was surprising... I anticipated going down on Mistress R and making her cum, possibly followed by a half-hearted erection which required a cock ring before Mistress R could tease me properly. Instead, I got into bed next to Mistress R and we started kissing. She reached down and started playing with my cock, it was a little slow starting, but it soon got reasonably hard. Mistress then instructed me to lick my fingers and start touching her pussy, we continued kissing and masturbating each other until my cock was really hard (if not quite as 'rock' as I'd like).
Just as I was starting to wonder where this was going to lead Mistress R told me she wanted me to get on top and slide my cock inside her. This is usually the bit I get nervous about, that transition from lying down to on my knees between her legs is usually where my cock starts to deflate. But not this time, thankfully.
Mistress fed my cock into her very tight pussy and I pushed inside her, lifting her legs up over my shoulders as I started to fuck her. She spurred me on, telling me how good it felt being fucked hard and asked me if I wanted to fuck her hard and be allowed to cum inside her. I told her yes, and I slammed my cock into her as hard as I could. Needless to say it didn't last too long, the strange thing was even after I felt myself cum I seemed to stay hard for a while and I managed another eight or so hard thrusts before my cock started to wilt.
I can't tell you how good it felt to cum in Mistress R's beautiful, tight pussy like that, especially after the last few days and the stress of not getting hard, I hate it when that happens, it's so depressing!
Afterwards I licked Mistress R (not particularly well in my honest opinion) to a rather elusive (but very worthwhile) orgasm, which left us both feeling a lot better and ready to enjoy the weekend.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Did they make a swimmable iPod yet...

Well, it seems that for the moment at least I am back to cock rings as a matter of course. After licking Mistress to a lovely orgasm last night my cock just absolutely refused to respond until I put a cock ring on, thereafter it was okay, though Mistress's attempt to ride me didn't last long... it didn't feel right to either of us (I'm guessing...) but I did get some nice teasing and as it progressed my cock did get harder... but it wasn't that comfortable hard, you know when you can leave it untouched for minutes and it will stay hard, no this was more of a leave it alone for more than ten seconds and it's over. Which is kinda stressful and does take the fun out of it somewhat. Annoying really, cos yesterday morning it was solid. Typical.
Oh well, I've had 18 months without a problem now, so I should be grateful for that. I dunno what's wrong with me at the moment, I'm always hot, I'm always tired... if I was a woman you would think I was going through the menopause.
On the positive side, in the last three days I've done some good exercise. I did 5 miles on the treadmill on each of the last two days and today I did 1000 steps (just like on Biggest Loser), that was fucking hard work I can tell you! Took me 36 mins and 57 secs, the best thing about it was that I could watch my Celldweller DVD while I did it. That's the thing with me and exercise, if I can listen to music I can do it, that's why swimming is such a chore. Do they make a swimmable iPod yet?

Monday, 22 October 2012

Sex Slave Poll...

I know I don't post as many polls as I used to, but I have kind of exhausted most obvious angles... still, today I have a new poll for you and one you might have to think about a little bit more than usual. The question is not easy to formulate into a one liner, but what I'm asking is, if you were guaranteed not to be 'ignored' or sidelined (in other words if you were assured of plenty of stimulation) would you give up total control of your sex life to your Mistress.
The obvious answer is yes, but I mean total control. Which means, for example, she may never let you inside her again. She may cuckold you. She may do whatever she wants with your cock, balls ass and mouth (within reason). She may force you to do all sorts of things you might not really 'want' to do...
Of course you would have to talk it out and both understand exactly what was meant by this, perhaps you would be willing to give up 100% control on the proviso that she stayed faithful, which is fair enough, that would probably be my choice.
I hope you will give this some thought before voting.

Sunday, 21 October 2012

Mistress R tastes sooooo good...

This afternoon I finally got to taste my beautiful Mistress's pussy again, it seemed so long since I last made her cum (six days actually, but it feels like forever!). Well, she tasted absolutely gorgeous, and it made me so happy when she came really hard. Unfortunately, despite my cock being as hard as steel last night, today it was having another off day... but I'm not going to get stressed about it, because that won't help and will almost certainly only make the problem worse. I have no idea why it wouldn't stay fully hard throughout my teasing, but I am feeling inordinately hot today, and I have a toothache, so I do wonder if that isn't helping. That aside I am obviously still not over my little wobble last week and I know better than most the self-defeating circle of worrying and failure when it comes to ED.
It was still good, obviously, but I'm not really going to be fully happy until I am rock hard every time and I start waking up hard like I had been for months until the last couple of weeks, which tells me there's something not quite right...
Ah well, I've been here before and got over it. And I loved making Mistress cum today, that was absolutely wonderful. And last night was incredible too, so I can't feel too bad for myself!

Exactly what I needed...

The last week has been less than brilliant, following my meltdown last weekend I have remained somewhat stressed and depressed most of the week and with Mistress having been on her period the one thing most likely to get my head back in order has not been possible. But Mistress tells me that today I will be allowed to lick her pussy and make her cum, and I am so looking forward to that!
Late last night, Mistress came to bed after me and gave me one of her incredible late-night teasing sessions. My cock was throbbing hard, like it hasn't been all week... it literally felt on the brink of exploding, but somehow I managed to hold back. I'm wondering if that was partly the effect of the kegels I've been doing this last few days?
Actually, I don't know about you guys, but I found them so much easier to do when laying down. When I was doing them standing up I think half the time I was contracting my stomach muscles as much as anything else. I guess it makes sense because if you are standing up the rest of your muscles can't really be relaxed can they.
Anyway, Mistress had me staring over the edge of an orgasm sized cliff for several minutes and had I been allowed to you can bet I would have been begging to jump off. Instead I had to make do with kissing her deeply and telling her how much I loved her as she stroked, slapped and teased my aching cock.
It was pretty clear how much Mistress R was enjoying teasing me too, and that just made it even better for me. I just can't wait to taste Mistress's pussy later, I hope she has a HUGE orgasm!

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Still learning...

It's good to see the return of A Queen & Her Knight's blogspot, I see a certain parallel between my behaviour and her knight's in recent days. Having given up control it's not always easy to leave things be, even if this meddling can be rooted in the best of intentions the truth is it's up to Mistress R to tell me if she is unhappy, or if she wants something different. This last weekend and the massive stress-out (all over nothing very much at all it has to be said) is abundant proof of that. Mistress R has been perfectly happy for months and then I get it into my head that something's not as it should be and create a big old drama out of nothing. How pointless... hopefully I will learn a valuable lesson from this and adjust my behaviour in the future.

I'm still doing these kegel things, though I do find them a little difficult... holding for thirty seconds is trickier than you might imagine and it's hard to do them without flexing your stomach muscles too. Still, hopefully there will be some benefit!

Monday, 15 October 2012

Idiot...

Well... I feel like a complete idiot. Now that the (self-inflicted) stress of the last few days is over, it's suddenly dawned on me what a complete fool I've been... because somehow my brain has contrived to literally create a problem out of absolutely nothing. Indeed, my brain has somehow literally dragged up an old problem that has long since been largely resolved and brought it all back up again, and my head was so busy stressing and worrying that it seemingly didn't quite have the awareness to say, hang on a minute, what the fuck are you going on about?
Because, despite my complete stress-out, it suddenly occurred to me just today that actually, the last time we had sex with me on top there was no problem. True, I DID have a massive cramp when I came, but I wasn't losing my erection even though I wasn't wearing my cock ring. Indeed I'm struggling to think when the last time was that I did have a problem... and suddenly all my stressing out over the weekend seems completely groundless, no wonder Mistress R was completely bewildered.
All I've really done is dragged up an old problem and made it a problem again, by thinking about it. I mean once I was in that state it was inevitable that it wasn't going to work, wasn't it. What a fucking idiot. I am so annoyed with myself... talk about sabotaging yourself.
And now of course, it's going to play on both our minds, me because I will worry that it won't work next time and Mistress R because she'll be thinking exactly the same thing.
On a more positive note, Mistress R has just enjoyed a great orgasm and is even now drifting off to sleep. She's very tired and I will have to wait for my teasing, but I really don't mind at all, I absolutely loved making her cum tonight, just as I always do.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

More of the same...

After yesterday I am feeling a LOT better, I'm not stressing about it anymore, but I still find it hard to understand why it is that I am perfectly able to get and stay VERY hard when I'm on my back and yet as soon as I get up on my knees it becomes a lottery. I have maintained a solid erection while being on top in the reasonably recent past and I'm pretty sure the last time we did it I managed perfectly well even without the cock ring...
Also... I do find that often at the start of the session I am on top, kissing Mistress R and my cock gets extremely hard as she strokes it, but of course generally speaking she is not ready to be penetrated then (although she has seized the moment a couple of times and it's been wonderfully intense, not to mention tight!). The thing about that is that it rather disproves any theory that there's any physical problem when I'm kneeling which isn't there when I'm lying down so therefore it MUST be in my head. 
True, cramp is a big problem for me when kneeling, I recently built a cabinet from Ikea and just kneeling on the floor doing that gave me at least one nasty bout of cramp, but I can't believe that's all it is. 
Perhaps it's simply because back when I was having ED issues, it was back when we were 'vanilla' and so most of those times it happened when I was on top, so I guess I'm associating that position with the problem? But then it's not like we haven't successfully had missionary sex since, albeit I am always nervous about it to start with. 
Still, let's be honest, it could be worse, my cock is pretty damned reliable as long as I'm laying on my back and at least I'm not having to take pills to make it work at all. It's just so irritating not being able to understand why it won't always play ball when I want it to.

Still, I really should try and focus on the fact that despite this one niggle, Mistress R and I have had the best sex of our lives this last eighteen months. I am so glad that she agreed to control my cock, and as I told her last night, I really do want her to control my cock and orgasms for the rest of my life.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

The wisdom of 'k'...

Thanks to everyone who commented on my post earlier today, it is appreciated... 'k' was right, I need to learn to stop worrying and to let Mistress R control things just as I asked her to.
The root of my concern goes way back, to when I was having ED problems in the past (before male chastity). For some reason which I don't understand, I could be rock hard and then as soon as I tried to get on top I would go soft, and this happened quite a lot. Now from what I've read on the internet an awful lot of men find it difficult to stay hard when they are laying on their back, which I guess makes sense, the blood is being pumped uphill after all. But I seem to have the opposite problem, I have no trouble staying hard when I'm on my back...
Anyway. On the few occasions I've been allowed on top over the last eighteen months it's been mostly fine, but it's still a risky endeavour. As most men will attest, not being able to stay hard when you want to is a bit of a downer to say the least, and I think that Mistress R has gauged the hardness of my cock and used that as a guide for when to allow me on top. I can't say I blame her for that, I do find it very upsetting when I lose my erection, a cock ring is usually a great help but even that isn't 100% reliable, especially if I'm tired and stressed.
Anyway, as some of you will remember, right back at the start of our chastity journey Mistress R stipulated two rules of her own that meant that I was not allowed to ask to be allowed to cum, or to be inside her. I was quite surprised at the time, especially when the frequency of penetration was quite low to what we had been used to before.
So over the last eighteen months (as chastity has dramatically increased the quality of my erections) Mistress has taken to riding my cock more and more often, which is great - obviously. But, while it didn't bother me for myself, it's hard to shake off the stereotypical idea that what women really want is to be fucked hard underneath their fella. Maybe not so much for your truly dominant wife, but Mistress R is a long way from being an 'alpha-female'.
This bothered me, because a) being a chaste male means that my capacity for fucking Mistress R hard is somewhat limited by my ability to hold back after long periods without cumming, and b) because I know that being on top isn't always a successful situation for me.
This doesn't bother me so much for 'me', because I love being underneath Mistress R and looking up at her riding my cock for as long as she pleases, but it bothers me that she might want something which I may not always be able to give her.
Anyway, so my earlier posts have been playing on my mind quite a bit and I've effectively worked myself up into a complete stress over it, even though Mistress R hasn't complained about a lack of 'on-top, vigorous penetration'. But she really didn't need to because I had already convinced myself that she 'must' be missing it because conventional wisdom tells me so!
We went to bed this afternoon and Mistress had a lovely, hard orgasm after which she told me to put my cock ring on. I guess it wasn't the best of ideas because all this was still going round my head and being stressed (and rather tired too) this was not the best time to be trying something out of the ordinary.
At first I was hard enough, Mistress straddled me and rode my cock which was lovely, but then she got off and we tried a position we had talked about trying earlier and from the moment I got up off the bed my cock was wilting, even with my rubber cock ring on... and from there the whole thing turned into a bit of a disaster. Which naturally didn't make me feel very good at all. Having gone through some fairly lengthy periods of ED I have no desire to relive that particular experience, and knowing that 99% of it is in the head, it's essential that you do not fall into the trap of failure and expectation of failure, which is oh so bloody easy to get into...
So Mistress R and I talked and I gradually managed to put my feelings into words, suffice to say that she assured me that she has been perfectly happy these past eighteen months too and while, yes she does like to be 'fucked' sometimes, she hasn't been feeling in any way neglected or unfulfilled, and she certainly does not want to give up control of my cock.
We were in bed for well over two hours and the lesson that came out of it really is that what 'k' said was absolutely right, I may feel that it's unfair to put all the onus on Mistress R to decide everything, but that is what this is about. While I may be concerned that it could be a burden to her, I have to learn to let it go, because she is the one in control now.
After we had thrashed out our problems we started to kiss and my cock quickly hardened to bursting point, which was of course at once a relief and also a massive annoyance (like, where the fuck were you earlier, when I fucking needed you you fucking fucker?). But by this point I was willing to forget about that, since Mistress R was up on her knees holding my cock with one hand and slapping it around with the other.
Meanwhile I was slipping my fingers inside her slippery, but tight pussy and before long she was back on top of me again, bearing down on me and threatening to push me over the edge with her tight, tight pussy. After initially struggling to hold back I turned the corner and started to meet her strokes with hard upward thrusts, indeed once Mistress R started to increase the intensity and told me she wanted me to shoot my cum inside her I had to re-find the edge again so that I could allow myself to be pushed over it!
It was a very intense and wonderful orgasm and seconds after finishing it I was staring up at Mistress R's beautiful cum filled pussy before licking her clean. The afternoon had been more than a little stressful but we had both had fantastic orgasms and so long as Mistress R is happy then I am happy. It does still bother me that I can't be 100% relied upon to go on top whenever Mistress R wants me to, but I guess I am going to have to learn to stop worrying about it and trust her to decide when she thinks I am turned on and hard enough to grant me that treat.
I guess part of the problem is that I just want everything to be perfect in our relationship all the time, and more to the point I want Mistress R to be 100% satisfied with our sex life. Mistress R is my life and I hate to think that I might be letting her down in some way. She has done her absolute best to convince me that she is blissfully happy with the way the last eighteen months has gone and she doesn't feel that she is missing out on anything at all.
I really needed to hear that, because I really was getting myself into a bit of state about it. I'm also really, really glad that Mistress R rode my cock again, there's no better cure for not getting into the spiral of ED failure and expectation of failure than a really hard, orgasmic fuck... and the creampie was the just the spectacular icing on the cake.
I love Mistress R so much and it isn't always easy to switch off and stop worrrying, especially when we've had a long, happy 'normal', sexually-equal marriage before starting chastity. But I guess that's what I really do need to learn to do for this to continue to work properly.

Sorry for any typos, I'm actually falling asleep typing this!

Kegel exercises...


So I found these on the internet and thought some of you might like to try these too...

kegel session 1
Exercise A
Sets: 3
Quickly clench and release repeatedly for 10 seconds.

Take a 10-second break between sets.

Exercise B
Sets: 10
Clench and release repeatedly for 5 seconds.

Take a 5-second break between sets.

Exercise C
Sets: 3
Tighten and hold your PC muscle for 30 seconds.

Take a 30 second break between sets.

That’s it for today, but repeat these Kegel exercises for men daily for one week.

kegel session 2

Exercise A
Sets: 10
Clench and hold your PC muscle for 5 seconds.

Release and repeat.

Exercise B
Sets: 3
Quickly clench and release your PC muscle 10 times.

Exercise C
Sets: 3
Clench and release your PC muscle alternatively in long and short bursts for counts of 10.

Exercise D 
Sets: 1
Tighten your PC muscle and hold for as long as you can. Aim for 2 minutes.

You can do the session 2 Kegel exercises for men for a week; however, feel free to progress if you feel you are strong enough. Remember that these are strengthening exercises, so start off slowly and build up, just like you would with any other muscle.

kegel session 3
Exercise A
Sets: 30 (work your way up to more than 100)
Clench and release your PC muscle over and over again.

Exercise B 
Sets: 5
Tighten as much as you possibly can (ensure that you are only squeezing your PC muscle).

Hold for 20 seconds.

Take a 30-second break between sets.

kegel session 4
Exercise A 
Sets: As many as you like.
Clench and release your PC muscle for 2 minutes every day.

Work your way up to doing 20 minutes 3 times a day -- you should eventually be able to perform 200 repetitions per session.

When can I do Kegels?
You can do Kegel exercises for men anytime, anywhere; there are very few places you can’t practice this. It is not recommended, however, to do these exercises when you are trying to concentrate on something else, as you may find yourself quite distracted. A great place to do them is on the couch in front of the TV or while stuck at traffic lights.

How will I know when something is happening?
You will know because you will be able to feel it, and so will your lover. A harder penis, better control and longer lasting sex are all benefits of having strong PC muscles. There is absolutely no excuse for not having these important sexual muscles in excellent working order. If you have trouble withpremature ejaculation, try these exercises before you head to the pharmacy or your health professional.

What not to do
Don’t overdo it. It is often tempting to throw yourself into something head on, especially when it means better sex. However, as with any other muscle you are working out, you need to give it some time to heal between sessions. This means regular rests and not overdoing it. If you follow the exercise schedule as you see fit, you should soon be great -- listen to your body. It knows what it’s talking about!

Don’t use any other muscle during the exercises. It is sometimes difficult to isolate the PC muscles, especially if they are weak. Be aware of what you are doing, and if you feel like you are contracting any other muscles (mainly abdominals and thighs), then you need to relax and start again. Just remember that it might take a few weeks to build up some strength. Keep at it.

A little bit concerned (again)...

Yesterday I showed Mistress R my post about our fun time in the kitchen, I wasn't expecting a 'conversation' to come out of it, but it did. Mistress R said that the reason she does not have me on top very often is because I tend to get cramp and last time she allowed me to cum while on top (if you remember) I was in a massive cramp as I was cumming. This is true, since I had my operation I do tend to get cramp much worse than I used to, and it seems to be triggered by putting my legs at a certain angle...
As for taking Mistress R from behind, it wasn't that common an occurrence even before our chastity play started (although we used to do it with her lying on her side all the time, which we both loved - especially as I could see Mistress R's gorgeous ass, both a blessing and a curse when you are trying not to cum mind you!) and I've always associated that with Mistress R wanting me to fuck her hard and fast...
Which obviously isn't going to be easy given that I am only getting to cum roughly once every fourteen days.
While I personally don't miss these positions enough to give up denial, it's always been a serious concern of mine that I didn't want our chastity experiment to detract from Mistress R's pleasure in any way and as I told her last night I really want her to be able to use my cock for her pleasure in any way she wants.
A cock ring goes a long way to helping when you get a mild cramp, since it stops that instant deflation that might otherwise occur, and as far as being on top I have managed a reasonable length of time without cumming while on top (albeit I've also only managed some very delicate strokes before having to stop pretty damn quick on another occasion too).
During our conversation Mistress R did say that she loves having me on top and being fucked from behind, which I feel bad about knowing that she's been missing out on that this last eighteen months... my concern is that as I have noted on here before, since I have been denied consecutively for so long, there really isn't much delay any more between orgasm and the ache returning (which in some ways is brilliant, obviously!), so even the idea of fitting in a hard fuck before I get 'desperate' again seems a little unrealistic to me.
It would be easy for me to conclude that I have given control to Mistress R and am thus absolved of any responsibility, but I do not believe that to be fair and what is bothering me more than anything at the moment is that despite the massive positives which chastity has brought, it has also put us in a position where Mistress R is missing out on something which she enjoys.
I'm sure I'm not the first chaste male to encounter this problem, so any input from you guys would be welcome. I know Harry's wife is keen on numbing his cock with cream and I must admit that has crossed my mind, what a pity that it's necessary to wear a condom with that method though... personally I think perhaps the simplest thing would be to make sure that Mistress R is as wet as possible (definitely post orgasm), maybe even a little stretched with her favourite glass dildo, so that the tightness of taking her from behind doesn't push me over the edge in seconds...
As much as I don't want to put the decision on Mistress R, if she wanted us to have a break from chastity I have always said that I would be totally willing to go along with that, and I still feel that way. On the other hand I feel like we've been through all this before, and maybe Mistress R doesn't honestly feel that giving up control over my cock is worth it?

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

I love it...

I love kissing Mistress R when she's been sucking my cock, I just love that her lips and tongue taste of cock... it's so unbelievably horny! Lucky me then cos tonight I got to kiss her after she'd been sucking, slapping, biting and jerking my cock again... AND I got to make her cum again too!
Later we were in the kitchen kissing and laughing and when she bent down to get something out of a cupboard I grabbed her from behind and started 'shafting' her from behind (we were both fully dressed). Mistress R laughed and I said, "Well, that's as close as I get these days...".
"Well," she said. "If you don't want to be under my control anymore you only have to say so."
We both know THAT isn't going to happen anytime soon. I can't even remember the last time I fucked Mistress R from behind though, I mean it's got to be two years... there was one time she let me fuck her when she was on her side, but even that was ages ago. I'm not even sure I've been on top more than twice this year...
Still, I'm not complaining, I wouldn't give up the amazing teasing I got earlier this evening for anything, I was so close you wouldn't believe it, God only knows how I managed to keep the cum in my balls...

Monday, 8 October 2012

Can't stop thinking about...

I really can't stop thinking about Sunday's session... particularly when Mistress R was standing over me and really pulling her ass open for me.... wow, that was such a beautiful sight! I really hope I don't have to wait another four weeks to see or taste her gorgeous asshole again, sigh...

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Femdom Session 7th October 2012...

As those of you have been reading my blog this week may know, Mistress R and I have been on holiday  from work, and what better way to finish a week off work than with a Femdom Session?
I must admit at the start of the week I was a little sceptical, a week off work could mean too much to eat and drink and too many late nights, but I'm very happy to say that we kept ourselves somewhat more in check than usual and as such we reaped the benefits of our comparative restraint!
Incidentally, before I go any further, I would just like to say that Mistress R has just read my 'Krisproll' fantasy and found it most amusing...
Anyway...
Usually before a session Mistress R informs me what she wants me to wear by ticking boxes on a list I print out for her, the list starts with wrist and ankle cuffs, which are pretty much a given and then includes the Oxballs Cocksling, a rubber cock ring, a leather cock and ball splitter (which is pretty hopeless), my CB3000, and a buttplug if I'm not mistaken! When I compiled this list (some time ago now it must be said) I also included an option to 'Surprise Me'. I don't know how many years Mistress has been filling in this list but for some reason today was the first time she has ever ticked 'Surprise Me'.
This caught me off guard a little, as I simply wasn't expecting it... I was of course tempted to brush the dust off my CB3000, but knowing that Mistress R doesn't like it and knowing that I haven't even tried to put it on for at least a year (and not having unlimited time to fuck about with it) I decided to leave it well alone. Maybe some might see that as a lost opportunity, but I have no regrets.
I toyed with the idea of trying the irritating leather cock and ball divider, which is great until my balls slip back through the gaps and then it becomes a pointless decoration. Not wanting to resort to the Oxballs or the standard rubber cock ring (excellent though they both are) I was left with two options. Well actually, that's not strictly true... I was also toying with the idea of starting the session with my black buttplug in place, but I wasn't sure if that was within the 'remit' of the surprise me option. I guess I should have established that beforehand, but I decided it was probably better to play safe and so it came down to a metal cock ring that I haven't used for many years and the leather ball splitter I reviewed on this very site a year ago and haven't used since. I remembered the leather ball splitter being rather good and eagerly slipped it on.
The ball splitter is very sturdy and unlike the other leather cock ring/ball splitter I own you don't get the feeling that it's about break apart at any moment (which is always good!). So decision made, I waited kneeling as always for Mistress to enter the bedroom with my cuffs and the leather ball splitter in place.
When Mistress entered she noted my choice and scraped her toe nails along the underside of my very tight balls, commenting on how very tight it looked and how red and angry my cock and balls looked already. Mistress then established that I had been keeping my hands off and delivered a cursory 'reminder' punishment of nine strokes of the cat to remind me, before moving onto the bed and telling me to start worshipping her feet.
I eagerly began kissing her beautiful feet, sneaking a peek at Mistress R's beautiful pussy as I did so. Mistress noticed of course and warned me to keep my eyes only on her feet until she told me otherwise. I love worshipping Mistress R's beautiful feet and as Mistress began talking to me as her 'slave' I felt my cock harden inside the leather device. I was so fucking hard, and Mistress R was making me harder by the second, telling me how my cock and balls were hers and how she loved using my cock just like a dildo...
Soon I could hear Mistress using her real dildo to pleasure herself, and before long it was inside her. Not long after it was being offered to my lips for cleaning, which I eagerly undertook, revelling in the taste of her delicious juices.
Mistress continued her verbal teasing as I worshipped her other foot before having me lay back on the bed and securing me at each corner. As Mistress mounted my face and I greedily devoured her beautiful pussy my cock felt like it would explode at any second. I was so unbelievably hard in that thing and Mistress soon took to punishing my cock and balls with her hand and her cock whip.
When I winced as she brought the cock whip down across my balls she said, "What's the matter, is it too much?"
To which I replied "No Mistress."
"Good," she said. "Because you can tell me if it is.... only, you can't keep changing your mind about whether you want me to play with your balls or not."
God, I so loved that she said that, it was so hot hearing her using my fantasies against me.
She then spent the next ten or fifteen minutes I guess, alternating between having me lick her pussy as she sat on my face, slapping and whipping my cock and sliding just the tip of my cock inside her very wet pussy.
My cock was so red and hard that Mistress asked me several times if I needed her to remove the ball splitter but I told her it was fine. It didn't help me hold back my orgasm much though and as Mistress finally allowed me to penetrate her properly I was struggling quite bit. She looked so incredibly beautiful then, looking down at me with a somewhat amused look about her as she rode my aching, throbbing, tightly restrained cock... what I wouldn't give for a photograph of her in that moment, sigh...
Just to complete the moment, as she pulled herself off me and my dripping wet cock slipped helplessly out of her she reminded me that it was nothing more than a dildo to be used solely for her pleasure.
Oh my fucking God... so HOT!
She knelt beside me and slapped my cock and balls some more (when I am really turned on I absolutely love having my balls slapped) before standing over me and taunting me with the sight of her gorgeous pink asshole, pulling her cheeks apart so that I could get a really good look before sinking down onto my face so that I could breath in her beautiful musky scent. As you can imagine my cock could have hammered in a fence post by now, and after teasing me for a while like this she finally relented and allowed me to very briefly taste her asshole, suggesting that I might be allowed more later. Then she attached clothes pegs to my nipples and left me alone for a while, my tightly bound cock still throbbing and bobbing in the air.
When she returned she had removed her leather skirt and was naked except for her black bra and her special key pendant. She looked so sexy as she moved around the bed, I couldn't wait to taste her again and make her cum. She removed the pegs and then undid my restraints, before ordering me to remove the leather balls splitter.
Then she had me on my knees and slid onto the bed in my place, leaning back against the pillows and telling me that it was time to make her cum. I kissed my way up the insides of her silky smooth thighs (I LOVE Mistress's legs, and I especially love her inner thighs they are just so beautiful and sexy) until I came to her gorgeous pussy. I could spend hours worshipping Mistress's pussy and I cherish every single second that I get to worship it, it tastes soooooooo good.
I wasn't quite relaxed though, somehow I didn't seem to be in quite the right place and I was very concerned that I wasn't hitting the right angle and no amount of fidgeting seemed to correct it. Thankfully, it wasn't too serious a problem as Mistress came and drenched my chin with her pussy juices. It was such an erotic moment, clinging to her as she writhed on the bed, licking her until she finally pushed my head away... my face was soaked and I absolutely LOVED it!
After a few moments she got up on the bed and had me lick her juices up as they dripped down her thighs, before having me lick my fingers and the PVC sheet clean.
Then she tied me on my back again before grabbing my cock and slapping it back to full hardness. Even without the leather ball splitter my cock felt huge and it became even harder when she straddled my head and I looked up to see her pussy still absolutely dripping wet. As much as I wanted to tongue her asshole, which I assumed was what was about to happen, I simply couldn't let that pussy juice go to waste and I begged Mistress R to allow me to lick her clean.
Mistress said that she thought I would have had enough pussy juice by now, though she knows well enough that I can never had enough pussy juice. She graciously allowed me to suck her pussy clean twice as she slapped and stroked my aching cock and I wondered if she would make me choose between worshipping her ass or cumming again, but no, instead she told me that she was going to allow me to worship her ass and then sank down onto my face.
I loved every second of it, of course, and my cock was really aching now, especially since Mistress R continued to stroke and slap it as I feasted on her asshole. Then she knelt beside me again and looked down at me, teasing my cock and balls with that slightly amused smile on her face once more.
"You've pleased me today..." she said. My cock throbbed in anticipation and I licked my lips, hopeful that she might be about to allow me to cum before feeding it to me like the little cumslut I am.
"...but I'm not going to let you cum today."
I felt my back arching, pushing my cock higher as if begging for attention and crucially release.
"You can handle that, can't you?"
I didn't want to handle it, of course... I wanted her to jerk me hard and make me cum. But if it pleased Mistress to leave me horny and frustrated then that's what I truly wanted.
"Of course I can Mistress," I replied.

I love that Mistress R is so settled into her role now, I love that she seems to take amusement from my frustration and my struggling not to cum when she's riding my cock. I love that I don't have to worry about what I type on my blog now, because in the past I would sometimes be wary of typing certain things in case they made her uncomfortable with being 'mean' and denying me release. I don't feel the need to do that anymore. I love that she is getting more and more comfortable with being 'mean' and telling me that I 'can't keep changing my mind about whether she can play with my balls or not' was such a wonderful thing to hear, the fact that she's telling me it's her way or nothing is just incredibly hot. I love it when she talks to me like that, I just want her to become more and more evil, I just love it!
She looked so beautiful and sexy today and I can't imagine not being with her forever, she is absolutely everything to me, I truly adore her and I honestly hope she spends the rest of our lives together deciding when, how, where and indeed if I get to cum... and enjoying my tongue of course. Oh yes.
:)

Waking up hard and desperate...

I can't believe it's only been eight days since I was allowed to cum, it seems like weeks! Like I said yesterday, these days my 'ache' to cum returns quickly even after being allowed to cum inside Mistress R's gorgeous pussy!
Today is our Femdom session, so I am obviously even more pent up than usual, when I woke up my cock was like steel and the tip was already wet with pre-cum, and that was before I dozed off again and started (quite literally) dreaming about cumming, over and over again!
I woke up and dozed off several times before my final dream, in which Mistress R edged me repeatedly and then told me that if I really wanted to cum I'd have to 'eat it'. Not really a problem for me, especially not the way I'm feeling at the moment....
She told me to get on my knees and then produced a Krisp Roll which she placed on the floor in front of me, then she told me that I could either cum on the Krisp Roll and eat it... or wait another week, or maybe two... depending on her mood.


Without much hesitation I elected to eat the cum drizzled Krisp Roll, and Mistress told me to get myself close. She sat on the edge of the bed with her legs open, displaying her beautiful wet pussy for me, watching carefully as I stroked my poor cock.
She asked me if I was ready to cum for her, I replied that I was.
"You'd do anything for me right now, wouldn't you?"
Again I replied that I would.
She smiled an evil smile and told me to stroke my cock slower, much slower. As I slowed down my cock seemed to pulse even harder and she tormented me further by using her fingers to open her pussy and show me how wet she was.
"You'd love to be licking it out of me wouldn't you... but you can't always have what you really want, sometimes you have to prove how devoted you are instead... and that's what you are going to do right now."
I was literally seconds from erupting and I told her so. She groaned as she rubbed herself harder and then just as I started to cum she ordered me to let go of my cock and ruin my orgasm for her. I let go immediately and watched in complete frustration as my cum streamed out in a slow, steady flow all over the Krisp Roll. Mistress made me wait a good minute before she reached down and milked the rest of my cum onto the Krisp Roll and then leaned back to watch me prove myself to her.

Why can't I have dreams like that every night?
:)

Incidentally, I don't know specifically why it was a Krisp Roll, I can only assume it was because I watched an Audrey Tautou film last week (Delicacy) which featured them several times. Good film too!

Saturday, 6 October 2012

I no longer crave denial...

It's been over eighteen months now.... eighteen months since I gave complete control to Mistress R, eighteen months since I was allowed to make myself cum, to ask for penetration, or even touch my cock! The weird thing is, it seems totally normal now... which is how it should be I guess. Although I am somewhat surprised that we've never looked back, never had a break from it, never had second thoughts - either of us.
When I started this process, it never really occurred to me to think 'years' ahead... about how I would feel if Mistress R not only granted my request for orgasm control, but barred me from initiating penetration and touching my cock without permission... seemingly indefinitely!
I can tell you one thing that has changed over the last few months or so, and that is that I no longer crave denial. Oh I still want Mistress R to control my orgasms and I still want her to tease and deny me for however long pleases her, but I no longer 'crave' denial, because denial is my everyday reality.
What I crave in the morning when I wake up hard, when Mistress R sucks, bites and slaps my cock, when I'm licking Mistress R's delicious pussy and feeling my rock hard cock pressed against the mattress, and when I go to bed hard again at night, is to cum.
I don't really think male chastity really comes into it's own until you reach this point, because at first it's all about denial, I want her to tease and deny me, I want her to make me wait... and until your partner becomes comfortable or gets 'on-board' that's the overriding 'want'. But it's not until some time later, when your partner has fully embraced the experience that you can stop thinking about that, and when you do, naturally you start focusing on the one thing that you can't have without permission.
I've found that going for these eighteen months with a release approximately every fourteen days on average and with no 'breaks', that my level of 'want' returns much quicker than it did at first. Now it's only about 48hrs or so until I'm back at quite a high level of desire, and it's not until probably the 3-4 week mark that there's any significant increase or change. I imagine this is probably some sort of cumulative effect of being repeatedly put back into chastity with no 'holiday' periods, though I've never heard anyone else in a similar situation mention the same thing.
Of course, this was what I always wanted, to be 'aching' to cum but having to wait for permission, but it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't gone through the process, how long it takes to get to that actual point. Or how worthwhile it is in the long run.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Happy happy happy...

Last night Mistress R and I were relaxing in front of the TV together, she was laying back on our long sofa with her bare feet in my lap and I was massaging them as we watched TV. Suddenly she reached back over her shoulder and rang her foot worship bell (at last!). So for the next few minutes I turned towards her and lifted her gorgeous silky soft feet to my lips, looking straight at her as I sucked on her beautiful toes. She told me that it was so hot watching me do that...
After a few minutes Mistress R got up to turn off the TV and when she came to sit back down I moved onto the floor and spent another ten or so minutes making sure her feet were properly worshipped. I so wanted to move up her legs and kiss the insides of her thighs, even if she didn't let me go any further, that would've been so amazing, sigh...
Fast forward twenty four hours and Mistress R has just had another lovely orgasm. I just love it when I first move between her legs, breathing in her scent and kissing her inner thighs and then all around her pussy. I love the moment my tongue first sinks into her wet pussy and she moves against me, opening herself up to me as my cock throbs against the mattress. It's so fucking hot.
But of course even that pales in comparison to the moment when Mistress bucks against my tongue, arching her back as she cums hard and then pulls away as she becomes too sensitive. I love the taste of her beautiful pussy and I love to lick my fingers clean.... so good!
Tonight Mistress treated me to a fantastic and very intense blowjob (with generous use of her teeth on my cock), throughout which I could have cum at a moments notice, if only she had given permission. Not that I was expecting it, with our Femdom session on Sunday and still only a few days cum built up in my balls. But you never know these days, and I was really hoping she might let me shoot, because I really wanted to. But no luck I'm afraid...
Afterwards my cock stayed hard for several minutes as we lay together... you know, we've just celebrated our nineteenth wedding anniversary and we are stronger than ever... we're closer than ever, our sex life (though somewhat unconventional) is better than ever, I just couldn't really wish for anything more.

Monday, 1 October 2012

Keep up the good work...

Been out this evening, so unable to post... and now it's very late and I need to go to bed. But before I do, just thought I'd briefly blog about this afternoon's fun. Mistress R had me go down on her and right away I could tell she was really into it. She tasted so good and she came really suddenly and really hard, it was wonderful. Afterwards she told me she was on a real roll with her orgasms, having had several fantastic ones in a row... she told me I should keep up the good work!
:) :) :) :) :)
Afterwards she teased me and even though it's only been two days since I came my cock was rock hard and throbbing again already.... lovely! She gave me quite a lot of cock slaps (none to my balls, sadly) and some really amazing fingertip work that could easily have pushed me over the edge, but it was not allowed and so I ended up throbbing against her leg in the end.
Who could ask for more?.