Teasing, Mistress Marie and the sad death of H.R.Giger...

Another lovely orgasm for Mistress R tonight, followed by some wonderful teasing for me, which again left me throbbing and eager for release, but to no avail of course... Mistress stroked me really fast a couple of times and I so wanted to cum, or for her to stroke me just over the edge, and it was so frustrating when she slowed down and then left my cock twitching in the air, gently trailing her fingertips up and down my aching cock. She also seems to be getting a lot more comfortable playing with my balls, which I really love. Indeed when she applies just the right stimulation to my balls it makes my cock really, really hard. I know Mistress has always been a bit worried about hurting me, but since she's got used to the idea of slapping my balls I guess this has helped her get used to the idea. :)

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It's Mistress Marie's birthday today, I'm sure you all visit her blog anyway, but if you don't then you can find it HERE. There you can see which special panties David has decided to wear for his Mistress today, and read the birthday message he left for her earlier today. It's a shame they couldn't spend her birthday together but I'm sure they will make up for it when they next get together! Why not pay Mistress Marie a visit and wish her Happy Birthday anyway, I'm sure she will appreciate it.

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I was rather shocked to hear of the sudden death of the amazing artist H.R.GIGER today. He is most well known for his contributions to the excellent 1979 Sci-fi/Horror film 'Alien', for which he designed the 'Alien' along with all the 'Alien' scenery.

Giger is second only to Salvador Dali in my estimation, and his (often fetishistic) art made a huge impression on me when I was a teenager, initially through 'Alien' and also the cover of Celtic Frost's 1985 album 'To Mega Therion'.

Among other things, Giger had a unique way of using genitalia in his artwork, and it gained him some notoriety when the US Punk band Dead Kennedy's included a poster of his painting 'Penis Landscape' in with their 'Frankenchrist' album. I believe there was even a court case which accused the Dead Kennedy's of distributing pornography to minors.

Admittedly Giger's artwork is not for everyone, indeed many find it repulsive in the extreme, which only made it more suitable for a film like Alien I suppose.

I only recently discovered there is a HR Giger museum in Gruyeres, which is south of Lake Zurich, Switzerland. This is rather annoying as I visited Zurich a few years ago and would loved to have seen it, especially as the museum also contains artworks by Salvador Dali.

Apparently Giger died as a result of injuries sustained from a fall down some stairs, he was 74.

Mistress R threw me a bone...

Well, something good did indeed happen tonight... Mistress had a lovely orgasm on my tongue and then had me worship her feet for a while. Only then did she decide to stroke and tease my cock, but it was worth waiting for right enough! Mistress is becoming so good at knowing when to speed up and slow down without any direction from me, I don't know how she knows really. It was a wonderful teasing session, though I didn't think for a moment that I would be allowed to cum. As she sucked and stroked my aching cock and I gently stroked her asshole with my fingertip, I couldn't help but remember when she allowed me to cum on her asshole and lick it clean, I really hope I get to do that again someday.
As my teasing grew to a close I begged Mistress to allow me to worship her ass, and she permitted me just a few seconds, maybe fifteen, with my tongue pressed against her ass while she stroked my cock firmly. I really did not want it to end, but Mistress said that was all I was getting and so I held her tight, kissing and licking her breasts and grinding my cock against her stomach as I groaned in horniness and wonderful frustration.

My 'enormous' bulge...

Mistress and I have been away this weekend, in a small town in the South of England called Winchester. We stayed in a nice, old hotel which was perhaps a little over-priced but was very pleasant all the same. Before I continue this I should explain that Mistress R is punctual to the point of... why leave enough time when you can leave fifteen minutes early to be on the safe side, you know... I mean I'm punctual, I will be on time every time, but Mistress R is on a whole other level.

Anyway, Mistress had had her shower and I was reading a book, and I knew I had to have a shower and get ready to go out, but that really doesn't take all that long. So Mistress came and sat on the the bed and put her feet next to me, which obviously meant she wanted me to worship them. So, I was kissing them and my cock was just getting harder and harder and harder! I thought, I really need to ask her if I can touch my cock, because I really need to touch it right now. But I thought, you know, I'm supposed to be worshipping her feet, the correct thing to do is to wait until she tells me to stop and then ask if I can touch myself.

Usually when these things happen, the moment passes and my cock isn't quite so desperate for attention, but in this instance it was still rock hard when she pulled her feet away. But before I could get the words out she damn near jumped off the bed and said 'I'm just going to use the bathroom before you have your shower', leaving me in a very uncomfortable position, with my cock throbbing away...

When she came back I casually brought my 'enormous' bulge to her attention and she briefly stroked my balls (my balls that is NOT my cock, not even a little bit...!) through my boxer shorts, vaguely promising some proper teasing later that night, because 'we haven't got time right now'. Gallingly, after showering and getting ready I then had to kill time by reading my book again, because it was far too early to make the five minute walk to the restaurant!

The Restaurant (The Old Vine) was cracking I have to say, Mistress and I often swap puddings half way these days, it's great because the second half of a pudding is never as good really, and you get to try two instead of one. Well, it wasn't a case of 'thought I'd died and gone to Heaven' so much as 'Thought I was going to die.. I could literally feel my arteries closing'. Two of the best puddings in living memory, but both rich as hell, I knew there wasn't going to be the remotest chance of any more teasing after these. And so it proved, after an evening of rich food and alcohol we retired to the room, to sleep.

It's been a busy day today as well, but hopefully something good will happen tomorrow.

100% Not Ruined...

This morning Mistress and I went for a walk around the village where we live, on the way back Mistress suggested that we should have pussy worship sooner rather than later as she is expecting her period soon. So it came to be that this morning at about 11AM I was lying face down on our bed with my face between Mistress R's silky smooth thighs, eating her delicious pussy. She had quite a strong orgasm (it seemed to me) and then signalled for me to move up the bed and kneel between her open legs.
Mistress stroked my cock until it was nice and hard and then started rubbing it against her pussy. I started to push forward but Mistress stopped my by gripping my cock firmly, she would dictate the pace, at least for the moment. She allowed me to slide in a little more and then hotched closer to me as I lifted her legs up, kissing her feet as they passed my mouth. I gently pressed in further and Mistress pushed me back again, dropping her legs around my sides and pulling me on top of her.
"How does it feel?" She asked as I felt my cock sliding in and out of her at my pace.
What can one say, 'Amazing' hardly covers the sensation of being allowed to penetrate your Mistress's pussy after weeks if not months, and yet that was the word I used.
All too quickly Mistress wanted to turn onto her side, side that I could see her ass as I fucked her. This is particularly evil because while I love to see her ass, she knows damn well that being able to see her ass makes me want to cum! So even while seemingly gifting me the view of her ass, she was effectively shortening how long this was likely to last.
Try as I might to resist looking, it was not a battle I was ever going to win, and Mistress moaned her encouragement as I started to pound her pussy harder and faster, again shortening the time until that inevitable moment.
"I'm getting close," I said, hoping for permission to continue, but one can never be 100% sure.
"Good, I want you to cum inside me, fuck me hard until you cum inside my pussy."
Those may not have been her exact words but that was the gist of it. And that's exactly what I did.
I collapsed over her as I shot my cum hard inside her and after a few moments to recover Mistress told me to lay on my back and she quickly sat on my face, allowing me the pleasure of licking her beautiful pussy clean.
Fuck the seaside, Bank Holiday's don't get much better than that!

75% Ruined...

This last couple of weeks have been rather sucky. I've had three health issues affecting me all at once, one of which meant that Mistress could not tease my cock for almost the whole two weeks. Thankfully two of the three seem to have mostly resolved themselves and a couple of days ago Mistress was able to touch me again. She seemed quite happy to be able to play with her property again and I certainly was. It had been three weeks since I'd cum and so I kind of expected Mistress to allow me some release, and she did... although it was ruined, well, I'm counting it as ruined. I'd say it was 75% ruined, and it was certainly Mistress's intention to ruin. Let's just say she's not quite got the hang of letting go completely just yet, so the first spurt was maybe not quite ruined, but after that it was.
Of course none of these health issues have stopped me providing pleasure to my Mistress (which is also a great source of pleasure to me to of course) so thankfully we are still on target to match last year's orgasm count, so far. Last year Mistress averaged 11 per month, to my 1.6 per month so let's hope we can at least match that and maybe improve it. Now there's a target I can get on board with!

Meanwhile my weight loss has gone to shit, so that's another target I need to focus on. I reckon it's going to take me three weeks to get back to where I was a few weeks ago. I am more than a little annoyed with myself, especially after I did so well last year. So now I have to give myself a big kick up the arse and knuckle down and get back on track.

Mistress Marie's comment on my Femdom Session post...

Mistress Marie said: Another fun session to read about. Hey did you ever share the details of the new weight loss program you two are doing and what the rewards etc are?

No I didn't actually. Basically what happened was the group changed venues and the new venue was bigger and the seats there were really uncomfortable to sit on for an hour and a half. So I ended up just going to get weighed and I was fine with that, until the last week I went. I had been weighing myself at home and wasn't expecting much, maybe a pound, or half a pound off, maybe at the worst a maintain. But instead they told me I had put on four pounds and I was really pissed off. Mistress R didn't believe it either, so I thought, the only reason to go (and pay £5 a week) was because they were supposed to have really good scales that I could rely on, but that totally killed that trust I had in them. So Mistress R and I decided that instead I would put that £5 a week in a jar and we can use it to go out for dinner or something when there's enough in the pot.
So now basically Mistress R is weighing me every weekend and every time I lose 'new' weight I get to choose a treat. If you remember, last week I chose the cock whip, which was great. Unfortunately, this week I put on two pounds (we've been off work this week, although I was still expecting to maintain) so I didn't get to choose anything, and tomorrow is Mistress R's birthday so it's not looking brilliant for next week either... but still, I'm still about 2.5St (35lbs) lighter than when I first went to Slimming World and it was cool today being able to buy some cool new Oakley T-Shirts in the Oakley Vault. There's also some milestone rewards, but I'm not sure exactly what they are going to be yet, so we'll see.


Wonder if you can choose a good hard long ass fucking sometime :) That would be very hot indeed.

Yes, I've thought about that. But since I only get to choose one treat (or rather toy) at a time, I'd really rather have the glass butt plug first for a while. Maybe I need to discuss this with Mistress R to clarify...


I was thinking one night when you are done worshipping her feet, she could have you stroke while she watches and then make you ruin your own orgasm over her feet and suck them clean. Maybe making you actually do it will alleviate some of her feeling mean!

Thanks for this suggestion MM, I have read it out to her and she commented that it was an 'interesting idea'. I do love cumming on her feet (and licking them clean), and to be honest it would be easier for me to ruin myself onto her feet than for her to do it, getting my cum on her feet while she's stroking me has always been a bit tricky, lets hope Mistress follows this idea up soon!

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Not much to report since the session if I'm honest. Mistress and I were away Friday and Saturday, a concert and a shopping trip meant two very exhausting days. I'm pleased to say that I didn't neglect my foot worship duties yesterday though, and I kissed her pretty feet for quite a while as she lay on the hotel bed yesterday! Right now Mistress has a bit of a problem with one of her eyes, I hope it doesn't spoil her birthday tomorrow.

Femdom Session 10th April 2014...

For as long as I can remember I have been printing this list out for my Mistress to fill in before each of our Femdom sessions. I'm not sure if she's ever ticked the 'Surprise Me' box before, I think she maybe has but it was an awfully long time ago. So I was pretty surprised to see this this morning...

I guess because this box never really gets ticked I've never really thought about what I would do if it did, and I didn't have an awful lot of time to think about it. I guess there's a number of more adventurous things I could have done, but what I elected to do in the end was wear the Oxballs Cock Sling and insert our older (4 ball style) glass butt plug. The thinking being that I was hopeful that Mistress would take the hint and use her strap-on on me, like I've been hoping for for ages!

When Mistress came into the room she noticed that I had the Oxballs on and said 'So you chose the Oxballs to surprise me then...'. I said 'yes' but didn't give away that that wasn't the only surprise. She found out shortly afterwards when she had me bend over on all fours on the floor and saw the glass ring sticking out of my ass, and was seemingly very surprised indeed!

Actually I did have another idea, ages ago I bought this ball stretcher thing, which is just like an inch wide strip of leather with press-studs to join it together. But I can't get the damn thing on, my balls are just too damn tight!

Anyway, Mistress gave me a short and mild whipping, not really punishment, just a little reminder, before having me worship her feet while she played with her glass dildo. I had to push the butt plug back in a few times as it started to slip out, but it wasn't too bad because I didn't go overboard with the lube.

When she was satisfied with my foot worship, Mistress tied me down on the bed, blindfolded me and started stroking my cock, once I was nice and hard she straddled my face and my cock a few times before teasing me with her ass. All the time she left the butt plug in and sometimes she grabbed it and played with it while she was stroking my cock. As the session progressed she abused my cock more and more, using a hairbrush and the cock-whip and stroking it hard and fast even though it was held tight in the Oxballs (no lube either!).

Eventually she clipped pegs on my nipples and left me alone for a short while, and when she came back she took the blindfold off, straddled my face and pushed her 'cock' into my mouth. She looked so hot in those awesome RodeoH strap-on pants, they were such a good buy, I just wish we used them more often.

Mistress removed my butt plug, untied me and told me take off the Cocksling (which was starting to sting a little by now) and then told me to turn over and get up on my hands and knees. Then she positioned herself on the bed behind me. I felt her spray a good quantity of lube on my asshole and felt her feed the head of her strap-on into me. I pushed back, eager to feel it inside me at last. As I did so Mistress reached down and grabbed my cock and stroked me as she fucked me. It was so fucking hot and it felt absolutely amazing. I think if anyone wanted to try anal sex for the first time I would really recommend using a butt plug for half an hour or so beforehand, it made such a difference. I have never enjoyed it as much, or been so comfortable being fucked before...and the stroking just topped it off perfectly. It was awesome! I would have loved to have cum like that, I really would, but sadly after a few minutes Mistress pulled out. Afterwards she said to me that she felt like she could have continued for a lot longer (whereas in the past it's often been hard for me to take, even though I've wanted to do it) and I really wished it had gone on much longer, but still. Hopefully Mistress will fuck my ass again soon!

After that Mistress had me lick her to orgasm, which was unusually quick and quite intense. She tasted so good, and it had been six long days since I'd been able to enjoy her with my tongue. Afterwards she had me lick all her juices off her skin and the sheet before tying me to the bed again and stroking my cock hard and fast again. She allowed me to tongue her ass a couple of times (very briefly) and then knelt beside me, giving me a good view of her pussy and ass. She kept looking back at me, smiling as she pumped my cock. I kinda thought she was going to ruin me, but when I told her I was close she told me she was going to allow me to cum.

It hit really hard, and each spurt had me bouncing on the bed. Not only that but each time Mistress stroked me it felt so intense I was bucking so hard... and I could feel my cum spraying everywhere and landing on different parts of my skin. When I stopped cumming Mistress gathered what cum she could find and fed it to me from her fingers. Finally she lowered her dripping wet pussy onto my face one last time, she tasted incredible!

Starting a new year...

Well. Mistress and I started the new year as we mean to go on, with her having a lovely orgasm and me being teased and denied. Also I got to choose a toy to play with since I lost new weight at the weekend, I chose the cock whip which Mistress used throughout her teasing blowjob. Really, you should try having your balls whipped while your cock is being sucked, it's awesome! :)
Afterwards Mistress had me remove the nail varnish from her toes, which is a very 'subby' thing to do I believe... I doubt she would trust me to do her nails, even her toe nails, so I don't think I'll be heading to pedicure school just yet. She did have me worship her feet a little while after her orgasm though, so that was good. Now I just have to finish up the contract and we have to sign it.

Femdom Session 23rd March 2014...

If you would have asked me this morning if I wanted to cum during today's session, I probably would have said no. One day off four weeks I was really enjoying the ache and the feeling I was going to explode when I cuddled up to Mistress R in bed last night. But as we know, these things are not for me to decide and if I'd known how I was to be allowed to cum, and how spectacular it would be then I would have changed my mind for sure.
But first, of course, I had to admit to some lack of self-control during the last seven weeks (seven weeks!) and take my punishment for the same. Mistress gave me twelve very stingy lashes with the cat and then, stupidly, when she asked me if I still thought it was worth it... I said 'yes'. I mean I was already feeling submissive but that was just plain dumb! So then I had to endure a further (brief but incredibly stingy) paddling.
After this Mistress had me suck her glass dildo (although I couldn't see her because I was blindfolded) so that it was nice and wet for her pussy, and then she set me to work worshipping her beautiful feet while she teased herself with the dildo. It had been so long since I had been given the opportunity to worship her perfect feet that I was loving every second of it, and as I concentrated on that I could still hear Mistress concentrating on the feeling of her favourite glass cock stretching her pussy.
Mistress told me that she hopes our soon to come into force 'contract' will re-focus my mind on my responsibilities as per 'not touching her cock', and twice during the session commented that if it doesn't she will have to increase the severity of my punishment. I'm not quite sure I believe that she would 'whip my balls', but I loved to hear her say it whether or not there was any substance behind the threat.
With our new glass butt plug to try out, Mistress had me on the bed and pushed a small dildo into my ass to help prepare me, before having me turn over onto my back. Once restrained she mounted my face and had me lick her pussy, which was lovely of course. And then she started teasing me about how if I hadn't broken her rules I wouldn't be wearing a blindfold and would be able to see her ass that was right above my face...
This was the first time in ages that Mistress hadn't told me to wear some kind of cock ring during a session, and it seemed a bit weird to start with... not least because I am often quite nervous at the start of these sessions. Well nervous is probably not the correct word, apprehensive perhaps... and so despite the ball aching hard-ons I've been 'suffering' over the past week or so, my cock was a little bit more docile than it usually would be when assisted by the Oxballs or even a simple cock ring.
Mistress managed to get me hard though, and continued stroking, slapping and generally abusing my cock while she continued taunting me by pressing her ass into my face. Not that I'm complaining you understand!
Then she had me turn over and she removed the dildo and lubed up the new glass buttplug. I was quite shocked to notice this morning that it was actually bigger than it looked and was actually the same diameter as the black rubber one we've had for ages and hardly ever use cos it's a bit big! Indeed, I made sure to warn Mistress before the session that she needed to be careful, not least because glass may be nice and slippery but it also has no 'give'.
Mistress eased it in to start with and then pushed it in (perhaps still a bit fast if I'm honest) and it was a little painful for about a minute and then I got used to it. She had me turn back onto my back and soon had my cock nice and hard again. Then she finally removed my blindfold and continued to stand over me teasing me by pulling her ass cheeks apart and making me beg to worship her asshole. Then she pegged my nipples and left me along with the taste of her pussy fresh in my mouth (when I asked her to let me taste her before she left me alone she said no initially and then decided that I could, but only from her glass dildo).
When she came back she removed the butt plug, which was really comfortable by then actually, I would have been quite happy to leave it in a lot longer. Well I say she removed it, in fact I had to do it myself because when Mistress tried to do it her fingernails dug into me and just about caused me to jump off the bed. It fucking HURT! The thing with this new butt plug is that it has quite a small base and perhaps a narrower neck than the old rubber one, so it pulls up really tight between your cheeks. I must admit I found it a bit of a job to get hold of it myself, but with Mistress's 1/2" long fingernails it would have been pretty impossible. Still, that aside the butt-plug was a sterling success, albeit in future it's definitely going to have to be me that removes it (my arse is still a bit sore seven hours later!) and after that I knew that any chance of Mistress using the strap-on on me was a lost cause.
(It occurred to me later that, what if Mistress was single and had bought the butt plug for herself? How would she have ever have got it out? She'd probably have had to find some suitable gloves or ultimately I guess she would have had to cut her nails off to get hold of the thing.)
Thankfully, after this stressful moment I got to go down on Mistress's delicious pussy and brought her to another lovely orgasm, after which she stood on the bed in front of me and had me lick her clean of her juices, before turning my attention to the soaked PVC sheet.
Once again she secured me to the bed on my back and began stroking me once more. She seemed to be stroking me quite hard and after a bit of grovelling she allowed me to lick her ass and my cock grew really hard now. It seemed to me that she was trying to get me to the edge... perhaps she was intending to ruin my orgasm? But then she straddled me and rubbed my cock against her slit before sliding onto it and riding me for a few moments. Then it was back to hard stroking and when I told her I was getting close, she let go... only to start teasing my cock with gentle strokes which made me thing she was definitely trying to ruin me.
Then once I was away from the edge again she started stroking me fast and hard again and she told me to tell her when I was getting close. Ah-ha, I thought, so this is definitely leading to a ruined orgasm then! But no, as soon as I told her I was getting close she straddled me again and told me to cum inside her. I thrust up as hard as I could, pumping my cum into her soaking wet pussy and with perfect timing after maybe four or five huge spurts of cum had erupted from my cock she lifted off me and straddled my face. So even as my orgasm was trailing off I was swallowing a massive load of my cum from her dripping wet pussy, it was simply amazing!
As I said, if you'd asked me this morning if I wanted to cum, I would have said no. But if I'd known how incredibly hot and amazing it would prove to be, then it would have been a different story, because that really was an incredible orgasm and a perfect, horny as fuck cream pie to boot!
Looking back through my records, I can't find a single instance in the last three years where I've been allowed to cum inside my Mistress during a Femdom session, so this was indeed a very special treat for me.
After the session Mistress said she hadn't intended to let me cum, but she changed her mind. She said she felt she'd been a bit too mean to me in the session... (I can feel a comment from Mistress Marie coming here!) ...and perhaps the buttplug incident played a part too. I guess I should be disappointed, but when you have an orgasm like that (that you didn't even really want) it's kind of difficult to be disappointed.
I don't suppose I shall have another orgasm until April now, so it looks like my orgasm tally for this year will be 20 in total, which is two less than last year (although I have had six ruined ones this year on top of that). Despite today's mind-blowing orgasm and perfect cream pie, I can't help hoping that next year it's six real orgasms and at least twenty ruined ones, that would be awesome!

I can't even remember the last time she did that...

For once Mistress came to bed totally naked this evening and she looked absolutely gorgeous! I so love to be able to see her beautiful breasts, I just wish I would get to lick my cum off them sometime soon. :)
It's been 23 days for me so far this time, Mistress has had nine since the last time I came. Her ninth one was pretty intense, I love it when she comes like that, so fucking hot!
After that Mistress really wanted to tease me good, which included the extraordinarily rare treat of her using her breasts to tease my cock. I can't even remember the last time she did that. I was lying on my back and she was laying next to me and she literally placed her lovely breasts either side of my cock and used her hands to move them up and down around my cock. It was awesome, only a generous slathering of baby oil could have made it any better... or perhaps allowing me to cum all over her luscious tits and lick them clean!
Maybe soon or maybe not, she said when I told her how badly I wanted to lick my cum from her body. Two days ago I told her I thought she was right when she said she was being too generous with my orgasms... mixed messages, that's exactly why I need her to be in control and make the decisions. Still, I don't actually need to be allowed a full orgasm to be able to lick her breasts clean do I?

A few more details of the contract...

A quiet last few days here, but now that Mistress's period is finished it was lovely to be able to taste her sweet pussy again and to make her cum. Mistress then teased me really nicely as I told her how much it would turn me on to have her randomly demand ass or pussy worship from me when I am least expecting it, not even touching my cock and leaving me throbbing and aching.... :)


I have a piece of paper in front of me on which the notes for our contract have been scribbled. There's nothing greatly changed, but there has been a bit of clarification, a bit of upping the ante, and a little bit of rule tightening. The main points are these:

I must kiss Mistress's feet every day.

I am not allowed to touch my cock without permission.

I am not allowed to cum without permission.

I am not allowed to beg to be allowed to cum - ever!

I am allowed to ask permission to touch my cock, but this will be for Mistress to decide.

I am allowed to ask to be allowed to worship Mistress's ass, but this will be for her to decide.

I am to fold and present Mistress's towels for her every day.

Mistress decides how many (also, when and how) ruined and full orgasms I receive. There is no minimum or maximum number in any given week, month or year.

When we are in bed I must always refer to Mistress as 'Mistress', also when ever I am performing any act of worship or anytime that she refers to me as 'slave'. (Mistress does not wish for me to call her Mistress day to day at the present time).

Every time I am allowed to cum I am to swallow as much as possible of it.

And finally, one rule that was relaxed has now been reinstated: I am no longer allowed to ask for penetration.

This rule was originally imposed right at the very start of our chastity journey. It was relaxed in the tail end of last year, pending Mistress's review if she thought I asked too often. Mistress has decided that as I am now being granted penetration more regularly than used to be the case, allowing me to ask for penetration is no longer necessary.

We are planning to sign our contract on the 1st April, there may be some minor additions or alterations before then depending on how Mistress feels it suits our requirements.

Voucher claimed...

You may remember that Mistress R gave me a voucher for Valentine's Day which allowed me to ask to be allowed to cum, but was limited to the end of February...well, that has been on my mind today, because February is of course ticking rapidly away! My dilemma though was this...

On the one hand I felt I should use it, because it was a gift from Mistress R, but on the other hand I was starting to enjoy that feeling of denial, having just made it past three weeks. Over the last few months I seem to have been allowed to cum once every one to two weeks, with the occasional four week stretch, but nothing longer or remotely near my record (42 days in both the Summers of 2012 and 2013).

In the end though matters rather overtook any reluctance I may have had, after licking Mistress to orgasm tonight, she had me kneel between her legs and teased my cock with her hands while we kissed, before stroking the tip against her pussy and then slowly guiding me in. Mistress was still wet and silky as my cock slid inside her, and we slowly made love as I mulled over my dilemma. She kept smiling at me, almost like she was waiting for me to ask permission to cum, almost as if she knew it was only a matter of time.

So it was a little odd that she seemed almost surprised when I did finally ask permission to cum. But instead of letting me continue, she decided she wanted me to be able to see her ass I pumped my cum inside her, so she turned onto her side and told me to enjoy it, because as she told me 'I don't know when I'll be allowed to cum inside her like that again'.

It was impossible to continue for long, the sight of her gorgeous asshole and my cock sliding into her beautiful pink pussy meant that my twenty three day load was soon rising and as I started to pump her harder I knew it was going to be all over very soon. In the event it was so intense that almost as soon as I started coming I had to stay still inside her, which was kind of frustrating actually... but still. I managed a few more strokes as my cock started to soften and then we lay down to talk and bask in the afterglow.

Once again I was kinda waiting for her to tell me to lick her pussy clean, but she didn't. Then when she sat up to get out bed she commented that she could feel my cum running out of her, and I told her that she shouldn't let it go to waste. She opened her legs and I moved between them to lick her pussy a little while before she pushed me away and left me lying on the bed with the taste of our combined juices on my lips.

Some movement on the contract front it seems, Mistress is not opposed to the idea and so we will be drawing something up in the near future!

February has largely sucked...

February has rather sucked so far. True there were some good bits, but overall it's sucked. You only have to look at the stats to see that Mistress and I haven't been enjoying ourselves as much as we usually do. Five orgasms for Mistress R in over three weeks is pretty disastrous, and we are in grave danger of equalling our worst month ever (7) with only five days remaining.
Last Saturday I went to a concert with a friend who was on the verge of getting ill. By Monday night I was ill and I spent most of Tuesday in bed or asleep on the sofa. The expected cold never really developed beyond a slight sniffle and an intermittent cough, but it has left me very tired indeed. Even yesterday I went back to bed during the day and slept a couple of hours, which I never usually do.
I still haven't been feeling brilliant today, but I was determined to taste Mistress's beautiful pussy and bring to an end her eight day wait. It was a lovely orgasm and Mistress seemed a lot more relaxed after it too. I was unsure about whether I wanted any teasing since I wasn't too sure whether I would get hard (erections have been few and far between since last Monday I have to say!), but as we lay together afterwards my cock was suddenly very hard and Mistress stroked me, albeit not quite with her usual enthusiasm, but it still felt really good!
Mistress and I don't deal with disruption very well and a lack of sex always leaves us feeling a bit 'distant', so this month has sucked even more because we haven't really been rubbing along like we usually do, hopefully this coming week we can do something about that. I'm also hoping for good things on the scale on Tuesday night, maybe new weight, maybe even a certificate! But then I've thought that before and been disappointed, so we'll see.

An answer to Jim's comment...

A couple of days ago this comment was left on my blog:

I'm curious to know some things. Do you feel that you are where you thought you'd be nearly three years down the road? Your blog is called a chastity and femdom blog, yet you aren't actually in proper chastity and there isn't really that much femdom on your blog either. I'm wondering if you thought things would be a lot more advanced by now? I do like your blog and your stories are great any more coming up? Thanks, Jim

Firstly I'll address the last part. Hopefully there will be more stories Jim, if I can stop procrastinating and get on with them! As to your other questions, well...

Do I feel that I am where I thought I would be now, three years ago?

To be honest, I had no idea where this would lead...it never really occurred to me that we could still be doing this without any breaks three years later. It still kind of surprises me now, mainly because Mistress R wasn't exactly what you'd call enthusiastic about it to start with. So in all honesty I can't really answer that...

Your blog is called a chastity and Femdom blog. yet you aren't actually in proper chastity and there isn't really that much Femdom on your blog either.

I presume that by 'proper' chastity, you mean I'm not locked up in a device. And you're right I'm not, but Mistress still decides when I cum so as far as I'm concerned that is chastity all the same. I have given control of my orgasms to someone else, and while it's true that there's nothing physically stopping me cheating, you might be surprised how much harder it is than you'd think to break that promise.
To be honest, while the idea of being locked up really appeals, the reality seems so much hassle. I know there are these very expensive, very comfortable, made to measure steel products, but it seems to me that you have to really, really want to go down that route. And I wouldn't for one second try to argue that the honour system is just the same, because even I can see that it is isn't. Occasionally I might read a post somewhere else (maybe Denying Thumper) and feel a slight pang of jealousy that I'm not really getting the full blown experience, but at the same time I consider myself lucky to have had and continue to have the experience that I am having. 
Without a doubt, being physically prevented from experiencing pleasure and knowing that your key-holder literally holds the key to your cock must be something quite incredible, and if Mistress ever came around to the idea then I would be more than happy to try it, but I just don't think it's likely and I can't quite see the point in resenting it. I can understand why it would be extremely erotic for both partners, it must be an amazing rush for a woman to have the key to her lover's cock around her neck, knowing that he is horny and desperate to feel the slightest touch on his cock, but at the same time I have severe doubts about comfort and practicality. In any case, while I can see what you are saying, the fact remains that I haven't cum without Mistress's permission for nearly three years, how is that not proper chastity?

I will concede that there isn't a massive amount of Femdom on my blog. This is is one area where things haven't perhaps developed as I might have liked them to.

I'm wondering if you thought things would be a lot more advanced by now?

Again I didn't really think that far ahead. On the face of it though, if you look at last month's Femdom session and one from three years ago, they haven't changed all that much. But then we'd been doing those sessions for nearly ten years before I started the blog so we'd already worked out a lot of what worked for us and what didn't. I do sometimes wish our sessions were longer though because so many times they seem to be over before Mistress has done half the things I'd like her to do, it does frustrate me that sometimes I can go several months between using a particular toy. 
Mistress might counter that by saying that I can request any toy when I lose new weight, and that's a good point... but then it's not really the same because I will tend to chose 'nice' things, like worshipping her ass, or having her use the glass butt plug on me or letting me watch her play with her glass dildo. That's not the same as her deciding to whip me, paddle me or strap-on me simply because she wants to (and the last part of that sentence is the important part). 
I had hoped by now that we might be at a point where Mistress would feel comfortable initiating random acts of Femdom between sessions, there has been some very occasional foot worship and there has been a fair amount of ass worship (which I love, although strangely now I don't really see it as a particularly Femdom thing because I really love doing it) but very little else. But then Mistress is not a 'random' kind of person, she likes to plan and to know exactly what she's doing, which is why the fixed sessions work well for her. 
Perhaps it would behove me, now that I am getting back on track with my weight loss, to try and chose more 'Femdom' toys to play with between sessions, like the cock whip, paddle or crop. Maybe it would help her to get used to using those items away from the adrenalin rush of the structured session and lead to more 'random' Femdom in the future?

A contract would be good...

I've been thinking for some time that it would be useful for Mistress and I to have some kind of written contract. It may seem a little strange to go that route now, after nearly three years... but I do find it difficult to remember every detail and Mistress doesn't seem to always remember the rules she makes exactly either. Sometimes I think the only person who does know our rules to the letter is Mistress Marie!
I think I shall talk to Mistress R and see if I can't get a written agreement drafted, maybe it would help inspire her to think of some more rules for me too. I don't think there are that many rules really, but when Mistress instigates a new rule I often forget it has been changed or set up. I know that...

• I am not allowed to touch my cock without permission.
• Obviously I am not allowed to make myself cum.
• I may ask Mistress if I can touch my cock, and she may either give me permission to do so or will touch my cock herself.
• I am not allowed to ask Mistress for permission to cum.
• Initially I wasn't allowed to request penetration, but Mistress did relax this rule recently, albeit she said that if I used it too often she may rescind it, I can't remember if I have asked her yet or not. I try not too, since I want it to be her decision.
• Mistress can instigate teasing, penetration or any form of body worship whenever she pleases. She can also order me to tease myself for her amusement at any time. 
• Mistress can allow me to orgasm, deny me or ruin me as she sees fit.

There must be more than that, I think I need to sit down with her and get a definitive list!

Voucher...

One thing I forgot to mention in yesterday's post, was the voucher that Mistress gave me (among other things... including an art book by the astonishingly talented Laurie Lipton) which entitles me to ask to cum once before the end of February. It doesn't actually say whether she will let me or not mind you, it just says I can ask, so I presume that if I ask it will be granted? I guess it also doesn't say that she won't ruin it either...
Anyway, I was pretty much on the verge of using it yesterday. The first half of February has been pretty poor on the sex front, but we are determined to make up for lost time in the second half and so yesterday afternoon we went to bed for some fun. Mistress had a wonderful orgasm on my tongue and then had me lay down as she stroked my throbbing cock. Since on Thursday I had told her how badly I wanted to be allowed to worship her ass, she asked me if I wanted to use my final outstanding weight loss 'treat'... (which just shows you how uneventful the first half of Feb has been). I told her I did and soon she was straddling my head and my tongue was buried in her asshole as she pumped my cock hard. Then she switched around and sank down on my cock and.... did I mention she was completely naked for a change, so I could see her beautiful breasts as she rode my cock. This all went on for some time, until I was just about to ask if I could cum inside her... although she might still have got off me and jerked my cock with her hand so who knows...
But instead she went back to pumping my cock while I tongued her asshole, until I told her I was getting close.
She said, "We'd better stop then... do you want one more taste of my ass?"
I told her I did and she said, "Are you sure you can do it without cumming?"
I told her I could and she sank down on my face again and gently teased my cock as I pressed my tongue into her tight hole.
So, my voucher is still in play... and only thirteen days left to use it, maybe it will get used sooner rather than later?

Femdom Session - 2nd February 2014...

Today's session got off to a slightly uncomfortable start as I had to confess to a couple of instances of illegal touching/, which I had indulged in earlier this week after Mistress had gotten up (she gets up about an hour before I do, but gets home 1.1/2-2 hours before I do too). As you can imagine, having gone four weeks without a truly satisfying orgasm (my last one was very much borderline ruined) in recent days my cock has been rock hard in the morning, leaking pre-cum and desperate for attention. Having not been sleeping well lately hasn't helped since when Mistress gets up I can't seem to get back to sleep and so of course I am ill prepared to fight the temptation to touch my cock.

Mistress decided to give me fifteen strokes of the cat, straight off the bat. That isn't too many more than normal, but for some reason they stung a lot more. Number five in particular stung as the whip found it's way between my legs and caught my balls a treat. I winced my way through my punishment (Mistress later asked if I was hamming it up, seriously!) and was rather relieved when it was over, though Mistress didn't seem to think she'd hit me any harder than usual... hmm.

Soon I had forgotten about the pain as the Oxballs Cocksling tightened around my swelling cock. Mistress had me worshipping her feet while she lay on the bed, clad in a PVC top and skirt with only straps around her gorgeous breasts (I love that top). I could hear her dildo inside her pussy making a gorgeous noise but concentrated on worshipping her beautiful feet until I was ordered to lick her glass dildo clean for her.

After I had worshipped her other foot equally well, she had me lick and suck her dildo a second time before ordering me on to the bed on my back. She tied me to the bed and quickly sank down onto my face. She tasted wonderful, but after a few seconds she stood up and started fucking herself again. Then she was back on my face again, ordering me to push my tongue inside her, which I tried to do but she kept grinding her clit against my tongue instead.

By now my cock was rock hard and I was hoping she would slid down onto it, but sadly not. Instead she grabbed my cock and started pumping it hard, her nails digging in as she explained that she thought my cock needed to be properly punished for my misdemeanours, little did I know how true that would be by the end of the session!

Mistress abused my cock for some time, digging her nails into it and also scraping them across my tightly constricted balls. The thing is the Oxballs holds you very tight so there is very little movement in the skin, I imagine it's a bit like being circumcised, I believe circumcised men need to use lube to masturbate. Well there wasn't any lube, and there was plenty of Mistress's very long nails. On the upside I think it's the lube that reacts with the Oxballs and causes the stinging, of which there was none this time, so.... swings and roundabouts.

Mistress now decided to blindfold me and then she told me it was time for me to have something up my ass. I was expecting the new butt plug, but when I felt the cold tip of the lube coated glass dildo I was quite happy, because it feels great. It feels even better when Mistress fucks me with it while stroking my cock and that's exactly what she did next.

I was really enjoying that part of the session and wished it could have continued on longer, but alas no. Soon I felt the new vibrating butt plug being pushed into my asshole, and after deciding on a setting and attaching a couple of clothes pegs to my nipples (stronger ones than last time, because they were pointless) she left me to stew for a while.

The right clothes peg hurt more than the left one, maybe it wasn't pushed on as far, but I could definitely feel them this time. The butt plug wasn't as strong as I expected, but the thing is the vibrations acted as a reminder that it was there. Often when Mistress leaves me tied up with a butt plug inside me I almost forget about it until she takes it out, no chance of that here. At least I didn't have to worry about it causing an unauthorised eruption!

When Mistress returned she removed the pegs without a second's warning (ouch!) and then the blindfold and then untied me and told me to remove the Oxballs. I moved out of the way and she lay down on the bed and spread her legs, exposing her delicious pussy to me as she stroked my cock with her toenails. Her skirt was gone but she was still wearing the PVC top, she always looks so gorgeous like that.

I bent and laid down between her silky smooth thighs and began eating her pussy, she tasted so good and after a while her muscles tightened and tightened until she finally bucked and came hard under my tongue. I love nothing more than feeling that and it was so hot to watch as she stood up on the bed with her juices literally running down the backs of her legs as she snapped her fingers and pointed to the beads that were down by her calves already.

I greedily lapped them up before turning my attention to the soaking wet PVC sheet. There was so much pussy juice, it was wonderful. As I lapped at the sheet Mistress reached under me and started pumping my cock again. Then she ordered me onto my back and tied me down once more before standing over me, teasing me with her pussy and ass. She lowered herself down onto me and stroked me cock as I begged to lick her asshole. She gave permission and she continued pumping my cock as I tongued her tight hole. She gave me a second chance to tongue her ass before telling me that she was going to allow me to cum today, providing I could cum before she counted to ten.

Strangely, although my cock was really hard I felt a long way from the edge, a really long way.... and frankly I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to make it. Mistress was pumping my cock really hard and counting very slowly it seemed to me, she obviously wanted me to cum because each number came slower than the last one. Around about five I felt something click into place, but it wasn't until nine that I got to the edge and then erupted violently.

It was brutal, it just seemed to keep coming, like as if I'd cum once and then another one followed straight on, and all the while Mistress was pumping me so hard... it was as near as I've cum to post-orgasm torment, and being tied down all I could do was buck beneath her as she pumped out an unfeasibly large amount of cum which she then fed to me and I swallowed down. Afterwards my poor cock looked as if it had been thoroughly 'tenderized', with little nail marks all down the left side and the skin swollen and red. Not that I'm complaining you understand!

The stealth ruined orgasm...

As you probably know, since I posted about it not more than a couple of days ago, my last orgasm was kind of ruined but not ruined enough to be classed as a ruined orgasm. There was a definite refractory period that you don't get with a proper ruined orgasm, and yet... four days on and this evening I was surprisingly desperate to cum. Granted there were some mitigating factors, for example, having lost three pounds this week (total to date: 33.5lbs) and losing half a pound of new weight I was permitted to choose a treat.
Despite having been allowed the same treat a few days ago, but not at my choosing, it didn't take much thinking about to request being allowed to tongue Mistress R's gorgeous asshole again, so that will have increased the pressure for sure. And Mistress's exceptionally frustrating hand job certainly helped too of course... but I still think that semi-ruined orgasm was maybe more ruined than I thought. A stealth ruined orgasm if you will, since despite the definite but rather less pleasurable than it should have been climax, and the ensuing refractory period, it seems almost as if I was granted no relief whatsoever.
Perhaps Mistress R is better at this than she gives herself credit for? Because by the end of tonight's teasing I was humping the air in frustration, and feeling truly desperate to cum, far more desperate than a man who's only carrying a four day load should be at any rate. Needless to say, Mistress R enjoyed a lovely orgasm on my tongue all the same, taking her to a grand total of 340 since records began.
Still, thanks to Mistress Marie, there could be some possible relief on the horizon, Mistress R rather liked her suggestion that to get over her worries about ruining orgasms she should sometimes offer me the choice of whether to be ruined or left completely denied. Though whether that will actually offer any relief or whether it will just lead to more frustration is up for debate. Not that I'm complaining of course. Granted when I was humping the air and Mistress R's fingertips earlier this evening I was going crazy and wishing that I was just allowed to beg to be allowed to cum, at least then I would have some chance... maybe she would offer me some kind of deal or something? Probably not of course, but it would be nice to have that tiny sliver of hope.
Mind you, of course there's a part of me that much prefers to be kept denied, or wishes that Mistress R would ruin every orgasm she grants me, because as much as I desperately want to cum, I also want her to be mean to me and keep me in this state of constant frustration. I rather liked the comment left by an anonymous reader who suggested taking a week to repeatedly ruin me over and over so that Mistress could get used to doing it, in fact I liked that idea a lot!
Unfortunately, it's not for me to decide of course, Mistress R and Mistress R alone decides when, how and indeed if I am allowed to cum. And despite everything I may have written which suggests anything to the contrary, that's exactly how I like it. Sure I lay there fantasizing about exploding over just about every part of her gorgeous body, even though I know that anything other than cumming inside her or cumming by her hand is a rare treat indeed. I mean just check out my orgasm page, how long is it since I came in her mouth or on her feet? And how long was it since the last time?
But even tonight, even though I was riven with frustration, it was so hot that Mistress was unmoved, or more accurately I sensed it rather amused her to watch me writhe beneath her, so fucking desperate and so helpless to do anything about it. And that's why I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning, as I did this morning, with a rock hard, aching cock, leaking precum like there's no tomorrow. And I love it.

Poundage, Pink Flamingos and a Throbbing Cock...

January has started well for us, with Mistress having already enjoyed four orgasms, one every other day in fact! I can't quite believe it's only been four days since I was allowed to cum... actually when Mistress was teasing me earlier I was trying to remember when I was allowed to cum, I knew it was this year but somehow I couldn't quite believe it, what with it only being the 8th today. Having just re-read my previous post I simply cannot comprehend that that was only four days ago, I just can't! Who knows how long it's going to be until Mistress allows me to cum like that again...?
Ludicrously, in light of that fact, I almost thought Mistress was going to ruin me tonight. I haven't had a ruined orgasm since September and she got me so close tonight but no, not this time. She teased me really good tonight, that's for damn sure, and left me throbbing like hell. Probably going to be using the new vibrating butt plug next time, I'm looking forward to that, while also being a little worried that it's going to be hard to stay in control! And thinking forward to our next session, I can see trouble ahead if she leaves me alone with that thing vibrating in my ass for five or ten minutes. It has seven settings, some of which are worse than others admittedly, but some of them are pretty brutal.

On the weight front, I gained 3.5lbs over Christmas, and my first week back I lost 0.5lbs, which means I need to lose another 3lbs to get back to where I was, and a further 2lbs to get to my 2.1/2 stone certificate (that's 35lbs to our American readers).  I'm not too downhearted, it's been a very long time since I've started a year under 16 stone, probably eight or more, so while it is a little frustrating, the general trend is down, and that is the important thing. Mistress has promised to take me away somewhere when I get to three stone (42lbs) and of course, there'll be some special deviant treat for me at that juncture too! Don't know what yet, but it could be being allowed to cum in Mistress's mouth and then kissing her. Maybe? I don't really know. But it's a possibility. Perhaps a slim possibility...or not.

I decided to contact Pink Flamingo and tell them about my review of Stanley Jeffries book, I thought they might want to post a link on their website or something. I'm not sure if they have or not, but a very nice lady there offered to send me e-copies of the two books that I haven't got of Stanley's for review. After a lot of trial and error (and patience on her part, it must be said) I eventually managed to get something which works on my Nexus 7. It seems if you aren't downloading direct from Amazon, Kindle is about as user friendly as a very unfriendly thing. PDF files are pretty useless because they aren't adjustable for font sizes and the other sort didn't work in anything. Eventually I found the holy grail in epub files, which actually loaded themselves into the Google Books reader on my Nexus and seem to be working just fine. I'm about 10% into 'The Chastity Game' so far and finding it hard to put down.

While I was talking to the lady at Pink Flamingo I also enquired about the protocol for submitting a book for publication, and this has rather inspired me to get writing again. I made a lot of notes early last year for a novel I never started and I will be revisiting that shortly in an effort to start work on something suitable. Unlike Femdom Cave, Pink Flamingo require their Chastity/Femdom scenarios to be consensual, which suits me much better. I really didn't like trying to force a 'Forced Femdom/Chastity' story, because I felt like I had to tie myself in knots justifying it every step of the way and making sure there weren't any holes in the plot. Probably unnecessarily as it turned out, having seen some other examples the justification lasted all of two pages before the plots were left to drift off into the completely ridiculous.

Oh, I almost forgot, after I made Mistress cum, she let me worship her feet for a little while too. That was lovely.

My first orgasm of 2014...

Thursday night was a good night around here, Mistress R got me rock hard by rubbing my cock against her pussy, before having me lay down between her legs to make her cum. You women don't realise how uncomfortable it is to lay on a rock hard cock... but it was so worth it, Mistress came really well and I felt really happy.
Afterwards she surprised me by whipping out the glass butt plug and reminding me that she owed me a treat. Soon I was rock hard again as she sucked and teased me, while slowly introducing the well lubed plug to my ass. It always feels a little uncomfortable to start with, but after a few minutes it felt amazing, especially when Mistress fucked my ass as she stroked and sucked my aching cock.
It's always the same with anal toys, at first they are uncomfortable and then just as you really start to enjoy the sensation your Mistress decides you've had enough. I begged for the plug to be put back in and Mistress allowed me another minute or two, it felt soooooo good. But all too soon Mistress pulled it out again, and left me with a good slap to the balls for good measure.
Afterwards Mistress and I discussed the frequency of her orgasms and how after two pretty low months (nine apiece in November and December) we could try and beat her record of fourteen in January. Well, we're off to a good start at least, today Mistress had her second orgasm of the year, and it was truly top drawer stuff. From where I was laying it was definitely one of the absolute best in recent memory and after she had recovered Mistress had me move up between her legs and she guided me inside her.
Damn that felt good. Being on top and inside my Mistress's beautiful, slippery pussy... not only that but I was totally in control of my trigger too! I fucked Mistress solidly for a while but just as I started to speed up Mistress stopped me and turned on to her side, I don't know why but the different angle suddenly made it more intense and I had to tell Mistress that I was getting close. At this point she hadn't let on as to whether she was allowing me to cum or not, I'm not even sure she had remembered that I needed to ask at this point actually... !
Mistress responded to my warning by grabbing the headboard with both hands and telling me to fuck her hard and fill her with cum, and that's exactly what I did. Afterwards I was waiting to see if she would tell me to clean her, half thinking about instigating myself but really wanting her to tell me to do it. Just as I was thinking it wasn't going to happen she grabbed my arm and pulled me down between her legs and I licked her clean. There wasn't a lot of cum to be honest (at least not where I could reach with my tongue) but Mistress seemed to be enjoying the attention on her clit anyway. Later she commented on how much cum was dripping out of her, I guess it had been eleven days...