Uh-oh...

I received an email yesterday from my good friend Miss Christina the Creative Evil Pixie, I don't know what it said because it was addressed to Mistress R and I was forbidden to read it! At a guess I would imagine it said something like 'Dear Mistress R, Robert isn't anywhere near desperate enough to cum yet, I suggest another three months in chastity. Love Miss C.'
Or maybe there's more?
At least I know who to shout at after the session if I get a wreath of stinging nettles wrapped around my balls...

Three more pounds lost this week (assuming they are still gone tomorrow morning - fingers crossed) which makes me the lightest I've been since my operation five years ago. I wonder how much my balls weigh right now? They feel quite heavy and so does my cock for that matter... that's kinda weird because I'm a 'grower', soft is not impressive (whereas hard I draw impressive gasps from all who are lucky enough to bear witness..... hahaha) so it feels kind of nice to be mildly aware of my cock hanging between my legs all the time, and rest assured I am very aware! I think it has to be a good thing that I don't work in air traffic control or something, because male chastity is not terribly good for the concentration.

All being well, our Femdom session should start in about twenty six hours... leaving aside the potential for a new record, I'm massively torn between desperately wanting to cum and not wanting to give up this feeling of want... just as well then that it's not a decision I am in a position to make.

A dry May...

Finally got to sate my appetite for Mistress R's beautiful pussy tonight, I missed making her cum so much this last week. Mistress certainly came nice and hard and seemed very happy with my performance. Afterwards she checked with me if I had still managed to keep my hands off my cock and I had to confess my guilt like a good honest sub. No doubt I will pay for that on Saturday morning...
Mistress R then began sucking my cock and more than once I thought I might have gone beyond the point of no return but somehow I didn't cum. I got two rounds of cock slapping and a couple of delicious, but light, slaps to the balls too. I really am at the point now where I really want to cum, my cock-head looks a very dark shade of red, rather like it does when I've just cum... but at the same time I know if Mistress lets me cum on Saturday then I will only equal my record of thirty five days, and I'd really like to beat that.
But of course it's not up to me, so we'll see... if Mistress allows me to cum I certainly won't be complaining about a record!
Mistress is out tomorrow night so it looks 99.99999% certain that May is going to be my first ever orgasm free calendar month (my previous 35 day stretch ran over two months), which is a pretty special landmark I think.

Weight loss is still progressing in the right direction, I've now lost 15 pounds in 5 weeks, which is a solid average of three pounds per week.
:)

Fingers crossed...

Fingers crossed tonight will see our first activity in a week...! Inevitably, I cracked yesterday and gave my cock some good stroking... Mistress R hasn't touched it since last Wednesday after all, so she will have something to punish me for after all when we get to our next session.
So this is day thirty two for me since my last orgasm on April 28th. I really want to cum, but at the same time... I kinda don't. I love the fact that my cock gets hard if I even think about sex right now, kinda reminds me of when I was a teenager.
Something relevant just popped into my head... when I was about fifteen/sixteen I had science class and being a bit of an outcast from the majority of the populace (long hair, terribly overweight) I of course ended up sitting on a table with two of the hottest girls in the whole school.... no really, how the fuck did that ever happen? So for a whole year just the three of us sat on this table together, and despite what you might expect they were really nice to me, most of the prettiest girls seemed to like me actually (just not like 'that').
These girls were quite.... advanced for their years shall we say, so I spent the year listening to them discuss their sex lives and stuff, I wonder if it was partially responsible for sowing the seeds of a future cuckold fantasy, just as my first 'fucked-up' girlfriend may have been partially (but unwittingly) responsible for my interest in denial and ruined orgasms...

The best laid plans...

No Femdom session today, since Mistress R has unexpectedly started her period. Last night I spent a few minutes worshipping Mistress's beautiful feet while she lay on the sofa, and as I was sucking on her toes all I could think about was how much I wanted to shoot my 28 day load all over them (and lick it off, obviously). Needless to say my cock was pretty hard even without being touched. I did consider asking Mistress if I could touch my cock, but I decided against it in the end. As much as I wanted to I'd still rather Mistress decide when I get touched.

Open for business...

I am pleased to announce on behalf of Miss Christina that 'The Creative Evil Pixie' blog is now open once again for all to view... click here, or click the link in my blogroll.

Some ball slapping fun...

A couple of nice orgasms for Mistress R this week, tonight's in particular really seemed to hit the spot, :). Still no orgasm for me, and our Femdom session is planned for Sunday so unlikely to happen between now and then, maybe not even then... Mistress R tells me she still hasn't decided whether she's going to let me cum, I'm completely in the dark to be honest... part of me thinks she will part of me thinks that, no it's too obvious and that she'll keep me waiting until I beat my thirty five day record, which would 'only' be another week...
Today has been a really hard day at work for me, and I felt pretty whacked when I got home. After eating Mistress R's gorgeous pussy and feeling her cum against my tongue I could have probably curled up and gone to sleep but Mistress R coaxed my cock to full hardness and by the time she'd finished teasing me I was really throbbing. As I sensed she was about to call time, I asked her to slap my balls.
"Do you really want me to?" She asked.
"Yes please Mistress," I responded.
Mistress gave me about five good slaps, much harder than I was expecting actually but they felt really, really good.
"Maybe just one more?" She said.
I nodded 'yes', and she slapped my balls one more time before telling me that that was all the teasing I was getting tonight. My cock was visibly pulsing, sticking straight up in the air and I'm sure I could have willed myself to cum right then if I'd tried to... ah roll on Sunday morning, perhaps I'll get my chance?

Widescreen or not...

Ever since I got my laptop it's been bugging me that my blog is kinda stuck in the middle of the page with two massive borders down either side. I was going to change the format before but then I realised that if people have old style monitors/laptops then the page won't fit on the screen properly and they'll end up with a scroll bar. To find out if I should change the format I've added a poll in the right hand column, please vote and let me know what you think.

Mistress R in full control...

Once again Mistress R silently lulled me into believing that she was going to allow me to cum this afternoon. No sooner had I brought her to orgasm with my tongue than she was stroking and teasing my poor, denied cock again, and when she straddled me and sank down on my throbbing meat I really thought, 'Ok, this time she really is going to ride my cock and let me come inside her.... surely!'.
But no, Mistress R rode my cock for several minutes, occasionally leaning forward to kiss me, but every time I tried to lift myself up so that I could suck on her gorgeous nipples she put her hand on my chest and kept me flat on the bed. I really wanted to suck her nipples but it was hot that she kept me where SHE wanted me too...
Nearing the end, she reached behind her back and started scratching my balls as she rose and fell on my cock, that felt really amazing, though I was kinda willing her to slap them if I'm honest. The scratching went on for half a minute or more and by then I was convinced she was going to let me shoot inside her and (probably, hopefully...) she would straddle my face and have me lick her clean.
Instead she lifted herself off and lay down beside me, stroking my aching and pussy juice drenched cock and then using one finger to tease the head. For a brief second or two I clung to the hope that she was about to jerk me off, but despite a couple of minutes more teasing, by which time my cock was truly rock hard, she kissed me and told me that that was all I was getting today.
I rolled onto my side and squeezed her tight, kissing her neck and feeling my poor denied cock gently rubbing against her stomach. Twenty one days and counting then, and a Femdom session next weekend. As ever I'm conflicted about my release, part of me wants to cum while part of me hopes Mistress R keeps me waiting far beyond next weekend and even way beyond my thirty five day record...

In other news, the calorie counting is working well. Twelve pounds in four weeks, means I'm back in the 16 stone range (224-238lbs for our American readers) for only the second time in oooooh five years or so. I weighed in this morning with a five pound loss at 16St 11lbs (235lbs) after putting on two pounds last week (which I'm pretty sure is because I wasn't eating enough). The lowest I've been in 'recent' times was 16St 7lbs (231lbs) in 2007 after a three day stay in hospital, I would dearly love to break that next week or the week after.
Something is definitely different this time, I feel confident that it's going to continue. I don't really know why that is, I just seem focussed. Usually by the fourth week of a diet I've either given up or am becoming complacent and before you know it I'm heading the other way again. But that is not the case this time, I'm in the groove and more determined than I was on the first day I started. We have a family wedding in seven weeks and I see no reason why I shouldn't be in the fifteen stone range by then, I can't even remember the last time I was under sixteen stone, probably 2004...?
Having got into the sixteen's once recently I refuse to allow myself to slack off and go over that hump again, and knowing that we are going out for dinner tonight I actually spent 140minutes on the treadmill this afternoon to try to combat any negative effects that might arise from that. It was pretty cool to see the clock on the treadmill go round and back to nought again, I think I've only ever done that once before, and that was a long time ago.

Queenandknight blogspot...

Further to my comment on the lack of activity on some blogs of late, I thought I'd give an extra push to one blog which is really coming on well lately and providing a lot of interesting reading. It's already in my blog list, but if you haven't already visited I thoroughly recommend you do so.

http://queenandknight.blogspot.co.uk/

Definitely back on form...

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Inactivity...

It's kinda weird looking down my blogroll list, seeing how many people haven't posted to their blogs in a while... (and yeah I do realise that I haven't been posting as much as I used to) I know people have real lives that need attending to, but I can't help wondering if the chastity blog thing bubble is starting to deflate a little?
I hope not...

Mixed messages...

After Mistress R had read my last post, she told me that I seem to be giving her mixed messages about whether or not I want to be allowed to cum. As she pointed out, it wasn't that long ago that I was 'moaning' (not exactly) about the fact that she had allowed me to cum during our last Femdom session, and now the last two posts it sounds like I want to cum now...
Well this is the whole male chastity lifestyle in a nutshell isn't it?
Indecision, followed by more indecision...
So difficult to explain it to someone who has no desire to be frustrated and denied, and no real concept of how that would be in any way enjoyable.
Of course I love being allowed to cum, but I also love the feeling of being taken close and not allowed to take that last step, being left horny and desperate. I love how it makes me feel about my Mistress, how it makes us feel closer than 'normal' sex, how it leaves me wanting more physical contact with her, how it makes me want to worship her pussy, her ass and her feet whenever possible. I also love that my cock is harder and more reliable since we started this... money can't buy that.
The whole point of giving over control is that if it was left to me then I would fail over and over. Seriously, from emails I've received from people trying to implement self-denial, it's just not gonna happen. You might last a few days, maybe even a week or two, but more? I find that very hard to believe. The problem is when you get close your brain just rebel's and says 'What the hell are you doing... just cum, for fucks sake!'.
That's why you need someone else to decide, because you simply can't be trusted to make the right decision when you are that insane with need.
Hard to understand then how someone like me, who is not locked up for his own protection, could cope with what has now become 'normal' for us and not jerk myself off. Of course, I could, there's absolutely nothing stopping me, except my promise to Mistress R and the unknown consequences of that action. After all, if I broke Mistress R's trust once, why on earth would she want to continue this game? It would become pointless without that trust. So then you are into the area where you have to use a device to ensure that the rules are being followed, which is something that neither of us really want.
I think the key is that I know if I was that desperate, if I really couldn't take it anymore, I would just ask Mistress R to let me cum. Sure I'm not allowed to beg, as a matter of course, but if it was to the point where it was so bad that I was going to take matters into my own hands and breach her trust no matter what, then that is the better option.
Who knows what Mistress R would decide if it came to that. Perhaps she might attach some conditions, or punishment or something (we've never discussed it to be honest) I really don't know. But at least she would know that I was honest about it and it wouldn't prevent a continuation of the game afterwards.
If anyone would like to suggest any course of action for that eventuality I would be interested to hear your ideas. I thought maybe Mistress could whip or paddle me before/during/after she allowed me to cum, thereby ensuring that I wouldn't ask again unless I was absolutely desperate.... c'mon, give me some ideas, I know you guys have plenty of them!

*Incidentally, re the mixed messages thing, I simply reminded her that she really shouldn't take any notice of what I say, and that she should only let me cum when it pleased her.

An unexpected treat for me...

Lately I feel like I've been under-performing in the pussy worship department... somewhere along the way I seem to have lost the knack a little bit, trying too hard perhaps... yes Mistress R has still been having orgasms, but I'm not sure they have been as good as they should be. So this afternoon, I decided to take a step back, keep calm and rein myself in a bit. I'm happy to say this resulted in a very, very nice orgasm for Mistress R which in turn inspired her to give me a rather unexpected treat!

We lay on the bed together, kissing gently as she stroked my cock until it was nice and hard, then she told me to lay on my back and I thought she was going to straddle me and ride my cock again, but no instead I watched as she knelt at the side of me and sucked my cock. She looked so hot sucking my cock, I was already wondering if she was going to let me cum. 

She lay down beside me again and leant over my body as she stroked and teased my cock, while I rubbed my hands over her gorgeous ass. After a while she got up on her hands and knees again and I thought, okay now she's going to straddle me, and she did, but instead of sinking herself down onto my cock she switched herself round and presented her gorgeous ass to my face as she jerked my cock.

I reached up and gently parted her cheeks, her beautiful pink hole just an inch or so from my face. She was still stroking my cock firmly and I waited for her to tell me that she was going to allow me the pleasure of cumming while I licked her asshole, but no instruction came. After a minute or two of breathing in her musky scent I asked permission to lick her ass and she agreed. 

As I probed her asshole with my eager tongue she stroked my cock a little harder still and I thought, any minute now she's going to tell me she wants me to shoot for her.... but no. I maintained control while she sucked my cock again, my tongue still working her asshole, and then she dismounted and lay down beside me once again.

My cock was hard and throbbing now, and something in her body language made me think that she was just going to jerk me off hard then... she would probably make me lick my cum off her fingers, but I was more than willing to do that if she would let me cum. 

No, she leaned over my torso again and started slapping my cock, making it even harder than it already was. She continued this for a while until she finally announced that that was all the teasing I was getting for today, and we kissed deeply while my cock throbbed and ached to be touched, stroked, slapped... anything!!!!

But no, I would have to wait for another day for that, maybe many more days before I'm finally allowed to cum again... I was totally satisfied however when she told me that my pussy worship had been 'really good'. 

:)

Ambivalent no more...

Tonight was pretty amazing, it finally feels like we are getting back to normal after a couple of 'off' weeks. We started off as usual with me kneeling straddling Mistress R's legs, supporting myself on my hands as she lay back and we kissed as she stroked my hard cock. It didn't take long at all before she was pushing me down between her legs and my cock ached as I lay down on the mattress and breathed in the scent from her freshly trimmed pussy.
Mistress tasted wonderful and when she came it was sudden and quite intense. She seemed very happy with the orgasm I had given her and as soon as we were laid together she started stroking my cock, and I'm happy to say it didn't take too long to get nice and hard. She stroked it for a while, and then quite out of the blue decided to straddle me and push down on my throbbing cock.
I haven't been allowed inside her for nearly two weeks so it felt absolutely wonderful, but of course I made sure I kept myself in check, as difficult as it was. Mistress was wearing a bra, and I reached up and massaged her breasts as she rode my cock. Everything was fine until she reached into her bra and freed her gorgeous breasts, as she started using her fingers to squeeze them I felt myself getting close to the edge really quickly, but thankfully just about managed to hold off.
I thought she would allow me to cum inside her, but after a nice ride she dismounted and lay down beside me, my cock arching up from my groin, wet with her beautiful pussy juice. She slapped it six or seven times, quite gentle really, but enough to make it really throb all the same. By now I really wanted to cum and I could feel myself thrusting my hips, wordlessly trying to let her know that I really, really wanted to cum (since I'm still not allowed to 'ask').
Mistress stroked my cock some more, interspersing it with teasing light touched to my balls and perineum, leaving me absolutely desperate and aching to cum. She started stroking my cock really slowly and deliberately before telling me, "Just ten more strokes for you today, do you think you can take it?"
I told her I could, though I would have loved it even more if she would have challenged me to cum in those ten strokes...
One to four were slow and deliberate, five to seven were brisk and moderately hard, eight, nine and ten were barely felt, being infuriatingly delicate and leaving me throbbing and frustrated, just like I asked to be right back when we started. It's so nice to not have to worry about Mistress R giving in too easy, short of asking, I don't think I could have made it any clearer to her just how badly I wanted to cum tonight, and yet she paid no heed.
What an amazing woman she is, my beautiful Mistress R. I am so lucky.

Neglected...

Well, I'm feeling that this blog is getting a bit neglected lately... but the truth is that nothing much is really happening. True I made Mistress R cum on Tuesday, which was great, but since then it's been a case of life getting in the way of things. Last night Mistress came home from the dentist with the news that she needed a crown replacing, then the shower broke... so instead of going out on our date night, we were organizing a new shower and someone to fit it a.s.a.p.
I must admit that when we moved in to this house we had our bathroom refitted and I couldn't see the point of keeping a bath when neither of us ever have a bath, now it seems quite smart. Since we can't have a shower we  can at least have a bath! It's a pain in the backside, but at least we'll be clean.
I'm thirteen days into denial, and I'm still a little bit perturbed that I'm not even waking up hard. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me at the moment. I've even managed to put weight on this week (3-4lbs!!!). I don't even understand that. To put four pounds on you supposedly need to eat 14,000 excess calories (4x 3,500). Well considering I've only eaten 11,500 this week in total, I really don't see how in the hell I can have put on weight! Not to mention I've exercised six days out of seven. Truth be told I'm a little bit pissed off.
But anyway, tonight will be good, since I will be worshipping Mistress R's gorgeous pussy once again and doubtless enjoying some nice teasing, maybe I'll even get to cum! Stranger things have happened. I'm feeling quite ambivalent about the thought of cumming though, albeit that will probably change when Mistress R is slapping my cock and stroking me near to the edge.
Hmmm...

I was searching Literotica the other day when I came across a very good story. I have an email buddy who is mad for cuckolding stories and big black cocks, so I forwarded the link to him and he was blown away by it, in fact he said he hadn't actually finished it because he came by the end of the first page, and then again by the end of the second! You can't get a much better recommendation than that!
Since I know there's at least a few of you who read my blog who would appreciate it, you can read the story by clicking 'here'.

On the upswing...

This last week I haven't posted much, it's not been great. Mistress R has had her period and I've had a mouth ulcer, sciatica and bad shoulder (I fell on it about ten years ago and every so often it just 'goes'). On top of all that, I've been feeling kinda exhausted and the subsequent effect on my libido has been as annoying as it is predictable.
Last night Mistress R gave me a lovely (unfinished) blowjob, and my cock was kinda hard, but nowhere near as hard as it should have been for a man who hasn't cum in over a week. So, fatigue aside, I started wondering whether it was partly because I was dieting maybe, I Googled it and found that even very fit people can suffer a loss of libido when really cutting down their calorie intake. Strange, since all you ever hear is how dieting and getting fit will make you full of energy and ready to fuck!
Mistress R suggested I should take some Multivitamins alongside my regular dose of L'Arginine, so I picked some up on the way home.
Thankfully Mistress R was over her period and wanted me to go down on her tonight, which was absolutely lovely, but I was concerned that even then I didn't get hard. However, after I had made Mistress R cum she turned her attention to my cock and after a slightly reluctant beginning it ended up being harder than it's been all week. Still not as hard as I would like, but good enough to put my mind at ease for now. As she stroked my hard cock Mistress and I kissed really hard and intensely, it felt soooo good, even though I knew she wasn't going to let me cum.
So I don't know whether it was the Multivitamins working superfast, or whether all I really needed was to taste Mistress R's beautiful pussy! I'm guessing it was the latter, and needless to say I will be more than happy to sate my need at every available opportunity.

On the diet front, Mistress R has lost the weight she wanted to (wouldn't it be nice to get back to your target in two weeks, hell, two months would be something...) whereas I am still about 60-70lbs away from mine. Kinda sucks, but you can't expect to undo ten years bad eating in ten minutes can you?

Evil Pixie Blog...

Some of you may have tried to access Miss Christina's Evil Pixie blog from my page recently and been unable to. This is because the blog has temporarily been made 'private', Miss Christina tells me that it will be coming back just as soon as she's sorted out some issues...

Weight loss still on track...

Pretty pleased so far, I lost 4lbs the first week and 5lbs the second, giving me a total of 9lbs off in a fortnight!
Nothing much happening here at the moment, since Mistress R is on her period... she keeps talking about teasing me but no evidence of it as yet.

Twenty years...

Another orgasm for Mistress R tonight, followed by some very intense teasing for me. I still feel like I'm on day 29 and not day 3 though, which of course made the teasing even more intense! No sign of release as yet of course, but then why would there be, I've only just had one!
Mistress and I have been together twenty years today, the one anniversary we both always forget. Perhaps as well since we're both dieting and it would have been a good excuse to go out for a meal. I've lost about half a stone in the last ten days, just got to keep at it. I don't think I'll be resurrecting the weight-loss blog though, it's hard enough finding time for this one at the moment.

Sneaking in an eleventh hour orgasm for Mistress R...

Amazingly, given everything that's gone on this last month, Mistress R actually managed eleven orgasms in April which is the most since December. I told her this and how this seemed weird and she said about how in the early part of the month she was cumming every other day, I think we need to get back to that, a.s.a.p!
Last night Mistress squeezed in her eleventh of the month, right in the last hours of the day, but before that I was treated to some more penetration, and I was on top.
It's odd, some of you may recall how I mentioned how super-intense my orgasm was on Saturday, almost painful, and yet it doesn't seem to have given me the relief I anticipated. Yesterday morning I woke up with a real throbber, which I really wouldn't have expected after less than 48 hours.
So last night we started off kissing with Mistress R on her back and me kneeling between her legs as we usually do, and Mistress soon had my cock nice and hard. She started rubbing my cock against her pussy and I began to wonder if she wanted me inside her. Ideally I would have used my fingers to tease her pussy to get her wet, but I was supporting myself on my arms so it was a little awkward.
Mistress then licked her own fingers and rubbed them over the head off my cock before pulling my cock closer and pressing it against her pussy (afterwards she told me she had thought about stopping for some lube, but didn't want to break the moment). I slowly pushed my cock forward and felt it gradually force it's way inside. I was a little worried that this would be uncomfortable for Mistress R but she was clearly enjoying the intensity of the sensation of my cock forcing it's way into her tight pussy (and believe me it is very tight!).
I don't think I ever actually got all the way in, but it was enough and after a few slow strokes I gradually built up the speed until I was in a nice rhythm. Mistress was really loving it, between the relative novelty (these days) of laying back and being fucked and the intensity of the sensation, but like I said, despite my recent orgasm I don't really feel like I've been reset to zero* and the intensity was getting to me big time. I started to slow down, then continued for a few more strokes and then stopped for a few second, getting very close to the edge. I continued on, a few strokes at a time, struggling now.
"Do you need to stop... or is it already too late?" Asked Mistress R.
I continued on a little while longer, not wanting to give in, but Mistress placed her hands on my chest and pushed my back, my signal that it's time to stop. She didn't look upset that I hadn't been able to continue longer, more amused that I was struggling so hard not to cum.
After I had made her cum with my tongue we lay in bed together and she started stroking my cock again as we talked. Soon I was rock hard again and I said to her "This is so much better than cumming."
Mistress raised her eyebrows and said 'Better?'...
I confirmed that that was indeed what I had said.
"But you wouldn't never want to cum again though would you?"
I thought for a moment, as my cock throbbed even harder...
"No, possibly not." I eventually said. This last orgasm may have been a bit too intense to be pleasurable, but I'm not quite ready to give up on the idea altogether just yet. But like I said in my last post, I have to admit that these days being left denied and throbbing gives me more pleasure overall than being allowed to cum. Which is weird. Isn't it?

*Incidentally, I told Mistress R that I didn't feel like I had got the relief that I thought I would from my orgasm on Saturday, but she didn't offer to let me cum again to see if that helped... mind you, I'm quite glad about that, waiting for the 'need' to return after an orgasm always sucks.