Sometimes it’s not so easy writing a blog, it’s so easy to say the wrong thing, or tread on someone’s toes without meaning to, and of course I have to consider Mistress R’s feelings too (which is of course very, very important!). So one has to learn to phrase one’s posts in a diplomatic manner at times, even though I might be feeling a lot stronger about something than I let on (no more was this brought home to me than in my recent cuckolding discussions, which fortunately ended up with everybody being very cool, despite my sometimes slightly forthright opinions).
But this is not necessarily a bad thing. I’m sure there’s many of you out there who are a bit… impulsive, from time to time. And given the nature of the blog you are reading I’m sure there’s more than one or two of you out there who are more than a little impatient to be locked into chastity for weeks at a time. Am I right or am I right? Well, obviously I am…
But like me, I’m sure that you know only too well that sometimes it’s not always the best move to rush into things that you think you want. Some of the best decisions are made after careful consideration, experimentation and some good old fashioned ’thought’. It may also be that it simply isn’t time for that thing you want to happen yet, it might be that your significant other isn’t ready to take that step that you so desperately think you want, they may have reservations or worries that need time and care to resolve.
And sometimes it may be that once you start down the road you think you want, it might be you who wants to take it steady, while your partner might be the one who suddenly wants to run full speed ahead. I wonder how many men end up hoist by their own petard, their petard of course being that chastity belt they were so desperate to get locked into?
(It’s funny how when you start writing a post you sometimes end up writing about something completely different than when you started, this is one of those times…)
I realise of course that some of you might be thinking that I’m feeling a bit aggrieved or disappointed about the fact that Mistress R has some very strong reservations about locking my cock up, but, well, the truth is I’m not. Not really. Oh yes, the thought of being locked appeals to me, without a doubt. After all, don’t forget, I sleep beneath a canvas of Mistress R with a key around her neck! And yes I would like to experience that at some point, but as I’ve said all along, Mistress R’s happiness is more important to me than anything, and I wouldn’t want her to go along with something if it was going to make her unhappy, because that would ruin it for me anyway.
And lets not forget that we are still very new to this, and that I’ve barely managed to keep my hands off my cock for more than 48hrs at a time, even though I know I’m going to get paddled for it! So how am I going to cope with being physically unable to touch it? The truth is I don’t really know, but I think it would be fun to find out… one day, when the time is right.
I mean, let's think about this for a second. If I was going to run a marathon (not terribly likely I can assure you), would I train for nine weeks and then book myself in for the London one? Of course not, I’d do some short races and build up to it over time. Oh sure, no doubt some people would just blunder ahead, and some of them might be okay, but some of them would be the ones collapsed by the side of the road wrapped in a Bacofoil cloak (that would probably be me, by the way).
So, radical as it may be for a pro-chastity website to be espousing what might be seen as anti-chastity device propaganda, I’m sticking to my guns. I know it sometimes feels like the most important thing in the world for you (and me) to have someone else holding your key, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it a hell of a lot more if you allow your partner to get used to the idea over time and to willingly participate in your chastity, rather than feeling like she has been bullied or steamrollered into it because you won’t shut up about how much you want it RIGHT NOW!
When I read Sarah Jameson’s blog, it always surprises me when she talks about the number of emails she gets from men asking how they can get their wives to ‘lock them up’. Not asking how they can get their wives to control their orgasms or to be more dominant, but literally to ‘lock them up’. I can understand the thought process because I’ve been there myself, but surely many of them would be more successful if they started out being a little less ambitious.
I mean it’s one thing for a woman to be sat down and asked to limit the number of orgasms her partner has, that’s probably quite a shock to most women. But how much more of a shock is it going to be if you casually drop into the conversation that you want to be locked into a chastity belt that you will wear 24/7 and that she will have the only key for? Surely that’s not really the best way to do it, is it?
Besides I think that some men are seeing the device as the be-all and end-all of chastity. But it isn’t, is it? Surely the most important thing is the bond that forms between the two of you, the extra closeness that sharing in the process of male chastity generates and the powerful feelings of devotion that being kept chaste generates in the male. The device is merely a facilitator. I’m not saying it’s easy without a device, because it isn’t, but if you want something that much, shouldn’t you be prepared to work for it? Several people have said to me that having a chastity device is in some ways the easy option because you are removing the temptation. On the other hand I’m sure many would say that I’m an idiot and perhaps I should come back to them when I have worn one for a while and see how easy I think it is.
Fair enough, like I said the other day, just being in the thing for a few minutes gave me a stark insight into the difference between not be allowed to touch and not being able to touch. And believe me I can understand why people crave that feeling of utter powerlessness, because it’s a very strong emotion.
I’m not going to pretend that I don’t fantasize about being 100% under Mistress R’s control, because I obviously do, and the fact that I’ve bought another CB-3000 shows that I‘m prepared to try it (even though half my brain thinks the other half is completely crazy for wanting it!), but that is entirely dependant on Mistress R becoming comfortable with the idea.
If not then I am quite happy for her to continue to entrust me with the responsibility of ensuring that I don’t cum, because it’s more important to me that she is happy with what we are doing and that she is comfortable with the way it’s being done.
Besides I still have my own reservations about the idea, and it’s the practicalities of the thing that bother me the most. The majority of which I’m sure could be overcome with time and patience, and I’m certain there’s plenty of advice out there in the blogosphere when and if the time comes.
Funnily enough these very problems are at the forefront of my mind at present for quite different reasons. As some of you will know, I’m writing my first e-book/novel whatever you want to call it at the moment, and I’ve arrived at the point where the villain of the piece is soon to be locked into chastity. The problem is that I like my writing to be as realistic as possible, but unfortunately realism and fiction do not always happy bedfellows make. So knowing what I do about chastity devices and being pretty well read on the practicalities of starting to wear one, my problem is balancing that against a plot which pretty much demands the instant implementation of instant lock-down. It’s a tough one, but I’m sure I’ll find a solution (but in the meantime if anyone has any particularly splendid ideas, please email me). Thanks.
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