Suddenly, everything is getting very intense...

It's now been 27 days since I have come and all of sudden, the 'ache' to cum, has become a definite throbbing distraction. To be honest I expected to feel like this earlier than I have, which in a way makes me feel a little conflicted about the fact that I'm almost certainly going to be allowed to cum tomorrow, because it means that I'm going to be back to square one. But at the same time, I really, really want to cum now.
I can't quite understand why this feeling has come on so suddenly though, maybe it's psychological - because I know that there's probably less than twenty four hours to go until Mistress R gives me the most intense orgasm of my life?
Now I genuinely know what Sarah Jameson says when she says 'Men want to cum, but they crave denial'. Because right now I most definitely want to cum, but at the same time if Mistress R told me she was going to make me wait another day, another week, another month, I would willingly obey her without question, knowing that without her control I could never have lasted this long.
It's funny, all this week I've been kind of hoping that Mistress R would stop short of letting me cum tomorrow, even though deep down I'm pretty sure she has no intention of doing that. I still do kind of feel like that, but at the same time I only want her to do that if that's what she genuinely wants. This isn't making much sense (even to me), but before now I wanted her to do it because I wanted to continue in chastity, but now I want her to do it even though I really want to cum. Does that make sense? I hope so...
So, yeah, conflicted doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. I want it to continue, I want to cum, but most of all I want that decision to be Mistress R's and not mine...
I wish I could put into words how this is making me feel about my beautiful Mistress R. I know it's pretty much impossible for a woman to understand how chastity affects us, but I can honestly say that I have never felt so completely in love with her as I do now. I really can't wait for tomorrow, because I am so ready to submit to her in any way she chooses, and because I am so impatient to taste her and make her cum again. It scares me to think what I would be willing to do for her tomorrow... which is pretty much anything.