Tuesday 22 November 2011

Mistress R answers Kate's question...

On Friday, Kate left this question for Mistress R.
"I am interested to know if she thinks being in chastity has changed you and her and if so, how?"
Thanks for your question Kate. I think it has changed us somewhat, I think it has brought us even closer (we were already and have always been extremely close) and it has made Robert even more attentive towards me than he already was. I know 'chastity' is held up as some 'fix-all' for marriages, and maybe it is, but our marriage was very good anyway, so all it's really done is added a little cream on top.
At first I was a bit unsure about it (very unsure even) but as time has gone on and I've realised that this is what Robert wants I have become more relaxed about it and have found that my confidence has increased. It's hard at first to be the one 'in control' and having sex of any kind without letting your husband cum is weird to begin with, but once you get used to it you start to enjoy the power and the way he reacts when you touch him and tease him.
I like the fact that it has taken the pressure off both of us. When one person is in control it's a lot easier because this way I get to do what I want, when I want. Robert is always eager to please me when I want him to and that feeds more confidence back to me. As far as Robert goes, being in denial means that he is constantly horny and as such his cock is always hard when I want it to be. It wasn't always like that, so this is better for both of us!
This is also very empowering and gives me the confidence to initiate whatever I want, whenever I want! And because he is always eager to be touched, you will find a denied man is always ready when you are (if only all those sports-widows knew the secret...) and because you only have sex or intimacy when you are in the mood for it you will find that you enjoy it more and because he is denied he will enjoy it more too. So everyone wins.
I would also say, as far as your husband being allowed to ask for penetration, I would strongly recommend that you convince him that he should surrender that right. I don't really know why I came up with that rule (in addition to the 'not being allowed to ask for an orgasm' rule) but it was a very good idea and one I would recommend to anyone in my position. Since it's supposed to be about me (and you) and what we want, if you want him inside you then you will initiate that, otherwise the pressure remains to do it.
Of course men 'think' they know what we want, but they don't. Your husband may be surprised at how little penetration you actually desire (or maybe not, depends on how much you want I guess) and this may cause some short term problems, but hopefully if he genuinely craves your control then he will get used to it and come to accept it. He will most likely also come to appreciate it all the more if it happens less often, I know that is how Robert feels about it. He tells me that every second inside me feels amazing, what more could a woman want to hear?
I hope this answers your question Kate and good luck with your adventures.
Mistress R.

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