Monday 23 May 2011

Incredible to think...

That in the last seven weeks I have only been allowed to cum inside Mistress's beautiful pussy once!

ONCE IN SEVEN WEEKS! 
(And that was three weeks ago.)

Not that I'm complaining you understand, after all, this was what I wanted and still do want. It's just when you think about it like that, it brings it home to you just how much our lives have changed over the last couple of months. In fact, never mind cumming, in the last eight weeks I've only been allowed inside Mistress R three times, fairly briefly in the last two Femdom sessions and of course at the end of April (after which I was permitted to clean Mistress's beautiful pussy with my tongue)! Contrast that with our lives before the start of April 2011 and we were having penetrative sex probably once a week. It's a big change. The obvious question is of course 'Do I have any regrets'?
The answer is equally straightforward. No, I really don't. Sure sometimes I wish I was able to instigate penetration and cum inside Mistress R when I want to, of course I do. But the very fact that I can't means that when it does happen it's all the more pleasurable and exciting. In fact I would go as far as to say that the 'sex' we are enjoying now is much better overall than it was before, more relaxed, more exciting and more intimate in a way... it's just that the focus of it all has changed slightly and that penetrative sex has become the exception rather than the norm.
It also means that I know that when Mistress R initiates something, I know I don't have to worry whether or not she's really in the mood, which is a big plus for me. 'Initiation' can be a big sticking point in a marriage, and personally I've always believed that it's far better for the woman to decide as men are generally a lot more 'flexible' (let's say) about getting 'in the mood'.
The other thing which I have noticed in the last couple of months is how Mistress R's confidence is growing as she has come to realise just how much I worship and adore her. This also means that our Femdom sessions are getting even better too as she seems to be finding it easier to put aside some reservations that she might previously have had (you will remember the 'pegging' I commented on yesterday and she's also definitely less inclined to let me off eating all of my cum these days too). As someone who would love his Mistress to be a little bit more 'mean', 'bitchy' and 'selfish' (in the hot, 'Come here and eat my pussy NOW!' kind of way!) this is all to the good.
I can also say, as a man who is rather overweight, the wrong side of forty and who has some nerve damage following an operation, that not once in the last seven weeks have I had a problem getting hard. Which is something I'm sure we'd all agree is a very nice position to be in!
Of course, now that I've got myself into this somewhat enviable position, it's important to maintain it and ensure that it does not become a problem in itself. I feel that by Mistress R having control of everything this is least likely to happen, because she can ensure that she gets what she wants out of it too. That's why it's important that she gets to decide when I cum and when I am allowed inside her. You may remember I referred to a comment I read somewhere the other day where the male was arguing with his keyholder because she decided it was time for him to cum and he wanted to continue to be denied. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Now that woman is probably dead set against the whole thing and wishes it would just go away (and most likely is never going to come around to the idea, whatever he says).
My attitude is that I really want Mistress R to enjoy this too and by ensuring that she sees it in a positive light I think it will naturally continue and grow at it's own pace. I can't imagine that Mistress R would have thought twenty two days a reasonable amount of time to wait six months ago, and yet here we are. As ever it's patience which gets results. However, if you take the view that this is what you want and your other half is just going to have to get used to it, then I fear you a) won't enjoy it as much as you should, b) will find that your partner does everything they can to undermine it, and c) might end up causing a rift in your relationship that goes beyond sex.
As much as I love being under Mistress R's control, if she said to me 'I'm not enjoying this, I don't want to do it anymore', then as much as I would be disappointed, I know that I would rather have a happy wife than a unhappy keyholder. Similarly I'm sure it would be preferable to have a keyholder who enjoys keeping you denied for two weeks, rather than one who resents you staying chaste for ten.
After all, if she feels comfortable and happy with the situation, if she knows that she can get what she wants out of your chastity and that she has the power to bring it to it's conclusion without having to justify or explain herself to you, then surely she's in the best possible position to give you the longer periods of chastity and denial you crave eventually, isn't she?
Of course, as with anything, some people will find that their partners just flatly refuse to indulge them full stop. In which case you might decide that you need to weigh up the relationship as a whole and balance that against what YOU actually want out of YOUR life.

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