Sunday 10 April 2011

Trying not to touch...

I'm not supposed to touch my cock when I'm in chastity, and since I'm now in chastity at all times, I guess I'm not supposed to touch my cock at all. Or at least not for 'pleasure'.
Now I don't know about anyone else, but I find not touching my cock a lot harder than resisting the urge to make myself cum (at least so far anyway). I also feel very guilty about it when I do do it, and it definitely does take something away from when Mistress decides to stroke my cock for me. So obviously I do want to be good, but sometimes it's so hard. Because sometimes it's SO HARD!
I find the mornings particularly difficult, especially the mornings after I've been teased and denied. Problem is Mistress R gets up early and I usually wake up too, even though I don't need to get up for at least another half an hour. Well, half an hour in a nice warm bed with a rock solid cock, it's not rocket science is it!
Anyway, the point is, I really want to be able to train myself not to touch my cock, because like I said, if I touch it then it takes away something from when Mistress R touches it, and I don't want that at all. Thing is, I always start with good intentions, but the horniness always seems to get to me in the end. I guess the obvious solution is a chastity device, but I've tried a CB-3000 and found it to be utterly useless. Seriously, I could barely get the largest back ring on and even completely flaccid I couldn't get my cock in the stupid thing. The thing is I am a 'grower' not a 'shower', and I'm pretty average. So I really can't understand how anyone gets these things on. Also I am not circumcised so I don't see how keeping clean is going to be very easy, I mean it wouldn't be so bad if your cock was just for sex, but I gotta pee just like everyone else.
I was massively disappointed when I tried the CB-3000 on, because I would dearly love for Mistress R to be my key-holder and for me to only be able to receive pleasure when she wanted to grant it. I know there's a lot of other chastity devices out there (I read somewhere that the 'Curve' is good for men with foreskins), but they cost a lot of money and most of them seem to me like they will stick out far too much under clothing.
However, it could be that my weight is an issue here too. I am a fair bit overweight, and I could imagine that if I lost a few stone maybe there would be more 'room' for a chastity device. It's certainly a motivating thought, though I don't think Mistress R is onboard with the idea, at least not yet. I've noticed that there are a few male chastity blogs around the net that seem to have some 'weight-loss' angle. I guess it makes sense, if you truly want to honour your Mistress then you should present yourself well for her. I even read somewhere about a guy who has to earn his release and orgasms through attaining higher and higher fitness levels and weight loss. I think that's a fantastic idea actually, maybe Mistress R will adopt this at some point, it's surely a win-win for both of us.
In the meantime I guess I'll just have to try and stay focussed on behaving myself and not touching my cock. Maybe I should get up that bit earlier and go for a walk or something, perhaps I'll try that when we go back to work next week. I don't mind walking, especially when I've got some good music on my iPod, Mnemic or something equally energetic.

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