Tuesday 18 October 2011

And back to that 'permanent denial' thing...

Yesterday, was it only yesterday? Maybe it was Sunday... anway, recently I posted about the amount of people I read about who are aspiring to 'Permanent Denial' and as usual I put up some fairly forthright views and then felt like I'd been a bit harsh later.

Harry Haversackers left this comment under the original post:


Of course it's the idea that gets us going. In a few posts, Rob, you've mentioned that the fantasy of being cuckolded is a strong one for you, but you know that it isn't likely to happen*. The same applies with permanent chastity. It's a fantasy that some of us have, but if we're truthful with ourselves, we know it is just that.

(*I think you'll find I said I couldn't handle it, regardless of whether it was likely to happen or not!)

Okay, hands up, he's got a point. I don't quite know why that particular fantasy sparked me off so much, and I apologise if anyone thought I was being a surly git. Of course a huge portion of what we are doing is 'in our heads', and so what does it matter if someone dreams of never being allowed to cum again? Of course it doesn't. Even so, often it still strikes me as being similar to someone jogging to the shops and then deciding they want to run a marathon. No, actually, it's more like someone jogging to the shops and then deciding that they want to run from New York to Los Angeles.
Doubtless a lot of you follow Sarah Jameson's blog and will be aware of her thoughts on 'permanent denial' and the recent developments which have led to her starting to think seriously about signing that part of her and John's chastity contract. For those who haven't, the short version is that her husband John is nearing the end of his year of chastity after which Sarah will decide whether to return to shorter periods, another long period, or possibly even permanent orgasm denial. To this end they have purchased a strap-on for him to use on her since while he might be able to manage some penetration without exploding, it's hardly likely to last very long or to be particularly vigorous...
I can't imagine what it would be like to use a strap-on on Mistress R, it's not something I would have ever really thought about, it's always seemed like something that would only arise due to old age, or illness, or something. I guess you would get used to it, and it's got to be better than not having sex at all... and if your wife enjoys penetration but she wants to keep you chaste for long periods then it makes sense, I guess once you got used to it it would be quite fun to be able to last and last and last and give your wife as many orgasms as she could take, assuming she can cum through penetration of course...
Still, Sarah seems to be enjoying it A LOT at present, so fair play to her... and John is happy getting teased every single night by the sound of it (who wouldn't be!), so that's great for them, at least for now at any rate.
I think my main concern with permanent denial is simply that in any relationship there will be times when your libido's aren't in sync and permanent denial gives no scope for manouvre. What if your wife loses interest in teasing you for whatever reason? I can't believe that anyone who is aiming for permanent denial will not be wearing a chastity device, and if you've taken it that far, probably a very expensive metal device at that. A device to which you presumably do not have a key.
Ah you might say, but we have a contract, and Mistress is obliged to tease me at least twice a week for 20 minutes.
You see that word 'obliged', that's your problem, right there. And how long do you think that's going to wash, really? You standing there pointing to your contract, is that any way to conduct an intimate relationship? Let's say your wife/Mistress feels obliged to honour her part of the deal, just how good is that teasing actually going to be? And are you going to enjoy it, knowing that she really can't be bothered with it? I certainly couldn't. It would be utterly miserable.
And how long is that going to continue before she just gives your key and tells you she's had enough?
I'm not saying that permanent denial isn't a hot fantasy (for some people more than others) but I think it's important to keep your feet on the ground and realise that for 'most' people it's probably best kept as a fantasy, perhaps even more so than cuckolding.
As for Sarah, well she's smarter than your average cat, and she has made it perfectly clear that while she might decide to implement the part of their chastity agreement that allows her to keep John in permanent denial, if one day she decides she wants him to cum, then that's exactly what will happen.
Got to love a woman who knows her own mind, don't ya?

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