Answers to your questions (Part four)...

Q: Robert has commented several times that you deny him the sight of your breasts by wearing your bra in bed, is that deliberate? Some Domme's reserve the sight of their body for their 'lovers', do you think you might deny Robert the sight of your body more as time goes on?

Mistress R: Sometimes it's deliberate, but sometimes it's just convenience... I don't have any plans to deny him more as time goes on, I know he loves it... which is good! I suppose I could consider using it as a punishment if I thought it was necessary, it's not something I'd thought of before, but well, maybe!

Robert: I bloody hope not! And there won't be any 'lovers' either!


Q: What would you say is the best way to persuade a woman (in particular my wife) to do what you are doing with Robert?

Mistress R: Be prepared for her to reject the idea totally the first time you bring it up, just because it goes against everything she's believed in since forever! Probably a good idea is to get her to read Rob's blog to describe how we started and how much it's improved things for us, and how happy we are now. Also I would suggest that giving her stuff to read that she can look at at her own pace is better than constantly asking her about it, because I think she'll need time to digest the idea without feeling like she's being pressured into it. She'll probably also need quite a lot of reassurance that you only want to make the relationship better and that it's not a negative comment, or critiscim on how you feel about her. It's worth emphasizing the positives she will get from it and again testimonies from myself and other people in this position might well help. Overall I think she's got to come round to the idea in her own time, because it is such a big change. Again I could point you in the direction of the poll I mentioned before where only a tiny percentage of the women who voted would want to go back once they had experienced the benefits of male chastity. Good luck.

Robert: I would agree with Mistress R about giving her stuff to read in her own time, I would also suggest that you try to dissuade her from searching the internet, because it seems anytime a potential keyholder does that they end up finding all sorts of weird shit.

Mistress R (interjects): Also I would say don't jump in with anything too extreme at the beginning, because you will scare her off. Particularly chastity cages etc... better to start off with a bit of tease and denial and the honour system for short lengths of time while she gets her head round the fact that you do want to be denied.

Robert: Yeah, I think to be honest, though you might want to be locked up properly I think that's something you should work towards, get her on board with the whole T&D thing first and then bring that up later once she's got used to the idea if you still want to.
One thing I would say, is that despite the fact that I have this blog and the fact that we have a Femdom session every month, I really don't think we are all that 'kinky'. It's easy to think your wife will never go for this because she's too vanilla, and that may be true, but really, it's not like you are asking her to shove a marrow up your arse or piss on you, all she's doing is deciding when you get to cum. I strongly believe that it's all in the presentation, and my advice to you would be to describe what you want in the least 'pervy' language possible, perhaps you could reference how much you liked it when you first met and you would make out and be left hanging or something....

Mistress R (interjects again): Yes, that's a good analogy. I think one of the great things we've found is the uncertainty of not knowing each time whether each sexual encounter is going to result in an orgasm for the man or not, makes each time more exciting.

Robert: I've seen that written before about recapturing the thrill of teenage years, where you got rubbed through your jeans and had to walk home with a throbbing cock, I'd say that's pretty true, and if you use that analogy to explain to your wife then she might understand better than if you go straight for the 'I want you to lock me in this steel cage for six months' angle.


Q: Have you ever thought about having Robert fuck you with a strap-on?

Mistress R: No.

Robert: That would be difficult. Not being locked I'm going to get hard, which is then going to get in the way, isn't it? I have read about this though, about guys in chastity belts who fuck their wives with strap-on's. I guess it would be cool, since you don't have to worry about stopping yourself cumming, and your Mistress can have whatever size cock she chooses. Kind of a mixed blessing for the guy I suppose, but I guess it would be cool to try out a really huge cock!


Q: I've been reading your blog for several months now and you guys seem to have an unusual dynamic, in that you practice male chastity without a device, yet you seem to go longer than most men on the 'honor' system would. At the same time, you practice Femdom but not in a major or lifestyle way. Yet as I follow your progress I could imagine you guys gradually getting more and more into the 'lifestyle' and you controlling Robert more and more, if not quite to the point of an FLR. Do you think this is accurate, and how do you see the future panning out?

Mistress R: I'm not 100% clear what you mean, right from the start I was adamant that I didn't want a 24/7 Femdom lifestyle and since we've introduced the chastity element (which is 24/7, albeit flexible) this seems to have given us a balance that we are both happy with. I have no desire to change our relationship outside the bedroom (so to speak) and I definitely don't want an FLR.

Robert: I'm not convinced that I go much longer than most men on the honour system, that said I don't know of that many, most of the people who blog about male chastity tend to be locked. As far as the rest of it goes, while I couldn't ever see us having an FLR, it's possible that over time Mistress R could decide to increase her realm of control. After all two years ago this would have seemed ridiculous, and yet here we are.


Q: Question for Mistress R, I've never seen any mention on your blog of you having Robert masturbate for you, I regularly have my sub jerk his cock for me and make him edge over and over again until he's truly desperate to cum. Sometimes I give him something nice to look at and sometimes I am fully dressed. It's much more humiliating for him when you are dressed of course. I wonder if it is because you wish to instil in him the discipline that only your hand makes him feel pleasure, or perhaps you've just never considered the idea? If you do decide to have him masturbate for you, you can't beat making him do repeaters, that is edging, letting go for about five seconds and then edging again. I love to give him a number of times he must do this, sometimes I use a dice, or three... :) Then I let him stroke slowly for a while and then get him to do it all over again, and again! Such fun. Queen Melissa.

Mistress R: It's not something I've ever considered before, however I like the idea! So will definitely be incorporating it at some point in the future. Loving the details QM, ;).

Robert: Wow, I honestly wasn't expecting that answer from MR! I don't know what to say about that, other than that I look forward to that immensely!!!


Q: Is there anything you don't like about Male Chastity or wish was better?

Mistress R: No not really. Sorry... because it's been developing since we started it's a constantly movable feast. It's evolved as it's gone along and remains flexible depending on my wishes, so I can change anything that I'm not happy with at any time.

Robert: I think I said before the main thing is that every so often I get a little frustrated at not being able to instigate penetration, which is not necessarily to do with male chastity, but is part of 'our' agreement. And the other obvious thing is that when you are really close and you really, really want to cum you do sometimes wonder why you ever wanted this in the first place... but that's part of the whole experience and it's not really accurate to say I don't like it, as such...


Q: How do you decide when to let Robert cum and do you intend pushing him much farther in the future?

Mistress R: I don't usually plan it, it really is just down to how I feel in the moment (this is good because it keeps the whole thing spontaneous). As to pushing him further, it's hard to say, because I don't plan it, we'll just see how it goes.

Robert: I just love the uncertainty, I'd much rather go into every teasing session hoping that this will be the one rather than knowing that Mistress R has written a date three months hence on the calendar.


Q: How come Robert doesn't have a chastity belt?

Mistress R: I don't like the idea of it to be honest, just the whole inconvenience of it, the hygiene issue, I just don't like it at all. Plus, I think it's better for Rob to have to rely on his willpower and self-discipline rather than a physical restraint.

Robert: I wanted one, I really did... I loved the idea of it, and I still do. The idea of being completely at Mistress R's mercy is fucking hot after all. But if you've never tried one on then you won't understand how clunky and ungainly they really are, at least the cheaper models. It makes me laugh when I read stories where the woman ties the guy up and locks him up for a week against his will, or when you hear on a forum that some guy has just started wearing one (or his wife is making him wear one) and he's been told he's going to be locked for a month. Similarly when I saw that episode of Gigolos where one of the escort guys was locked up for several days by a customer.... I mean come on. I've tried one and it's bloody uncomfortable. You have to really want to wear it, you have to fiddle with it until it fits properly, and you have to get used to it before you can wear it long term. I know there's plenty of guys out there who do, like Thumper, and I know that once they get used to it they hate being free. I can well imagine the 'trip' of being locked and unlocked by your Mistress, I should imagine having her unlock your cock after a long period would be something quite amazing, but I simply can't imagine wearing one, not least because the one I tried made it look like I had a tennis ball down my trousers. I know there are guys that do sports or cycle in them, but I believe they are perhaps the more expensive metal ones which tend to be less bulky. My experience was that after twenty minutes I had to take it off, I guess the point is that you have to increase the wear time every day until you get used to it, but since Mistress R was so against it there really wasn't any point anyway. Besides, I love being able to get hard and feel my cock rubbing against her in bed and stuff, I love the frustration of it...


Q: When are you going to ruin one of Robert's orgasms?

Mistress R: This is something I know that Robert would quite 'like', but it's something I have so far shied away from... not sure why, maybe it just seems a step too far? Once I've done it, you'll know I'll have broken a previously immoveable barrier. Rob should be careful what he wishes for though, because who knows, once I've done it once I might I really like it!

Robert: Yes I would definitely like Mistress R to do this, I love the idea of her fully exploiting her evil pixie side and taking her hand away just before I start to cum.... I've had them before, some before I even knew what they were, courtesy of a somewhat sexless previous girlfriend, and some self inflicted out of curiosity before Mistress R took away my freedom to 'self abuse'. Physically it's interesting that you can cum and stay hard and even cum again straight away (if you really ruin it properly), and still not feel 'satisfied'. I love the idea that Mistress could let me cum but keep me firmly in that 'zone' and if she wanted to make me go a really long time without a proper orgasm then it would probably be a good idea to ruin an orgasm every so often anyway.
Well, you read what Mistress R said, so maybe she'll go for it one day. I hope she does, and I hope she does like it too, I'd really love for her to get to that next stage of evilness. I have to admit the idea of her adding that to her repertoire is really exciting, I'd love to think that in the future she might make me wait several weeks and then let go just before I start to cum and then make me clean it up with my tongue anyway...  and then do it again, just because she can!

So close, but still so far...

A really lovely orgasm for Mistress R this afternoon, which made us both very happy indeed. My cock seems to be having a rare off day today, though it eventually got hard enough for Mistress R to ride me for a while, which was lovely. She also took the opportunity to remind me that if I want any chance to taste her gorgeous ass at the next session then I need to remember to keep my hands off my cock, and reinforced the point by pressing her gorgeous ass up right up against my face (with strict instructions of course that I was not allowed to lick!), just to remind me what I'll be missing out on if I don't behave.
Actually she still pointed out to me that merely behaving myself would not guarantee getting my tongue in her ass, since that would still be up to her to decide, but touching myself without permission would do me no good whatsoever!
It's been a funny few weeks lately, and it's upset the rhythm of our lives a bit, I'm hoping that now the weather has settled down a bit and my work move is done, we can get back into a nice groove of having sex every other day again. Now that I've moved offices I'm actually just around the corner from a swimming pool, so I'm going to start swimming on Tuesday morning before work, which I haven't done for a good few years. That should help my weight loss a bit, which has pretty much stalled for the last couple of months. The only positive I can take from that though is that usually what happens is I lose half a stone in four weeks and then put it back on in the following six, whereas this time I've lost about seventeen pounds and only put back about two, so I'm still starting the next phase from a good new level.
 

More answers coming...

Mistress R and I are working on the last two parts of our answers to your questions, thanks to all of you who emailed and left questions in the comments, there wasn't that many of you but some of you left a lot of questions, so it worked out okay in the end.

Mistress R's foot worship bell is here...

Mistress R's foot worship bell arrived on Thursday, unfortunately the last two nights we've been out and it hasn't been used yet. Last night Mistress had me kneel on the bedroom floor to fasten her 'semi-slut' shoes for her since the buckle is very difficult to do up. While for me this is an act of mild submission, for her I'm sure it's really more about practicality. As I knelt I couldn't resist the chance to kiss Mistress R's beautiful foot through the gap in her shoe but was told that we 'didn't have time for that' and that I could worship them later (didn't happen).

When we got home, feeling rather full of steak and chips it must be said, I did manage to get a quick snap of Mistress's gorgeous feet, which I thought I would share with you here.

How good would those gorgeous feet look covered in twenty three days of cum? Just thinking about it makes my poor cock ache! Who wouldn't be willing to clean up every drop for the privilege? I know I would...

Always hoping...

As I was walking around a park yesterday in my lunch break yesterday, my thoughts turned to chastity, and the fact that we really have moved beyond me wanting to be denied. I can't remember the last time I 'hoped' Mistress would tease me but not let me cum, which was something I was always hoping for in the early days, now it rarely crosses my mind. It is a whole different feeling to constantly wonder when you will be allowed to cum instead of hoping you won't be allowed to, and it's perhaps worth mentioning that it can take quite a while to make that switch and for it to 'stick'. I would say it's perhaps only been in the last few months, or perhaps slightly longer that I have truly been able to accept that Mistress is 100% on board and simply get on with waiting for that elusive chance to cum.
As Mistress R commented in the last few days, the beauty of our system is that I simply have no idea when I am going to be allowed to cum. I am currently on day twenty three, my previous record is forty two days and I doubt (though I can't be sure) that Mistress would push me much more than fifty days as a next step. So all I can really say with any degree of confidence is that sometime between now and about the 24th of August I will probably be allowed to cum. And that's it. It could be a matter of hours, days or weeks, I simply have no idea. Our next Femdom session is only a fortnight away, so maybe it will be then, which would make it either thirty seven or thirty eight days depending which day we do it on, but would she really let me cum just five days away from setting a new record? Well, as Mistress R said, she doesn't feel that records are important, all that matters is that I only get to cum when she desires it, which is exactly as it should be.


I must confess that I am slightly surprised by the results of the poll so far... but I suppose the phrasing of the question was open to interpretation and one man's 'rarely' could be another man's 'sometimes'. Truly I would love to be able to have voted in one of the top two categories, but for me that particularly deep level of sub space where I would overcome any and all reservations* to please my Mistress is quite a rare treat.

*Please see my earlier post where I described what I meant by this.

Very satisfying...

I'm very happy to say that my main blog has now not only picked up from out of a bit of a slump views wise, but has already notched up more views this month than at any time in the last six months! Meanwhile the Caption Blog is going from strength to strength with well over 2000 views a day! I wonder how long it will be before the caption blog overtakes this blog in total views. A few months maybe...?

A lovely surprise...

Mistress R and I are out tonight and tomorrow night, which coupled with Mistress's period meant that I didn't anticipate being allowed to worship her gorgeous pussy until the weekend (far too long for our liking). So I was most happy when Mistress sat next to me on the sofa last night and started rubbing my cock through my shorts until it was nice and hard. She broke off from kissing me and asked how tired I was (it was too hot to sleep the previous night) and then told me that her period had ended earlier than expected so we could go to bed now before our two nights out got in the way.
Even if I had been half asleep I would still have been up the stairs faster than you can say 'pussy worship', I was already a little miffed that our prior obligations had messed up the one thing I love more than anything else, so to be surprised like this was wonderful.
Mistress had a lovely orgasm and then teased my cock beautifully, near the end she started jerking my cock fast with her nails digging hard into my cock. It hurt, but I loved it anyway. No happy ending for me of course, she never even asked how many days it has been.... 20 as it happens. God I love my wife.
Our foot bell should arrive today, I hope Mistress R uses it a lot, and I also hope that it will instil in her the knowledge that she really doesn't need to ask for any kind of worship, since I am always more than ready and willing...

iHonorHer...

I'm sure you're all familiar with Q & k's blog (here) and if not why not?
This morning Q has posted a caption with a little note urging the 'Men with submissive fantasies, to put themselves in 'k's place....' and that 'You'd do well to consider what it's really like to submit to the desires of a truly dominant woman!'.

I mention this, because it ties in rather neatly with my poll this week, in which I am asking how often (if ever) you ever get so ridiculously turned on that it almost scares you what you would consider submitting to for your Mistress. My experience with this has been well documented on this blog, though I will briefly reprise it for those that haven't read all 900 posts!
I can't remember exactly when it was, but in one of our Femdom sessions (not necessarily since the start of the blog) I was on my knees with Mistress R standing in front of me with her strap on in my mouth. My cock was rock hard and I was so deeply into the moment, Mistress R started teasing me about making me suck a real cock and asked me if I would do that for her. I said I would, and at that exact moment I honestly would have done, hell... I would have done almost anything she wanted me to.
It actually freaked me out a little bit (more than a little bit if I'm honest), and it took me a couple of days to sort it out enough in my head that I could tell Mistress R about what I had gone through that afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved it, but at the same time it pretty much scared the shit out of me that I could feel like that.
Then of course you think, well, it's not like I have to worry really, because Mistress R wouldn't make me do that anyway, and then of course there's a slightly unhinged flipside mild disappointment to knowing that too! But there has to be a comfortable balance, and even though in 'k's case he's not quite to that point yet (despite his begging) there's plenty I've read on their blog that makes me realise that Q's words are words of wisdom indeed.
Anyway, thanks to everyone who's voted already, I hope you understood what I meant by the question, because I do realise it could have been a little clearer, you can always change your vote if you feel it's necessary.
Have a good day.

Femdom Day is done for another year...

Why did it have to get so damn hot today? Really, the last thing Mistress R or I wanted to do when we got home was get dressed up and go out to eat. Thankfully, the restaurant wasn't too warm and by the time we left it was cooling down. Mistress R wore her key pendant out for the first time, which was really nice to see, but sadly she didn't wear her slutty shoes... I must admit I was a little disappointed, but Mistress said that they didn't go with her outfit, so she downgraded to the semi-slutty shoes. In some respects it was perhaps a good thing, because the gravelled car park wouldn't have done a lot for the patent leather on her properly slutty shoes, but still...

The meal was fantastic, even though we were the only people in the restaurant... that could have been awkward but we were seated at a table in an alcove so it felt cosy, better than being alone in a big restaurant! When we got home Mistress R had me remove her shoes (they look great but she can't do the straps herself), but sadly no offer was made to allow me to worship her beautiful feet.

She kissed me on the stairs and I reached under her skirt to stroke her beautifully smooth legs.

When we got home the house was quite warm, and so we crashed out with a cold drink each. I gave her a card and some jewellery and she was most pleased with my choices. In the card I told her how happy I was to live this way now, how much I love making her cum and how I hoped she would become still meaner as time goes by. Mistress R kissed me and told me how happy she is living this way too.

Not the most eventful of Femdom days, but a lovely night out with my gorgeous wife. Hopefully the foot worship bell I ordered off of eBay will arrive soon though...

Sex should never be routine...

Following a link from At All Times blogspot, I came across a rather long post on The Wife Led Husband in Chastity blog, which (as AAT said) is well worth a read. I particularly liked this part of the text...

"Sex should be a special, powerful event in your lives. It should never be done when either party is not in the mood for it or otherwise distracted. Sex should never be routine!"

This is something that Mistress R and I realized a while back, there are times when you might not be quite in the mood but you know once you start you will get into it and there are times when you just know it's a bad idea and your head and heart just aren't in it. Recognizing the difference between these two states is a very useful skill, since disappointing sex is always worse than no sex. Of course, since I've been in chastity I don't have to worry about this as much anymore, but there's still times when I don't feel quite myself and sometimes I will make Mistress cum and then tell her that I'd rather leave it at that. It is for that reason that our Femdom sessions don't always happen on schedule, but they are too precious to embark on when you're not fully engaged, so sometimes they have to wait, and it is always worth it in the end.

Click 'here' to visit At All Times blogspot.
Click 'here' to visit The Wife Led Husband in Chastity blogspot.
Click 'here' to read the whole article.

It's Femdom Day...

24/7 - Geddit?

I'm looking forward to taking Mistress R out tonight, she's going to wear her super slutty shoes and her key pendant. She's never worn her key pendant out of the house before, I know plenty of women wear them and most people wouldn't bat an eyelid, but it has meaning for us and I will enjoy sitting across the table from her and seeing it around her neck, reminding me that I am hers and my orgasms are under her control. I hope she lets me take her shoes off for her when we get home, and maybe worship her gorgeous feet for a little while afterwards (unfortunately Mistress R is on her period at the moment).

Anyone else planning anything?

New poll...

So last weeks poll has come to an end, and the results were pretty damn conclusive. I asked how penetrative sex had been affected by being in male chastity. The results indicated that 44% of you said you had 'much less' penetrative sex, 24% said 'less' and a further 20% said that they were now 'almost never' allowed it! In contrast, 10% claimed that they now had 'more' penetrative sex and 2% actually claimed that they had 'much more'. Oddly enough, not one person voted that there had been no change whatsoever...

This week I want to know if, like me there are times, odd occasions, no matter how rare, when you are so turned on you truly believe you would honestly do just about 'anything' that your Mistress/Wife/Queen asked you to do (within the boundaries of sanity, obviously). I once mentioned this to Mistress R and she looked at me like I was nuts, so I'm guessing she never has got into that state herself... to be fair this is not a regular occurrence for me either, I'm not talking 'Yeah I would do anything for you, honest', I'm talking total head spinning, can't believe I'm even thinking this but... Oh my God, ANYTHING!!! I've probably been in that headspace two or three times in the past year or so, but it definitely happens every now and then.

Answers to your questions (part three)...

Q: Dear Mistress R, I notice you have started slapping Robert's balls, something which from reading the blog from the start, I don't think you would have been comfortable with before. Are you aware of a change in your comfort zone with regard to dominating Robert and what might you start doing next to him?

Mistress R: Yes, I am aware as we carry on with this process I am becoming more comfortable with raising the intensity of the slapping etc, you might be aware that recently Rob asked me to bite his cock and although I was reluctant because I didn't want to hurt him (too much), his reaction convinced me that it could be used as part of our play. My reluctance to do these things initially is not so much because I am uncomfortable with the idea of them, but more because I am worried that if they are not done carefully I could accidentally inflict more pain than he wanted me to, and I would hate to really hurt him. As to what I might do next, I don't know exactly... but there's plenty of brambles in the garden (hahahaha). Most ideas originate from Rob so I guess it depends what stupid ideas he comes up with and which one's I'm not too horrified by to try out. :)

Robert: Absolutely, Mistress R is definitely more comfortable using her nails on my cock and slapping my cock and balls than she was a few months ago. She's also slowly getting used to the idea of squeezing my balls with her palm too, which is great. I must say that on balance, even if I sometimes wish for things to happen more quickly, I'd rather Mistress R gauged my response and increased the intensity as she became comfortable with it. I must say, I LOVE how she slaps my balls now without me having to ask her, that is really hot!!!


Q: Hi, my name is Gina, my boyfriend has been mildly submissive to me for a few months and he has asked me to control his orgasms. I have read a fair bit on the subject and just wondered what your take on the benefits was, is it just hype or do you really feel that you have benefited from this?

Mistress R: Definitely not just hype, not sure if you've read back on Robert's blog but I was quite unsure when the subject of chastity was first brought up. Mainly because it seemed to go against everything that I've always believed, however, since committing to it, Rob has certainly become even more attentive to me and even though our relationship has always been very close, it has definitely brought us even closer together. There has been a physical benefit for him, in that he is always hard when I want him to be, and he is always willing to attend to me in whatever way I want, whenever I want, and I don't feel under any pressure to do anything if I don't want to do it. What's not to like?
The hardest thing to get your head around is that your boyfriend wants you to withhold his orgasms, because we are so conditioned to believe that a man needs to cum in order to gain any satisfaction. Once you realise that denying him is what he wants, then you can make it work for you, and he will always be ready to pleasure you whenever you want him to.
A while back Robert posted a poll on his blog which asked his female readers if they would willingly give up control and revert to a 'normal' relationship, only 5% said they would. So go for it, once you get your head round it you will love it!

Robert: Well, there you go...


Q1: Hi Mistress R, after you and Bob started out with chastity have there been times when you have felt the need to go back to your old ways?
Q2. After following the chastity lifestyle do you believe that the mutual understanding and the communication between you has had any changes?
Q3. Say a couple is going through a 'sparkless' sex life, would orgasm control bring back the lost spark? What advice would you give a couple on how to go along with male chastity?
Dr Blasphemy.

Mistress R: Q1. Because our agreement is so flexible, in that we are not just going from one long period of denial to another, this gives me the freedom to do whatever I want and so I don't 'miss' anything because I can make whatever I want happen. So if I want Rob to cum inside me, or if I want to go down on him and make him cum for me, then I can. There have been some quite short periods of denial for Rob, which have come about because that's what I wanted at the time. Having said that, I have said to Rob several times that if he wanted a break from our arrangement then I would consider it, but he has never asked for that and I haven't felt the need to change it in any way.
Q2. I would say that both have improved, as it has brought us closer together and it's worth mentioning that both this blog and the notes that Rob gives me prior to each Femdom session are great ways to communicate, because sometimes it's just easier to write something down and share it that way.
Q3. It depends on the underlying reason for the sparklesness, however if part of the problem is a lack of effort in that you're not paying each other proper attention then it could help, because any change will help you focus more on the intimate time that you are spending together. It's easy to get in a rut which will have a bad affect on your relationship, whereas doing anything differently will make you focus on the effect you are having on each other. Male chastity, generally speaking, will make the man more attentive, while making the woman feel much more valued. Also, if he's willing to devote himself to her pleasure, she's less likely to feel that sex is a chore. As to how you go about it, all I can really say is be prepared for her to be confused, shocked and bewildered because you are basically contradicting everything that she has been brought up to believe. Robert might be better placed than I to answer this part of your question.
I would say though that when starting male chastity you should be careful to ensure that any constructive feedback is not interpreted as criticism.

Robert: Q1. There have been the odd moments when I've thought about it, usually when I'm incredibly horny or haven't been inside Mistress R for a while, but I've never really seriously wanted to stop. There was one time a couple of weeks ago that I briefly considered it, but that was largely because I was stressed out, tired and frustrated about Mistress R's reaction when I finally got up the nerve to ask her to bite my cock.
Q2. I think our communication has improved. We have always been an unusually close couple, but even so I feel better able to communicate with Mistress R now than I ever have before. I might not necessarily get the response I desire, but I feel more confident about putting my head above the parapet and asking for what I want. It was quite hard to ask her to bite my cock and I didn't exactly get the reaction I'd hoped for, it still took me a long time to pluck up the courage to ask, but in the end I just did it. In one of her emails recently Sarah Jameson said that if you really want something you have to ask for it, because weak people 'hint' and weakness is not attractive. I think that's pretty smart advice which you could apply that to many scenarios, whether it's male chastity, cream pies, cuckolding, femdom, or whatever.
Q3. Would male chastity reintroduce a spark into a stale relationship? What will most likely put the spark back into a relationship is making an effort, communicating, and making the other person feel wanted and cherished. If male chastity helps to achieve that then yes.


Q: How do I get my very shy wife to cuckold me? I particularly want to watch her fuck someone else in front of me.

Mistress R: Are you sure this isn't best left in fantasy land, because I have heard lots of stories about this sort of thing because they think this is what they want, and once they do it one or other of them feels so resentful or guilty that their relationship is irreparably damaged. I don't feel qualified to give you any advice about this because we have no experience of it and it's not something which we've ever wanted to do. Maybe talking to someone who has already done this would be your best bet.

Robert: Get her drunk, take her to a party and then ignore her all night. You might not get to watch but there's a good chance she'll fuck someone else... seriously though, you need to think about this extremely carefully. There are so many potential pitfalls with this that you'd both really need to be on board for this to work without ruining your relationship.
From what I've read the safest, easiest way to start heading down this route would be to maybe ask her to tell you about her previous boyfriends while you're having sex, gently let her know that the thought of her having sex with other people turns you on, I think you need to go slow and plant the seed and see where it goes. But like Mistress R said, in all honesty I can't really offer you much help with this.


And now a question from our dear friend and regular commenter Harry Haversackers now...

Q: I see that Rob has had nine orgasms so far in 2012. That's an average of roughly one every eighteen days. Do you see yourself working towards increasing the time between his orgasms? If Rob is typical, as the time between orgasms grow, he becomes more and more dedicated to serving your needs and whims. If he is providing you with the orgasmic pleasure you desire, and unless you have a propensity for seeing or feeling him ejaculate, there isn't any real need for him to orgasm at all.
Just so you know where I'm coming from, my wife CH and I are an older couple, practising chastity and denial in a non-Femdom, but otherwise kinky relationship. CH enjoys the benefits of keeping me chaste, and as a challenge, has me orgasm free until January 1, 2013 (or later). It's difficult but very rewarding for both of us. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this.

Mistress R: It's not a specific aim of mine to 'set records', and since we've started male chastity I have found that Rob is just as attentive to me whether his last orgasm was five days ago or thirty five days ago. To me one of the downsides of long term chastity is that it would prevent me enjoying the level of penetration I wanted, when I wanted it, because certain positions would make it almost impossible for him to keep up the pace I wanted without having to stop or cum. Part of what I love about our arrangement is that sometimes I just want him to fuck me hard and fast until he cums, and I wouldn't want to deny myself that for the sake of breaking a record.
I think that one of the great things about our arrangement is that whenever I play with Rob he never knows if he's going to be allowed to cum or not, and that uncertainty adds an edge to every encounter (which I really like). That said, I have become more comfortable with the idea of longer periods of chastity and I know that if I decided to extend the time between Rob's orgasms then I know he would be happy with that... but even if I did make a conscious decision towards a very long period of denial for Rob, I wouldn't give him a date or any indication of the time-scale because I would want to keep him guessing and wouldn't want to tie myself down to an arrangement I want to change later. That said, just as I wasn't sure about chastity at first, I wouldn't want to get into a rut with anything so I would keep an open mind. One of the benefits of this blog is that other contributors bring up new ideas for consideration, so thanks for yours and I hope you enjoy the next few months!
As a matter of interest Harry, how do you cope with penetration after that long a period of denial?

Robert: When we first started this I was all keen on the records and stuff, and it's still fun to beat a record (some more than others mind you!). The last time we set a chastity record (42 days) I experienced a situation about 38 days in where Mistress R was on top of me and I was so close to cumming that I couldn't enjoy the sex because it was just all about trying not to cum. Indeed it was so apparent that I was finding it so difficult that Mistress R got off and cut my teasing session short, indeed I don't think she touched me again that day. That really sucked, and it made me realise that I really didn't necessarily want to be going months if that was what was going to happen. Curiously, a couple of days later I found I was almost back to normal, as far as being able to keep myself under control was concerned, but even so, I'd rather be denied for twenty four days and be able to enjoy some good hard teasing and sex, than sixty four days and for Mistress R to only touch me for a few seconds before I have to ask her to stop.

Answers to your questions (part two)...

These questions have been submitted by our good friend Miss Christina, I hope she enjoys the answers.

Q: Since he seems to enjoy the cock and ball slapping so much, have you considered using a crop on his cock and balls? Or you could tell him he gets thirty seconds of your stroking for every ten crops he takes to the balls. They don't have to be super painful hits. I love the crop, such accuracy and while it stings, if you don't wail on him it can be enjoyable too.

Mistress R: I haven't considered it no, but having discussed it with Rob, I might in the future. I have used the 'cock whip (a small multi tailed whip) on him quite a bit and he seems to find that enjoyable. I would be worried about hurting him using a crop on his balls, but I guess it's just a question of getting the balance right between enjoyable pain and just plain hurting him.

Robert: You can always rely on Miss Christina to go putting crazy ideas into Mistress R's head can't you? I would welcome the crop on my cock (I think) but not so keen on having my nuts cropped. Knowing how hard I can take having my cock slapped versus my balls, I think it's best avoided.


Q: Have you considered having Robert wear the cock sling some outside of the bedroom? My whore has one too since it stretches the balls down so nicely and gives him a snug reminder of me. I often have him wear it during the day. It's a little reminder of me and that his cock is mine. Maybe you could have Robert wear his more often like that?

Mistress R: I know Robert used to wear the cock sling when he first bought it, but this wasn't on my instruction. Again it's not something I had thought about, but it's something I would definitely consider to make sure he's even more ready for me when I choose to play with him.

Robert: When I first bought it I did wear it every night with the idea of trying to stretch my balls, because they are very tight. I found that I could only wear it for about a half hour and then I had to take it off. That said, when we use it in our sessions I find it very comfortable for long periods and it has never felt uncomfortable. I can't quite work that out because you would think being hard would pull on my balls more not less.


Q: Another thing that can be fun is, in the evening when you two are watching TV together is make him sit there with his cock out on display for you. Think of it, your property there for you to see and inspect, him there wondering and hoping you would touch it, but you could just flat out ignore it if you wished. Have you considered that?

Mistress R: (After much laughing....) Again, not something I'd really thought of... and not sure I could take it seriously somehow. I do sometimes stroke Rob's cock through his clothes when we are watching TV together though, and if I want to 'inspect my property' then I will get it out, or have him get it out for me.

Robert: Hmmm.... I dunno, I kind of like the idea, but I'd probably just feel daft. Sorry.


Q: I once had the idea of a pussy bell. A little bell I could ring and my slave would stop whatever he was doing and provide me pussy licking. But I know you can't cum as often as I can, so maybe you could have a foot bell. I know Robert is dying to worship your feet as often as possible in the nice weather and think how hot it would be to ring a bell and whatever he was doing he would come to you and massage or kiss your feet for a few minutes. Just think how his cock would throb without you even touching it, knowing he would be summoned there at any time. Think you could try something like that?

Mistress R: Mmmm, yes I like the sound of that.

Robert: This is actually a great idea, not least because the bell sitting on the coffee table will act as a reminder to Mistress R to 'ask' me to worship her beautiful feet. I've just found a nice chrome service bell on eBay and will be ordering this immediately!

Further to my last post...

As I said earlier, the results of this week's poll show that male chastity does have a tendency to result in less penetrative sex for the male. I was going to conclude from that that it just shows that (overall) penetrative sex is far less important for the female than the male, but that wouldn't be very scientific, would it? After all, how do I know that all those voters who said that there has been a decrease in penetrative sex aren't using dildos or even strap-ons on their wives as a substitute? Or watching their wives using them on themselves... or not being allowed to watch, maybe? Not to mention the 'chastity-cuckolds' whose wives are getting plenty of cock thank you very much, just not theirs!

What is evident is that no one has voted for the 'no difference' option as yet, so opting for male chastity looks fairly sure to make some kind of difference, and more likely that'll mean less 'P.I.V.' sex, unless you're one of the lucky ones of course...

This week's poll...

Forty votes cast so far and perhaps unsurprisingly 47% of you agree that you've had 'much less' penetrative sex since beginning male chastity, and a whopping 88% of you say that there's been a decline of some sort or another. Surprisingly one voter claims that they've been enjoying 'much more' and a further four also claim 'more', but they are definitely in the minority.
Perhaps the results of this poll should serve as something of a warning to those seeking male chastity, that there may be a price to pay... whether that price is worth the pay-off is another question of course (I would argue that it absolutely is), but for someone thinking about moving towards this way of living, it's worth thinking about before you start setting the wheels in motion.

Don't forget...

Not bad for 42...

I got out of the shower and went to the bedroom to find Mistress R already in bed, as I went to lay down next to her she pointed her finger to my mouth and I tasted her pussy from her slender finger tip.
"It must be lovely to be able to touch your pussy whenever you like," I observed.
We kissed a little while before she answered, "It is, but now I want you to touch it, to lick it and make me cum!"
Well, needless to say I didn't take much persuading, especially since Mistress R had kindly taken her bra off and let me see her as nature intended. She didn't cum easy, but it was worth it in the end and soon I was on my back with her next to me, her fingernails digging unusually hard into my cock right from the off!
"Have you been touching your cock without permission this last week slave?"
"No Mistress."
"Good. Because that would make me very unhappy...."
My cock was already hard and got harder and harder as she slapped and stroked it. She soon mounted my cock and fucked me as I reached up to caress her gorgeous breasts, at one point she grabbed my hands and pushed them away...
Then she got off and lay beside me again, she started stroking my cock again, then some more slapping, and I started to really think she was going to let me cum. She had such a 'domme' face on that I thought she might even be contemplating something really mean, like a ruined orgasm.
But after more slapping, stroking and head teasing, she finally declared that I'd had my ration for today. Later she told me she loved how hard my cock was, it really was rock-hard!
Not bad for 42, huh?
:)

Well, you keep telling me you want me to be mean...

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Journal of an Obedient Boyfriend...

Every day I scan my blogroll for new posts to read (and there's just never enough to really get your teeth into is there?), there's usually a caption from Q or k, a weekend report from Miss Christina, an off the wall observation from Harry Haversackers or an interesting delve into relationship dynamics from A Queen and Her Knight. But one blog that has surprised me over the last few months is 'Journal of an Obedient Boyfriend'.
When I first read the blog I was rather sceptical, I fancied it as the work of someone with a slightly vivid imagination, but it was enjoyable enough to bookmark and revisit. Over time I've come to believe that it is real, simply because it has an air or truth about it, things in the real world never move as fast as in fantasy land, and so it is with this blog. Obviously, the writer puts his own slant on events (as we all probably do) and so perhaps his girlfriend wouldn't see things quite as he does, but that is forgivable.
It's odd really, but the main reason I mention this blog is simply that every post seems to get me hard, even though there's very little in the way of sex mentioned. It's mostly about the writer's utter devotion to his girlfriend, and most of the posts detail how he bathes her, shaves her pussy for her, does her nails, rubs body lotion all over her, etc... (all things that I can't imagine Mistress R ever wanting me to do for her incidentally).
I don't know, I just find this particular blog really rather erotic and I thoroughly recommend it!

Click HERE to visit Journal of an Obedient Boyfriend.

Femdom Session 15th July 2012

As regular readers will know, over the last few weeks I haven't exactly been on top of the world, and so while I looked forward to what I knew would be a good Femdom session, I never anticipated just how fantastic it would actually turn out to be. As a one off I decided to record the session with my little dictaphone, so that I could share with you exactly what went down last Sunday morning...

(NB: Just so you know, before the session I had already confessed to my two infractions and given some detail about them).


Mistress R instructed me to wait for her wearing my ankle and wrist cuffs, my blindfold and my rubber cock ring. On entering the room she toyed with my cock for a few moments as she checked that I had complied with all of her instructions. Satisfied that I had, she told me to move away from the bed and to get on all fours, I complied with her instructions immediately, well aware that the next little while probably wasn't going to be my favourite part of the session.

"Each time we have these sessions, I ask you (slap) some questions don't I slave... and you're always honest with me aren't you?"

Slap! The whip made contact with my ass a second time, as I knew my punishment hadn't started I presumed that I was not yet required to count the blows and thank Mistress for them. I responded positively to Mistress's question, pulling my back upwards a little as I sought to bring my balls forward of the backs of my thighs.

"So... how many times did you touch yourself when you shouldn't have done?"

"Two Mistress."

"Two... right."

Slap! Slap! The whip was brought down a further two times before she continued...

"And I understand that one of these was short, and one was long... how long are we talking slave?"

I was dreading that particular question, but I had to answer truthfully.

"Ummmm.....  about, twenty minutes Mistress."

"Twenty minutes! That is 'long' isn't it slave?"

She sounded rather surprised at my confession.

"Yes Mistress."

"And you actually dared to edge yourself during that time slave, is that correct?"

"Yes Mistress."

"How many times do you think you edged yourself slave?"

"I don't know Mistress..."

"Roughly.... two, three... more than five?"

I was somewhat thankful that she had jumped in with those options since if I'd had to estimate off my own back it would have been much higher, more like double that...

"More than five, Mistress."

"Really, more than five.... well I think you need quite a severe punishment for that slave. Right, you know the drill."

Mistress began whipping my ass now, and carried on until I had counted off and thanked her for fifteen strikes of the cat.

She paused briefly to ask me a question...

"Surely you haven't forgotten slave, how much better it is when I touch your cock?"

"No Mistress."

"Because who actually owns your cock slave?"

"You do Mistress."

"That's right, so you should not be touching it without my permission should you slave?"

"No Mistress."

"Perhaps this will help you to remember.... do you remember what number we are up to slave?"

"Fifteen Mistress."

"Good, continue..."

The whipping recommenced, with a further five strokes being added before she stopped. For someone who likes being whipped it would probably have appeared rather tame, but I do not enjoy pain, I only enjoy the submission of allowing myself to be whipped by my beautiful Mistress, so for me it was quite enough discomfort.

"That's for the twenty minutes of touching slave, and now we move on to the number of edges... begin again from one slave."

Even before the first blow I somehow knew that she'd switched to the paddle, the paddle that I suggested buying of course... it stings, I love it and hate it at the same time. Five slaps with the paddle later, she called a halt. My ass was stinging, even though I knew it would quickly fade away.

"And how did it feel when you were touching your own cock slave?"

What could I say, really?

"Good Mistress."

"It felt good did it... did it feel better than when I touch your cock slave?"

"No Mistress."

"No of course it didn't... sit up and turn and face the bed."

In my personal darkness I turned towards the bed and heard the PVC sheet crackle as Mistress mounted the bed and leaned  forward to present her favourite glass dildo to my mouth.

"Open wide slave, suck that cock."

I willingly opened my mouth and felt the cool, smooth glass against my tongue. I love to wet my Mistress's dildo for her because I know she loves it's deep ridges, the thought that she would soon be pleasuring herself with it made my cock stiffen as I fellated the glass cock.

"Since you love touching your own cock slave, so often, when you shouldn't... you should even more like licking and sucking this cock."

My cock continued to harden as I worked to ensure the dildo was well lubricated for Mistress's beautiful pussy.

"Because this cock will be going where you always want to have your own cock slave, isn't that right?"

I briefly pulled my head off the dildo to answer.

"Yes Mistress."

The dildo was pulled away and she shifted on the bed.

"Right slave, now I'm going to allow you to worship my feet."

"Thank you Mistress."

I felt her foot press against my chest and I wished I wasn't blindfolded so I could see her beautiful, soft feet.

"You may begin....while I will be rubbing this dildo, all around my beautiful pussy...exactly where you would like to have your cock, wouldn't you slave?"

"Yes Mistress."

I set to work on her right foot, peppering it with gentle kisses before sucking her toes into my mouth, I absolutely adore sucking Mistress's toes, they are so delicate and sexy.

"Well, I'm only going to have a cock inside my pussy that I am in control of.... you're not in control slave, and you don't want to be, do you?"

"No Mistress."

"You can't see this now slave, but this dildo is rubbing all around my beautiful lips... and just... just inside... starting to get coated with that beautiful pussy juice... you love the taste of pussy juice don't you slave?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Whatever is covered in pussy juice should have to be licked clean by you, isn't that right slave?"

"If it pleases you Mistress."

"If you listen carefully you can hear the sound of my dildo moving in.. and out... you love that sound don't you slave, you wish it was your cock making that sound don't you?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Then you must learn to control yourself better slave, you were doing so well, and I'm sure you will do well again. You must remember, I'm in control, I own your cock, I say when you can touch it, you know you can ask me for permission slave... but you failed to do so didn't you?"

I barely stopped to answer her, I was so deep in sub space now, all my worries and stress completely forgotten in less than ten minutes...

"Stop, open wide, lick this dildo clean slave..."

I opened my mouth and used my tongue to lick her juices off the entire length of the glass dildo as she twizzled it around, then she pushed it into my mouth and I sucked it greedily, willingly, just as if I was sucking a cock for her amusement. After a short time she pulled the dildo out of my mouth and I resumed my duties as her foot slave.

"You think it's more fun to do something without permission don't you slave, you know sometimes I might actually want to see you touching that cock, so you must ask me if you want to, understand slave?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Good....that will please me much more slave. After all, if you are wanting to touch your cock, it should only be with my permission and I should be able to see it. Who knows, I might decide that you're not touching it as I want you to, and stop you and do something different myself. But whatever it is, it's going to be better than the way you touch yourself isn't it slave, furtively, without permission?"

"Yes Mistress."

"You love worshipping my feet don't you slave?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Just being allowed to kneel there and worship my beautiful feet... knowing that I'm laying here, playing with my beautiful pussy, and getting this cock covered in my beautiful pussy juice, and you can't even see it can you... but you can smell it can't you? You can scent that... you love that scent don't you slave..."

"Stop now slave, and lick this clean again..."

Once more I licked and sucked on the glass dildo as she hovered over me.

"Maybe one day it will be a real cock covered in your Mistress's pussy juice slave, you'd lick that clean if you were told to wouldn't you, if you knew it would please your Mistress..."


My cock pulsed as she spoke, though I doubt we would ever involve another person in our sex-life, just hearing her say those words always has a considerable effect on me.


"Yes Mistress," I groaned.

"Onto the other foot slave..."

I lovingly took hold of her left foot and began lavishing it with attention, just as I had the right one before it.

"Do you think a lot about these sessions, in between them slave... think about how lovely it is for you to have your Mistress totally in control... deciding, if I want to, to keep you on your knees for the whole session worshipping my feet, not letting you near my pussy, as a punishment... you'd even welcome that wouldn't you slave."

"Whatever pleases you Mistress."

"That's right..."

She allowed me a little while to concentrate on her gorgeous foot, my tongue swirling around her pretty, red polished toes.

"So when you're touching your own cock slave, tell me about it, do you do it hard, or soft..."

I struggled for an answer, so deep was I in my reverie.

"Both Mistress."

"Both... and does it feel as good as when I am touching it slave?"

"No Mistress."

"No, that's what you have to learn to remember slave don't you? The only time you should be touching that cock slave, is for my amusement, if I tell you to do so. Do you understand?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Otherwise I am the only one who should be touching it, I control your cock. Who controls your cock slave?"

"You do Mistress."

"Who controls your balls?"

"You do Mistress."

"Who controls your ass?"

"You do Mistress."

"That's right slave... you shouldn't be forgetting that after all this time?"

"No Mistress."

She removed her foot from my mouth and I felt her moving closer again.

"Lick my finger clean slave."

I sucked her pussy flavoured finger deep into my mouth, savouring the taste of her gorgeous juices.

"Is that one of your favourite tastes in the world slave, I think it is isn't it?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Good slave, keep going... "

She allowed me a few more minutes of foot worship, after which I was completely blissed out and feeling enormously mellow. I just love worshipping my Mistress's feet, she really does have the most gorgeous feet I have ever seen and they really turn me on.

Finally she bid me to stop.

"That will do slave, now get up on the bed, on your hands and knees."

I moved onto the bed as instructed and waited as Mistress bound my wrists to the corners of the bed.

"I think you need just a touch more punishment slave..."

She gave me another (rather gentle) five slaps with the cat, before setting it aside and moving onto the bed beside me. I felt her reach under me and grab my cock.

"Now slave, time to really show you who's in control of this cock... and that's just how you like it isn't it?"


She started stroking my cock now, feeling it as it grew in her hand.

"It cannot feel as good, when you touch it yourself, can it slave?"

"No Mistress."

"Not when I dig my nails in like this... you sooooo love how that feels don't you? While your ass is vulnerable to me as well, you really love that feeling, isn't that right slave?"

My cock was rock hard now, the pain of her nails digging in only making it harder still, it felt so damn good!

"I think sometimes you deliberately touch yourself, so that you'll get punished, because you absolutely love being reminded don't you slave, of how good it feels when I'm in control..."

She moved away and the next thing I heard was the pump of the lube and the slightly cool, slippery feeling as the substance landed between my ass cheeks. A couple of minutes later Mistress had inserted a smallish dildo in my ass before returning her attention to my throbbing cock.

"You love it when something's in your ass and your cock's being teased, don't you slave?"

Indeed I do. The initial penetration may not always be easy, but I generally find it doesn't take long for that initial discomfort to subside and a much more pleasurable sensation to take it's place.

"It wouldn't be this good if you were doing it yourself would it slave?"

I couldn't argue with that, I was already starting to enjoy the unusual sensation of having something in my asshole, by the time she removed it a good while later I would be hoping for more.

"I sometimes wonder how you'd feel, if somebody else was touching you, while something was in your ass... maybe one day if it pleases me to find out, you will slave..."

That kind of caught me off guard, I must admit...

"That's certainly making your cock good and hard isn't it slave, you love it when your cock's like this, don't you... I'm in control of it, and that's just how you like it isn't it...however much you might sneakily touch it... now, keep that dildo in your ass while I untie you..."


Mistress unhooked the restraints from my cuffs before giving me my next instruction.

"Now slave I want you to turn over onto your back, while keeping that dildo inside your ass."

I successfully manoeuvred onto my back without letting the dildo slip out and felt Mistress securing my wrists once more before straddling me.

"Now slave, I want you to ask me nicely to take your blindfold off."

I asked her, with just a hint of pleading in my voice.

"Why would you want me to take it off slave."

"So I can... see you Mistress."

"You want to see me do you slave... do you?"


I managed to convince her that I did.

"Very well, close your eyes."

I felt her peel away the red rubber blindfold and knew that all that was standing between me and the image of my beautiful Mistress was the thickness of my eyelids. Of course I kept them tightly closed as instructed, despite my eagerness to see her gorgeous body.

"Okay, you may open them..."

Mistress was wearing a fairly plain black bra and one of her split leather skirts. The only time she ever wears bright red lipstick is in our sessions and I must admit I do love it on her. Even without the PVC garb she sometimes wears, she looked completely stunning.

"You look gorgeous Mistress."

"Thank you slave, keep your eyes up..."

She slowly raised the front of her leather skirt and said, "Now you may look at my beautiful pussy slave."

I must have licked my lips as I feasted my eyes on that which I never tire of seeing, Mistress has a gorgeous pussy, which with her hair kept pretty short affords me a great view of it's beauty.

"Lick the dildo slave."

I hadn't even noticed that she was holding her glass dildo again, but willingly used my tongue to lubricate it for her once more. A few moments later I was allowed to watch as she slid the glass cock between her soft, silky pink lips.

"Watch that dildo... going up inside and getting coated in those beautiful juices... "


You can bet I was watching... I absolutley love watching Mistress pleasure herself, and I so rarely get to see it.

"Ahhh, you so wish that was your cock don't you slave?"

I did indeed, if only she would allow me inside her.

"Lick it clean slave..."

I licked and sucked the dildo clean, savouring her beautiful taste as I swallowed every drop I could from the translucent cock.

Mistress discarded the dildo and reached down to find my rock hard cock, without a word she pressed the tip against her very wet pussy and bore down until I was fully inside. She rode me for less than half a minute before pulling herself off me and moving up to straddle my face.

"Tongue out slave..."

I can't tell you just how much I love it when Mistress straddles my face and orders me to lick her, it is just heaven to me, the submissive positioning just adds so much to my enjoyment of her beautiful pussy and I love it even more when she grinds herself against me, especially when she's really, really wet.

"Feel good slave?"

"You taste amazing Mistress..."

"Thank you slave, is that your favourite taste in the world?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Is it? So you prefer that to the taste of my beautiful ass do you?"

Not exactly, I adore both...

"Only slightly Mistress...."

"I see. I guess my ass is more of a treat for you because you don't get to taste it that often do you?"

"No Mistress... it's a special treat."

"A special treat, yes... only very good slaves are allowed that special treat aren't they? So do you think a slave who flagrantly disobeyed his Mistress by touching himself for twenty minutes should be allowed that special treat?"

Argh, as much as I probably expected this, I hated that my own weakness was going to be the thing which denied me the pleasure of worshipping Mistress R's gorgeous ass, unfortunately there was only one possible answer.

"Probably not Mistress."

"Probably not, then again... if you were to be allowed the possibility of that special treat, you'd probably do anything for it, wouldn't you?"

Mistress R had moved off my face now and was kneeling next to me on the bed and stroking my cock, as she talked to me she punctuated her comments with random slaps to my cock, which only made it harder.

"Anything that I asked...."

"Yes Mistress."

"If I told you that in order to earn that special treat, you had to go down on your Mistress and make her cum so hard..... eight times, before you were allowed that treat, you'd agree to that wouldn't you slave?"

Before I could answer Mistress R tabled an immediate amendment.

"In fact eight times is probably a bit low... probably fifteen times would be better."

I moaned softly, a combination of the way she was roughly playing with my cock and my appreciation of her domineering attitude.

"And if I said that in order to earn that special treat, you wouldn't be allowed to cum, for...."

She paused and gazed absentmindedly at the ceiling as if trying to think just how long she wanted me to suffer, before concluding simply that 'as long as she pleased' was sufficient.

 "...as long as I say, and when you were allowed to cum, I might just decide to ruin it for you... but in order to get your tongue into that special place, you'd probably agree to that wouldn't you slave?"

"Yes Mistress." I groaned as my cock pulsed in her hand at the mere suggestion of a ruined orgasm.

I love the thought of her doing that to me, not because of the physical sensation so much, more because I would love her to do it 'just because she can'. Like being whipped and paddled, it's not so much the act itself, it's the fact that it is her that is choosing that action for me.

Even as I struggled to keep my excitement under control Mistress R was straddling me and pressing her gorgeous ass softly against my face, affording me a torturously enticing view of her beautiful pink puckered hole. I can't tell you how much I wanted to flick my tongue out and just tease it for a second.....

"And what I could do, is allow you a tiny, tiny, tiny taste today... or maybe just allow you near it... so you were near, but you couldn't actually touch it... you can see it, soooo close.... but not allowed to touch it... maybe that would make you realise how special it actually was... and how only slaves who are very, very good are allowed to have that very special treat."

She pressed back again as I breathed in her musky scent, utterly complicit in my own torment.

"Oh it must be torture slave, to be sooooooo near, and yet not be allowed to do what you really want to do, which is to just plunge your tongue inside isn't it slave?"

My cock throbbed as she pressed back once again, her pink rosebud making the slightest contact with my top lip. I could have exploded right there...

"But slaves who can't obey their Mistress... they don't deserve special treats do they slave?"

"No Mistress," I breathed into her ass, fighting off the disappointment of knowing she was not going to allow me to taste her today.

"Still, slave might be allowed a chance of redeeming himself... we'll see won't we?"

A glimmer of hope perhaps?

"But he would of course have to agree... to anything and everything his Mistress asked. And not just agreeing and then immediately forgetting... he'd have to prove his devotion, so that she knows he really does appreciate having his Mistress totally in charge.

Mistress moved back to kneeling beside me and started stroking and slapping my cock and balls once again. I love it when she does that.

"After all slave, you touching yourself can't possibly feel as good as this can it, you know that now don't you?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Do you think you'll be able to remember that now?"

"Yes Mistress."

"I want you to be able to take yourself right back to this moment and be able to remember how it feels...

"I'll do anything you want me to Mistress."

"You will won't you slave, that's what I like to hear... otherwise you won't be allowed in that special place... "

Mistress picked up the small cock-whip and began flogging my cock with it, even using it on my balls a couple of times which I don't think she's ever done before, at least not deliberatley!

"Because remember, I can do what I want to this cock, I can lick it, suck it, bite it, crop it, whip it, rub it... whatever I choose slave... that's right isn't it?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Good.... I think it's time for you to have a think about it slave, to think about how much you really want to obey me. I'll be back when I'm ready slave... and then I'm going to tell you to go down on me. Understand slave?"

"Yes Mistress. Thank you Mistress."

Mistress applied a clothes peg to each of my nipples before leaving me to stew in my own juices for several long minutes.

As the minutes ticked by I truly entered that dreamy state that comes from being in this position, I felt my cock gradually soften but a few minutes before Mistress R came back into the room I focussed on remembering the images I have witnessed in the last half an hour and my cock quickly comes back to life, giving Mistress the impression as she walked back into the room that I had been hard the entire time.

"Good slave, have you been thinking about me?"

"Yes Mistress."

Mistress removed the pegs and untied my wrists.

"Take off your cock ring and then get up on your knees..."

I struggled a little bit getting the cock ring past my rapidly hardening cock, but I managed it and rose onto my knees without losing the dildo from my well-lubed and relaxed ass (I'd almost forgotten it was inside me to tell the truth).

"Ask me to remove the dildo."

I did as Mistress asked and half hoped as she pulled the dildo out that she might decide to take me on my hands and knees with her strap-on, after twenty minutes or so with the dildo inside me I was fully relaxed and would have loved her to fuck me from behind, but unfortunately it wasn't to be.

"So slave, were you thinking about me while I was gone, were you thinking that it's better for me to be in control than you?"

"Yes Mistress."

She smiled and climbed onto the bed, moving towards me and pulling my face towards her crotch. I wasn't exactly sure if I was allowed to lick her pussy at this precise moment, so I settled for a couple of soft kisses and breathing in her wonderful scent.

She lay down and spread her legs, inviting me to lay down inbetween them and pleasure her with my tongue. I willingly and eagerly did so, and I have to say Mistress tasted absolutely gorgeous. She was so hot and wet, my fingers slid easily into her pussy and right from the start she moaned softly as I started to lick her.

This continued for a while until eventually she groaned a few times, and then bucked wildly against my tongue. Listening back to that moment on the recording is something I will never get tired of hearing, for me it is the most beautiful sound I could ever hear. After a few seconds she stopped writhing and told me how good it was, then almost whispered, "Thank you slave."

"Thank you Mistress." I responded.

I always thank her for allowing me to lick her to orgasm, in a way that I'm sure she would never dream of doing...

"Kneel up slave... "

Mistress slipped out from under me as I viewed the small slick of pussy juice which remained on the PVC sheet.

"Clean up the sheet slave..."

I bent down and licked up every last drop, I love the taste of her pussy, even from a plastic sheet.

"Is that clean slave?"

"Yes Mistress."

"Get up on your knees then slave..."

Mistress climbed onto the bed once again and turned away from me.

"Good slave, now you can lick me clean, but you are not allowed to lick my ass.... just concentrate on getting every last drop of that beautiful pussy juice."

I craned my neck between her thighs to get as much as I could, finally using my fingers to retrieve the drops that my tongue just couldn't reach. She turned to face me and allowed me to lick around her pussy, she  tasted magnificent, it's the only word I can use to describe it.

Mistress ordered me onto my back and secured my wrists once more before straddling me and exposing her asshole to me by pulling her cheeks apart with one hand, the other stroking my cock until it was as hard as a rock.

"Good slave... but I still don't think that you've done enough to be allowed to lick that special place, not this time slave. You need to be thinking about it slave, and when you are tempted... so close... you'll know not to touch yourself without my permission won't you?"

Mistress slapped my cock and balls once again, bringing me closer to the edge, though I was still in well in control.

"Because it's never going to feel as good as this is it slave?"

"No Mistress."

"I want you to remember slave, when you're tempted to touch yourself, remember to ask me... I may not give you permission, but I may... and if I do... you will touch yourself while I'm watching. I say when you can touch your cock, understand slave?"

"Yes Mistress."

She slapped my cock a few more times and gave my balls one hefty slap for good measure, before abruptly bringing the session to a close.

"End of session."

"Thank you Mistress, thank you... thank you."

I lay panting for a few seconds until Mistress lay down on the bed next to me and I pressed myself against her, hugging her passionately and telling her how amazing it had been. After the last few weeks, we both really needed this session to be good, and it was more than that, much, much more... it was utterly fantastic. I am such a lucky man to have such a wonderful, sexy and beautiful wife as my divine Mistress R.

Nice in theory, but...

This morning I read a post on Mistress Ivey's blog (here), which concerns tease and denial.and the frequency thereof. While I am in absolute agreement with Mistress Ivey that it's important to keep the teasee sufficiently teased to maintain their interest (no one wants to be 'locked and left' after all), I do find it hard to believe that many people would really be prepared to invest thirty minutes a day on the subject.
She does say that this could be broken up throughout the day, which would be fantastic of course, except that I see Mistress R for about three minutes in the morning and then not until 5:45pm. After exercising, showering, eating dinner and washing up it's 7:00pm, which gives us say four to four and a half hours before bed, and she's supposed to spend thirty minutes of that teasing my cock, every single night?
Really?
My first reaction was of course mild indignation, I should print this and show it to Mistress R, and show her what a slacker she is... thought my 'denied-cock' brain. This lasted all of about three seconds, when my actually 'common-sense' brain took over, slapped my 'denied-cock' brain around the ears and told it to shut the fuck up and stop being so stupid.
My second reaction was, that only a man would write something so ridiculous.
I mean, I'm all for encouraging the woman to tease more, you'd be hard pressed to find a man who would like less teasing after all. I would probably cut off my right arm to be teased mercilessly for thirty minutes every single day. Or at least my left arm... and if a woman does read that and decide that that's what she wants to do, then that's brilliant, really, truly fantastic.
But I can't help feeling it's just a little unrealistic and just a little irresponsible.
Because for many of us, persuading our ladies to take control of our cocks and orgasms isn't easy. And if I had even hinted that, actually, for this to work Mistress R needed to devote three and half hours a week to keeping me sufficiently stimulated, I don't think.... in fact I know she would have told me flat out to forget it.
Yes, there needs to be teasing, and yes the more the better. The more the frustration builds the more he's going to love it. It doesn't always have to be full on stroking, it can be as simple as a quick rub through his pants in the kitchen, or just having him worship your feet while you sit in front of the TV or talk to your friend on the phone (actually the second one would be really hot!).
But, and this is IMPORTANT, stipulating a thirty minute minimum period per day is as good a way as I can think of making something that should be enjoyable and fun into a chore for the woman, and you know what, if it becomes a chore she's going to begin resenting it and the whole thing is gonna go tits up.
After all, this is supposed to be all about the woman and what she wants. Isn't it? That's what you probably said when you persuaded her to take control, but sure, you have needs too, she understands that, and after all she likes to see you squirm and throb in her hand, she loves that you struggle to hold back when she knows that you really want to release all that pent-up frustration you're carrying around in those full balls, so she obliges you by teasing you as much as she wants to.
Okay, maybe you don't get as much as you'd like, or as much as you thought you would, in that case you need to bring this to her attention, but if you can persuade your wife to tease you for at least thirty minutes a day, every day, then please either email me or leave your phone number in the comments below and next time I have a salary review you can be my negotiator!
Let's face it, we're guys, we want constant stimulation. No guy in our position would ever say 'I've had enough now, you can stop', we'd let them stroke our cocks until they'd rubbed the skin away and our cocks were red raw, and probably still want just a little more. But to some extent that mismatch of supply and demand increases the value of the pleasure we receive when we are granted teasing.
I guess what I'm most concerned about is that someone who wants to get into this lifestyle will read that and immediately think that that is 'normal', and that will lead to dissatisfaction on his part and resentment on both sides when he claims that that is what should be happening, because he read it on the internet.
You only have to look around at a few of the more prominent chastity blogs, to see that the course of male chastity does not always run smoothly. Our old friend 'k' hasn't even been allowed out of his device for the last month, and it's not uncommon to see posts apologizing on behalf of the blog owner for the lack of new content because 'not much has been happening' for various reasons (illness, time apart, tiredness, etc etc).
Anyway, I think I've made my point now, so I'll shut up and bobby off.

Answers to your questions (Part One)

A few weeks ago I invited my readers to leave questions for Mistress R in the comments or to email them to me, in addition, our great friend Miss Christina suggested that I should answer them too, so I have...



Q: What is the best thing about chastity?

Mistress R: There isn't necessarily one best thing, however... since we've been doing it I feel able to to have what I want and when I want it, without feeling any guilt or pressure, because I know Rob wants me to have that control. Also I'm more aware of Rob constantly 'wanting' me, which makes me feel great, obviously!

Robert Anthony: The best thing about chastity is waking up hard every morning, any man who's ever had a spell of erectile dysfunction would agree with that, I'm quite sure. After that, it's the mental buzz of the woman you love having that power over you, and then of course there's the intensity of those rare orgasms.... okay I guess that's three things.


Q: What is the best thing about Femdom?

Mistress R: It's difficult to put into words exactly, neither of us are really into pain for it's own sake  as such, it's more a safe way of indulging our darker fantasies, knowing that anything said or done in the session is just 'play'. It's a way for me to 'use' Rob for my pleasure, knowing that it's really hot for him, and that turns us both on. Also, by keeping the sessions limited to once a month, that keeps them 'special' and the intensity is maintained every time.
Chastity has added an extra dimension to the Femdom sessions, because now there's no guarantee that Rob will be allowed to cum, which enhances both our experiences. Often I will not even have decided at the beginning of the session what the outcome will be.

Robert Anthony: The best thing for me about Femdom is seeing Mistress R blossoming before my eyes in the session. She always looks absolutely stunningly beautiful when she's domming me. It's like a sort of Goddess halo or something.... I love the way it changes her demeanour as well. In the sessions she'll happily slap my balls, whereas in between she's much more circumspect about things like that. I just love to see her so confident in her sexuality. That's what I really love about Femdom, she's like a different person, no not a different person, the same but just oozing sex... occasionally in the sessions I have been almost scared by my feelings for her, and what I might agree to do if she asked me, I still don't think she really has a clue just how much power she could have over me if she really wanted to.


Q: What is the worst thing about chastity?

Mistress R: To be honest I can't think of any downside. I get what I want, when I want, and Rob's cock is always hard when I want it to be. And because I retain control over when (and how) Rob gets to cum, I can still choose to have penetrative or oral sex whenever I want to. Also because I don't specify how long I am going to make him wait, I can chose to make him cum whenever it pleases me.

Robert Anthony: Since Mistress R decided that her terms for agreeing to control my orgasms were that I couldn't ask to be allowed to cum, and I couldn't ask to be inside her, I'd have to say the hardest thing about it has really been not being able to initiate penetration. That really was a bit difficult to come to terms with, but now, it's okay. Since we have less penetrative sex than we used to it's actually kind of become more 'special'. Other than that, everything else that I could say would be the worst thing would be things which are at the core of the whole idea, like not being able to masturbate etc etc...
Actually there is one other thing... before chastity, when I always got to cum at the end of our Femdom sessions, Mistress R would make me swallow my cum, either from her pussy or fingers or wherever she chose. Now I don't get to cum that often so I miss that a bit, because eating your own cum is about as submissive as you can get (within our boundaries at least).


Q: What is the worst thing about Femdom?

Mistress R: Because I get to decide what happens, there isn't really a downside, the hardest thing about it is scheduling it. Since we only do it once a month, we always want it to be good, so we don't do it if one us is feeling a bit off, we'd rather wait to make it good.

Robert Anthony: Although I agree with Mistress R that keeping it to once a month keeps it special, the truth is that I would willingly submit to her as often as she wanted, and to a much greater extent than she would probably imagine. That doesn't mean I'm unhappy with what I have, just that I accept that Mistress R and I have a slightly different view on this, and I appreciate how lucky I am to have what I have. It just means that the wait between sessions is probably harder for me than it is for her, because I really do crave things like foot worship and having her straddling my face inbetween times...


Q: Do you think you will ever go back to a 'normal' sex life?

Mistress R: As things stand right now, we're both so happy with it I can't see any reason why we would go back to a 'normal' sex life... but if one of us became unhappy with it then we'd discuss it. Because of the way our arrangement works, I can choose to have what some would think was 'normal' any time I want.

Robert Anthony: While I agree with everything that Mistress R said, it's hard to believe that I will go through the entire rest of my life without choosing when to masturbate...


Q: Do you really believe Robert when he tells you he hasn't cum, how can you tell? Wouldn't you rather know for sure, even if it meant having him locked up for you?

Mistress R: Yes I do believe him, because really, what would be the point? I guess I can't ever be 100% certain, but I do believe that he wouldn't be as hard and wouldn't react the same way to the teasing if he had cum without my permission. To be honest I've never doubted Rob's word, because honesty is really key to our arrangement, to making it work and I believe that if he did make himself cum he would feel obliged to tell me (and then receive his punishment accordingly!).
Using a device is something we have discussed, and to be honest, I don't really like the idea and when Rob tried one ages ago it was completely impractical, so we've relied on Rob's self control and his willingness to be denied, and so far it seems to be working well.


Q: Robert has posted some very nice (and tasteful) pictures of you on the blog, will we get to see 'more' of you eventually (hope so!).

Mistress R: Thank you for those kind remarks, I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the pictures Rob posted. As for any more, and their content, I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and see...


And finally a question from Rob to Mistress R.

Q: How does it make you feel on those rare occasions when I am allowed on top, and I get really close, and yet I still slow down/stop and let you know that I can't carry on rather than just blowing off the 'game' and pounding you until I explode?

Mistress R: I really appreciate your level of commitment, to what we have agreed, and it reinforces the trust and the strength of our relationship. It also makes that particular time, very intense and shows me that you really do want me to have that control, and you're not just saying that when it's easy or when it suits you.


Q: Does it surprise you that I've never once done that though? It kinda surprises me to be honest!
Mistress R: Not so much now, certainly when we first started it did because it goes against all your natural instincts, especially when you are on top...

The 'cheating' poll...

At the last minute there were a few more votes which turned the result around and men came out slightly ahead of women in the 'sex most likely to cheat on a partner' poll. Initially I thought that the results would be far more clear cut in favour of men, but then this blog probably has a much higher readership among males than females, so I imagine that would have something to do with it...
That said, despite the common belief that it's more likely to be the man than the woman, I don't particularly believe that to be the case (though being an almost pathologically monogamous male myself, I'm probably rather biased). I think the poll result is probably quite accurate, I'm sure there's a lot of 'bastards' out there cheating on their wives and girlfriends, but I'm equally sure there's a lot of women at it too.
At the end of the day, I think almost anyone of either sex is capable of cheating if the opportunity presents itself, especially if they feel that they are not getting what they deserve at home. And some people are capable of doing it regardless of circumstances or the inevitable pain they cause.