Mistress R has been a bit crotchety today, what with one thing and another, but thankfully this evening she has had a glass of wine and relaxed a bit and quite unexpectedly she came over to me on the sofa and told me she wanted my shorts off. Well, I wasn't going to wait to be asked a second time! So for the next few minutes I had the wonderful pleasure of watching her suck my cock very nicely, and then stroking it hard and fast and then back to sucking and finally some soft touching and some awesome kissing, I really, really love kissing her when she's been sucking my cock, I love to taste it on her and today it seemed unusually strong, which made it super-hot!
I didn't edge. It surprises me how well I can control my cock even after 21 days without cumming, but I think trying to edge would be very dangerous and my principal concern is that I would cum without permission and until I know that Mistress R is willing to ruin my orgasm if I do that, I won't even try. I was very happy with how hard I was though, and how hard I stayed for a while after she finished too, all this healthy eating and exercise must be starting to pay off!
Following this, and when I had put my shorts back on, Mistress R told me she wanted to ask me something about the chastity thing. One of the things that was bothering her was the fact that our Femdom session is coming up next Sunday, and although I had written about this she wanted to check that I was sure I was okay with not being allowed to cum, if that's what she decided.
See, for those of you who haven't been following the blog since the beginning, we've been having these Femdom sessions for ten years and every single one of them has resulted in an orgasm for me (and all but one or two for her too). So I knew that sooner or later, as Mistress got comfortable with the idea of longer periods of chastity, this would become a point of conflict, because last time I went 28 days and to go any longer would mean either moving the session or me not getting to cum.
Well I told her that the most important thing to me is that she decides when I get to cum, and I also said that I didn't want to change the monthly sessions, and that I was indeed fine with the idea of not being allowed to cum in the session, if that's what she wanted.
To me, though I love being made to wait a long time, I don't necessarily want to just wait two more days longer each time, because it becomes predictable. I can't imagine embarking on a year of chastity, not because of the waiting, but I think what would suck would be knowing that you weren't going to cum for a year. I'd much rather every time I was teased I thought there was a chance. Like tonight, it's been 21 days, and the Femdom session is a week away, and because waiting until next Sunday would be quite predictable, I had this idea that she would let me cum tonight, so all the time she was sucking my cock so wonderfully I kept waiting for her to tell me that she wanted me to cum. But she never did...
But the knowledge that she could have is part of what makes it so hot. Knowing that all she had to do was say to me that she wanted me to cum, right now, and I would have emptied my balls into her warm, wet mouth, or over her gorgeous tits, or over my own stomach... whichever she chose. Once you take away the possibility I think it loses something, which is why the times when we planned chastity periods to finish on the days of the sessions weren't ideal, but I knew they were necessary stepping stones to get where we are now.
So, yes, the answer to the question was 'Yes, I am fine about not being allowed to cum in the session', because I do want to be pushed to wait longer than 28 days (as and when she decides to), but what I really want more than anything is for her to have the freedom to choose. I don't want her to feel that there being a session means she 'has' to let me cum, I don't want anything to take that control away from her, or impinge on it in any way.
As I said to her, she can make me cum every night for a week if she wants to, and then make me wait six or seven weeks if that's what she wants to do. All that matters to me is that she's happy, and she's making the decision on whether I get to cum or not. I mean of course it's nice to beat my record, but we don't have to break it every time, if I go a week then a month, then two days, then another week, then two months, then three days, then a week, then three days on the trot, then another two months, then three months, then four days.... that's fine with me, as long as she's happy and she's making the decision.
After our talk she was a lot happier and a lot more relaxed, so it's pretty clear that she was thinking about pushing me past 28 days but she was concerned that even though I had written on my blog that I was okay with it, she was still unsure that I really was. But now she knows I am definitely okay with it and that I do want to gradually be pushed longer, but she doesn't have to do it every time. Because after all, that just takes control away from her too, because if she wants to have me cum for her after a week and she knows that she's 'supposed' to be making me wait at least a couple of days longer than last time, well, that really isn't her being in total control of my cock like I wanted is it?
I'm really glad she asked me about this because I knew this problem would arise sooner or later and now that we've discussed it, Mistress knows that she has complete control over when I cum, which is far more important than beating records as far as I'm concerned. Plus it means that I really don't have a clue when I'm going to be allowed to cum now, but suddenly it looks like the two thirds of you who have voted that you don't think Mistress R is going to let me cum this month might be right!
The question is now, if not July, will it even be August?
Like most of you out there, although I want it to be entirely her decision, I can't help hoping that she will continue to develop her cruel side and make me wait and wait and wait, while teasing me mercilessly and enjoying my tongue whenever she wants it, I would also love for her to tease me right to the edge and then let go just as my cock starts to spurt, leaving me totally frustrated and completely in awe of her and the power that she has over me now....
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