Monday 4 July 2011

Following up on yesterday's post...

Firstly, thanks to those of you who commented, and to GoodHubby for the inspiration.
I printed my post out for Mistress R last night, and she was concerned that I was 'worried' about it. Which I'm not (much), but anyway...
She pointed out that one of the reasons was that before we started the chastity thing my cock wasn't all that reliable (this is true, I have some nerve damage from an operation and I'm also well overweight), although a cock ring is quite effective in sorting that out*. If I am on top I also tend to get cramp in my legs, although not always and a few weeks ago we did this for the first time in ages and it was wonderful, even though I had to go slow or risk pushing myself over the edge. I love her to be on top, not least because I love to look up at her, but also because I don't get any cramp and I don't have to worry about coming so much. And obviously it feels so much more submissive to be on the bottom (plus if she does decide to let me cum inside her, she can easily move up and have me lick her clean).
But, most importantly of all, Mistress agrees that she has the power and if she wanted more penetration she would ask for it. So it seems the answer is that Mistress is getting all the penetration she requires, and if that is the case then I am more than happy with the way things are.
Unlike some men, I have never felt any given 'right' to penetrate my wife. I know I am a bit 'over-sensitive' (probably even unnecessarily so a lot of the time) to how Mistress R is feeling and the slightest bit of discomfort on her part (even just a slightly pained look on her face) is enough to put me off, because I can't stand the thought of hurting her (and even more so since a couple of months back in our Femdom session, she was getting a bit worked up with a dildo, trying to shove it into my arse, and she completely misjudged it and aimed about an inch too high and I must say it fucking hurt!).
Truth be told, I am generally quite happy to be teased manually and to be allowed inside her only when she wants it, because while I do love to be inside her, it's more important to me that she is in control, and like I said, being inside her is so much better when I know she really wants me there.** Besides, as the nerve damage means that I am sometimes much less sensitive than I might otherwise be, on the verge of numbness at times, fingers are often better for me as they can grip harder, scratch, etc... plus when Mistress R's wonderful tongue is teasing my cock it's really quite difficult to feel hard-done-by!

*One wonderful side-effect of 'male-chastity' is how hard I get (and stay) now, a huge improvement.

** I do remember a time, not too many years ago, when Mistress R told me that penetration was not that important to her because it doesn't make her cum and was something she did 'for me'. I don't exactly remember why she said that, and it is possible that it was said when I was stressing about not being able to perform as well as I would have liked for her, so maybe it was meant as a kindness... but even so, the fact that she was so keen to take control of my being allowed inside her and the fact that it has diminished significantly since leads me to conclude that there perhaps was at least some truth in it.
And actually, if that is the case, then it makes being allowed inside her even more special...

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