Yesterday I presented Mistress R with a key pendant that I found in our favourite online jewellery store, I wanted to get her something to celebrate our first 'chastity' anniversary when I clicked on the 'What's New' tab I couldn't believe my eyes. Right there was the perfect gift at the perfect time, gift buying has never been so easy. I have searched for a key pendant before, but actually gave up because I couldn't find anything suitable, so this was such a result...
Mistress R wants me to take a photo of her wearing it, so I think my header will be refreshed with a new picture, which will also maybe help to stop some of the confusion for new readers who see that and think I am locked in a chastity device (I'm still on the honour system, which I have found easier than expected, but more on that later).
Even though it seemed like the perfect gift, I was still concerned that when it arrived it wouldn't look as good as the picture suggested, and I wasn't sure about the charm-bracelet type attachment that fixes the key to the chain either, but when it arrived the next day I was totally stoked at how good it looked.
Mistress R loves it too, she still has no intention of locking me up, indeed she really doesn't understand why anyone would want to be locked up, but she still loves the symbolic nature of her wearing 'my' key, she loves that only we know what it means (well, us and all you guys, obviously!).
Mistress and I discussed our arrangement a few times this last couple of days, firstly she sought reassurance that I was happy to continue as we are and I assured her that I did. Last night I sought the same assurance from her, because I was a little concerned that maybe with the blog and everything, she might feel like she was 'trapped' in this role now, and I don't want her to feel that way.
I reminded her that she could stop this at any time if she wanted to, but Mistress R insisted that she didn't want to go back. We've discussed this before and Mistress R pretty much said to me 'Why would I want to go back to feeling obliged to have sex when I wasn't in the mood?'. She actually said something about staring at the ceiling and then quickly retracted that comment!!! (Just thought I'd slip that in for you humiliation junkies, hahaha).
On a more positive note, she said that leaving aside everything else, the simple fact that my cock is now hard whenever she wants it is worth continuing for alone. I can't argue with that, any guy who's experienced ED for any length of time will know how stressful it is for both partners, and a vicious circle to boot, one that's very difficult to break, even if the problem is mostly mental. Additionally, because Mistress R is now more comfortable about only having sex when she wants to (and because she knows my cock will be throbbing hard for her), she is more relaxed about it and actually seems to want it more, which is a win-win situation if ever I saw one!
Which is not to say that I get to be inside her more of course...
Long time readers will remember that when I first suggested 24/7 chastity, Mistress R stipulated that if this was what I really wanted then she would decide when penetrative sex would happen (this was the same day that she forbid me to even 'ask' to be allowed to cum, even just to hear her say 'no'). In the beginning I believe it was something of a hangover from the bad-old ED days, because even a year ago my cock wasn't the ultra-reliable monolith of flesh it is today and this way I guess Mistress R could ascertain the 'quality' of erection she was dealing with before she consented to penetration (thereby avoiding any stressful failures and breaking that awful circle of doubt and disappointment).
There was more to it than that of course, and I was slightly thrown by the disparity between the amount of penetration that I thought Mistress R would require and the actual amount of penetration that she decided upon. Eventually this sorted itself out, and lately it seems that Mistress R wants me inside her more than she used to, if not always for very long. The other change is that nearly every time I am allowed to penetrate Mistress R, she is always on top. Which I have always loved, being a naturally sexually submissive person. Indeed I think I have only been on top three or possibly four times in the last year... most recently this concluded in one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had when Mistress R finally 'persuaded' me to use the orgasm voucher she gave me for Valentines Day.
As we were discussing things last night, I mentioned to Mistress R that one of the things I loved about her getting to chose when we have penetrative sex was that it seemed more 'special' now, she agreed and said that she loved that we had broken out of the 'routine' of intercourse, and said that sometimes after I've made her cum she just gets the urge to feel my cock inside her, and because she decides when she knows she can always have what she wants, and I'll always be ready, willing and able!
While Mistress R still isn't what some of you might wish for as a dream Domme, she certainly has gained a lot of confidence over the last year and she's made me extremely happy in the process. This was never going to be the beginning of a 24/7 Femdom Marriage, or an FLR. I am not a slut for pain or humiliation and submitting to Mistress R once a month is enough for me... well, I mean I wouldn't mind if it was more often, obviously. In fact if Mistress R wanted to whip me, strap-on me, ride my face and have me worship her feet every week then you certainly wouldn't find me moaning about it. But once a month is enough to keep me from feeling 'neglected'. Who knows what the future may bring in that respect. We did talk about stopping our Femdom sessions at one point, and for Mistress R to 'use' me as and when she wanted, but I'm glad we didn't do that in the end, I think that having the session ensures that things 'happen' regularly. And I'm not sure that would have happened without it, at least not yet.
Looking forward I could see the possibilities of that happening. As Mistress R's confidence has grown she has become more relaxed about slapping my cock and balls as an everyday thing, maybe in the future paddling my ass or using a 'strap-on' on me as and when she feels like it might become the 'norm'...
A few months ago I ran a poll asking 'How Many Times Do You Think Mistress R will let me cum in 2012, the winning answer with a whopping 52% of the vote was 'Less than 10'. Given that I've been allowed to cum five times in the first three months of the year, I think that's somewhat unlikely, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was less than twenty. On average over the last six months I have been allowed to cum 1.6 times per month, and if we extrapolate that over the next twelve months it works out to just over nineteen orgasms for me in 2012. But who's to say that Mistress R won't be cutting back on my orgasms (though she might just as likely allow me more, if that's what pleases her...).
Certainly my first year total of twenty three was skewed by April's count of four orgasms (yes, four!), a number that hasn't even been approached since (twos and ones ever since) as Mistress R has relaxed into her role and tightened her grip on my orgasm quota. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this year see's my first orgasm-less 'calendar' month, after all I've already had a 35 day stretch without an orgasm.
Interestingly, April was also Mistress R's lowest orgasm scoring month, just eight! Ever since it's been nines, tens, elevens and twelves all the way. I would love for Mistress to regularly be hitting teens in the coming year, but of course that's not for me to decide, all I can do is provide top quality pussy worship whenever requested.
Between us, Mistress R and I amassed a total of 140 orgasms in our first chastity year, with 117 (83.5%) for Mistress and a generous 23 (16.5%) for me. But if we take April out of the equation, it's a different story, with Mistress scoring 109 to my 19, which means that Mistress took just over 85% all for herself.
Either way Mistress has had at least five orgasms for every one of mine and (ignoring April) by the end of the year it was heading towards a ratio of 6-1.
So there we are, today is the first day of the next year of male chastity for us and hopefully later on today I will be allowed to worship Mistress R's beautiful pussy and we'll start as we mean to go on, with Mistress R satisfied and me left throbbing and horny. Or maybe she'll let me cum? Mistress did talk about letting me cum one more time last night, before the new year started, but for whatever reason she decided not to. But then she also talked about making me wait until our next session (at least another two weeks away) or maybe even longer... after all, I'm sure she's going to want to beat my thirty five day record sooner or later...
:)
Elsewhere it's been an interesting year, if not as productive as I'd hoped on the writing front. Attempting to write that Femdom Cave book backfired on me somewhat, leaving me with 22,000 words of story that I have no real interest in finishing (perhaps I shall just post it here as it is), and really crippled my enjoyment of writing for some time. On a more positive note, the revelation that I can write stories for sale on Amazon to Kindle owners has piqued my interest once again and hopefully I will soon begin doing just that! The Femdom Cave experience did force me to start writing in the third person though, which is definitely a step forward, but I won't be writing stories to anyone else's parameters again any time soon. People often say that hobbies are best kept as hobbies, once I started writing that book it became like a second job, and I'd rather write what I want for fun... but if I can write what I want and sell it through Amazon then that's going to be brilliant!
I think I'm done with reviewing sex toys too. Plenty of other blogs are doing it now, and it was always a bit of a pain in the arse to be honest. Most sex toys to me are a waste of time, once you get past the obviously useful ones (dildo, strap-on, vibrators, whips, paddles etc) you're pretty much into the land of the expensive novelty item. And I'll tell you straight, nothing would make me want to use a masturbation sleeve again, it was just fucking weird. I did enjoy reviewing the books though...
Right well that's it for now, I'm off to make a cup of tea and watch some NHRA drag racing on YouTube. In a world where 'youth' is everything it's deeply satisfying (to anyone the wrong side of forty, like what I am) to see a 62 year old mad bloke more than holding his own at 300mph!
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