Seeking Reassurance...

So a while back I made a post where I asked my readers to give me their opinions regarding whether they thought Mistress and I should have a break from our chastity play, given that we will soon be coming to our fifth anniversary. I got a couple of quite different responses…

First from Harry Haversackers who said: “On the topic of taking a break, I can only ask why you’d want to… CH and I have been playing with chastity and orgasm denial for roughly the same length of time that you two have been (Five years as of last October), and I can’t imagine taking a break… to do what? Have vanilla sex for a few weeks??”

And an alternate view from Peak who said: “I think the resumption of ‘normal’ relations is something you should seriously discuss with your wife. After five years you are both used to the lifestyle it generates. Equally it could also now be simply a habit. A month of so normal relations (and it may take a few weeks to really get back into it) would allow you both to reset the habit side at least. I’m sure within days you would find it strange and one or the other would want to switch back but give it a reasonable fixed time. After that you would need to discuss it again. You might find you want to switch back immediately, or for another fixed term. You might find elements you want to retain and other you want to stop or restrict. If nothing else you would revert with an eagerness for some elements that would make riveting reading!”

Thanks to both of my readers (sounds good doesn’t it… hahaha) for their comments, I do appreciate people taking their time to leave messages for me. Mistress read that post the other day, although I’m pretty sure she read it before any comments had been left, and she did remark to me that she didn’t know I wanted to ‘take a break’.

We didn’t really get into a discussion about it as it was a rather in-opportune moment, but nothing about her tone suggested to me that she was keen (or otherwise really) on the idea. The truth is it’s not that I want a break, but there is a lingering feeling that stems from when we first started this lifestyle (I refuse to word the ‘j’ word!) that I need reassuring sometimes that Mistress is happy with the way things are. I know that it’s been five years and you would think that if she was unhappy then she probably would have said so by now, and I hope that is true. It is also true that Mistress does seem to enjoy denying me now, and the uncertainty stems from a time when she was very indifferent about the whole idea. No, indifferent doesn’t cut it I’m afraid. Mistress definitely did not want a 24/7/365 chastity lifestyle and she said as much.

But, she changed her mind, and agreed to try, adding some of her own rules in the process (me not being allowed to ask for penetration, or begging to be allowed to cum). I’m quite sure she thought it would last a couple of months and then things would go back to ‘normal’. Of course it didn’t, and here we are nearly five years down the line.

I am perfectly happy of course, but I am mindful that unlike most fetishes this impacts on our life every single day. It’s true that Mistress is in complete control and she can do whatever she pleases, whenever she pleases (within reason) but still. I guess a lot of husbands may have some kink they like and their wives may indulge them (or the other way around of course, it’s not just men who are kinky) but this may only take a few minutes every so often and makes very little real impact on the everyday relationship.

Our situation is somewhat different of course and does have knock-on effects, like limiting our ability to have prolonged/vigorous penetrative sex when I am too ‘on edge’. I guess I just don’t want her to turn around one day and say that this ruined our ‘normal’ sex life, even though she seems perfectly happy with the way things are.

We have discussed this before, and she has definitely said that she doesn’t want to go back to a normal vanilla sex life, and I guess I should just leave it at that, but I still can’t help but worry about it sometimes. I just want to be sure that she is as happy as I am. Because I am very happy.

I'm So Close!

This is my second attempt at writing this post. My first was almost completed last night, when I caught the mousepad with my finger and abracadabra-bickety-bosh the whole thing was deleted. I was not happy, and since I can’t seem to find any way of stopping this happening (it wasn’t the first time by a long chalk) I have taken to writing in Word which has a lovely autosave, so even if I lose some of my post it won’t be all of it. Although knowing my luck it will autosave right after I cock it up again! Anyway, you didn’t come here to read about my inability to deal with first world problems, so I shall bore you with them no more!

Last night Mistress enjoyed her 100th orgasm of this chastity year. It was a lovely orgasm too, very fitting for the 100th of the year, and Mistress obviously enjoyed it enormously. After I had worshipped her gorgeous feet for a while and she had recovered, Mistress had me lick her pussy clean, before she started teasing me.

For those of you who don’t know, our chastity years run from April 1st – March 31st. This blog started in April 2011, just a couple of days after our full-time chastity agreement began on 1st April. All of which means this particular chastity year is drawing to a close, and with just 100 Mistress orgasms on the board so far, this is looking like it might possibly be the worst year since we started. Currently the least orgasmic year for Mistress was 2012-2013 with 112, so unless we score something close to a record month this month…

February was in fact the worst single month since the start of the blog, Mistress came just 6 times last month which is very disappointing. A lot of this was due to us both being ill, which is hopefully behind us now. Hopefully 2016-2017 will be better and Mistress will get into double figures every month. I know I shouldn’t get too hung up on the figures, and that quality is better than quantity and all that, but even so. I feel happier knowing that Mistress is properly satisfied.

Anyway, back to last night. Mistress soon had me hard and after some lovely slapping, stroking and sucking she decided to straddle me and sink down on my throbbing cock. As usual Mistress was wearing her black bra, and as much as I really wanted her to take it off and show me her gorgeous breasts I knew it was a bad idea as far as making it last went, so I decided to content myself with squeezing them through the material.

Sometimes when Mistress rides my cock she gives the impression that she’s doing it for me, rather than for her own enjoyment, but last night she seemed to be enjoying it a lot. It felt great for me too, but the way she was angling her pelvis to get maximum friction meant that it wasn’t really that long before I had to warn her I was getting close.

I was certain she was going to let me cum inside her. Absolutely certain. Even though it’s only been ten or so days since I was allowed to cum on her beautiful feet, I was convinced of it. And when she straddled me I was even more convinced. So when I warned her that I was getting close I absolutely expected her to speed up and tell me to shoot my load inside her. I was so sure, I could almost taste the mixture of cum and pussy juice that would soon be coating my tongue when she lifted herself off my wilting cock and onto my face.

But instead, she slowed right down and simply ground herself against my poor edging cock, leaving me to fight the urge to cum. It was fantastic, I have never been so close to coming inside her but not allowed to do so. I don’t know how long she stayed there, it probably wasn’t that long, but it felt like a while to me. Then she lifted herself off and lay next to me before very gently sliding her fingertips along my wet cock. She pushed them into my mouth so that I could lick them clean and told me that that was all I was getting.

I couldn’t quite believe it. Even when she lifted off I thought she might grab my cock and stroke it hard, at least until I started to cum… maybe even longer. I just wasn’t expecting her to say ‘That’s it for today’.

As you probably know I am not allowed to ‘beg’ to be allowed to cum. And I didn’t, well… not really. But I did say… in a rather desperate tone of voice, ‘I’m so close’.

To which Mistress responded, ‘I know you are, but you love it when I’m mean to you, don’t you?’

All I could really say to that was ‘Yes Mistress’.

And it’s true, because as much as I desperately wanted to jump on top of Mistress and slam my cock into her pussy until I filled her with cum, I fucking love that she took me so close, and made it so hard for me and still left me denied. It was so incredible, I just loved it so much.

My cock throbbed against her for ages and I begged her to stroke it just a little more. Mistress reached down and gave me three more firm strokes which felt so fucking good I can’t even begin to explain, but then I had to content myself with cuddling my beautiful Mistress and feeling my cock throb and ache against her gorgeous, sexy body. 

The other day I made a post about the fact that we were coming up to our fifth anniversary of chastity, and asked if anyone had any thoughts about whether we should continue on or have a break from it for a month or so. I haven’t spoken to Mistress about that post and I don’t think that she’s read it, or if she has she hasn’t mentioned it. All I can say is really, if last night is anything to go by, I really have no qualms about continuing on for another five years. I hope Mistress keeps building on the idea of being mean to me and making it hard for me, because last night really was pretty amazing.