No doubt the more eagle eyed among you will have spotted that Mistress R’s orgasm count has increased to twelve since last night, while mine has stayed exactly where it has been since the 30th of April. Like I said yesterday, I really LOVE eating pussy and the only thing better is making my beautiful Mistress cum hard, especially when I know that she has no intention of allowing my own release. Consequently I am a happy man this morning as I got to enjoy both those things last night (not to mention that I was on the receiving end of some wonderful teasing too!).
Actually as I was being teased I had to remind myself a couple of times that I’m not allowed to beg to be allowed to cum. I think Miss Christina may be right about that being quite an evil condition to impose on Mistress R’s part, which is surprising because at the time I didn’t think it was all that big of a deal. I guess it leaves me feeling a little helpless, because I can’t even ask.. (but then if I could ask, would I? Because then there's a danger that Mistress might let me, which isn't what I want either!).
Of course, if I REALLY wanted to cum, then I suppose I would ask, and deal with the consequences later (whatever they may be, Mistress R is very vague on consequences…) which obviously tells you all you need to know. Not that asking is necessarily going to result in permission of course, where would be the fun in that? Despite which I’ve only had to wait twelve days so far, and did I not only yesterday vote in my own poll stating that I would like to be denied for more than twenty eight days? So it’s not like I actually wanted to cum, it’s more that I wanted to be able to tell my Mistress that I wanted to, even if actually I didn’t really want her to let me (makes perfect sense to me, haha).
It’s funny, when Mistress had 5 orgasms to my 3 I remember thinking ‘I hope that ratio increases‘... and now just a few weeks later Mistress is enjoying three orgasms for every one of mine, and what’s more the figures are still being skewed by those early weeks when Mistress was settling into her new role and perhaps feeling a little more generous…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy about this situation, far from it! Mistress R is giving me exactly what I asked for (and I love her for it!) and I hope it continues for as long as she is happy to control my cock and orgasms. If anything I would love for Mistress to have many more orgasms, not for the sake of a ‘ratio’, but because I love making her cum so much, and it makes me blissfully happy when I do. It is a slightly strange situation to be in though, and I feel like I still haven’t quite relaxed into this whole thing myself just yet, even though I know that it's what I really want. But I think there's one major reason for that...
Despite many times of seeking reassurance from Mistress R that she is happy with what is happening, I still worry a little that she’s wondering why I’m not asking for penetration (even though I know, that she knows, that she said I wasn’t allowed to ask!). Yeah I know that sounds stupid, especially as we've been through all this before and agreed on these restrictions. Maybe I’m just a little confused that after the initial reaction, Mistress R has accepted all this so easily? But then didn’t Sarah (Jameson) say all along that once a woman gets her head round male chastity she tends to take to it like a duck to water?
Maybe it's just a little hard for us guys to believe that a lot of women don't need or want penetration as often as we think they do, I mean Mistress knows full well that she can have me inside her whenever she wants, so I have to assume that this is how often she wants, don't I? And at least this way I know that when I am allowed inside Mistress's beautiful pussy, she really wants me to be there (and boy does it feel good when it happens!).
At the end of the day I’m only worrying (probably) unnecessarily about things because I know that it was me who brought this whole idea up and I’d hate for Mistress R to be going through with all this and deep down not being comfortable or happy with it. But I’ve asked, several times now, and she seems happy and she says she would tell me if she wasn't, so perhaps I really should just shut the hell up and enjoy getting what I asked for*, before she starts thinking I’m the one having second thoughts (which I’m absolutely not!). Yes, perhaps that would be the best thing to do… perhaps this is only going to feel 'normal' after we've been doing it a while longer. It's just that I love Mistress R so much... and nothing is more important to me than her happiness.
I look forward to hearing your comments.
*I've already made three big mistakes in my life when it comes to Mistress R and sex. I turned down anal sex because I was worried about hurting her, I turned down a threesome with another woman (possibly a test, I like to think so...), and I said she didn't have to lick the cum off my cock after she said she would when she was trying to make me cum for about the fifth time one night (it was very early days!!). Sometimes one can't help feeling like a complete idiot, hahaha.
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