But it’s not all plain sailing you know. I remember reading on Sarah Jameson’s blog (or possibly in her book) that it’s not unusual for a man who gives up control of his orgasms to become a little grumpy as the reality of what he’s done kicks in. This usually manifests itself in the man asking to be released from his device (assuming he has one) and wanting to be allowed to cum earlier than was initially negotiated with his keyholder. This is a difficult time for the keyholder, on the one hand her husband (or whatever) has asked her to take control of his orgasms, told her that it’s now her decision and probably assured her that even if he begs he wants her to ignore his pleas for mercy. So what then is the keyholder to do when the person who gave her this power and promised her that he wouldn’t ask, beg, sulk or bully when the going got tough, and that even if he does she 'mustn’t give in because he needs her to be strong for him', starts to do exactly that? She’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t isn’t she? If she lets him cum then you just know the guy will regret it about three minutes later (and possibly blame the keyholder for not holding up her end of the deal), and if she doesn’t… she’s just risking getting more earache. Sarah’s advice of course is that the keyholder needs to be firm and that she needs to remind him of all those promises that were made, knowing full well that deep down the chaste male may not want to be denied right at that moment, but it is most definitely what he NEEDS in the long term.
Or, perhaps Mistress R gave the perfect riposte when I my one plea for release, she asked me ‘Are you sure that’s what you want, to be released from chastity and allowed to cum?’. Now there’s a question which is open to interpretation, but which to me quite clearly meant, ‘Yes we can stop, you can cum, but don’t ask me to do this again’.
Now in my case of course Mistress R made it quite clear fairly early on (not long after the asking of the above question I believe) that I wasn’t allowed to ask to be allowed to cum, which was quite smart on her part I think. After all, I promised she would decide and I meant it. In fact I would go so far as to suggest that all women should do this as it makes the boundaries very clear cut and nips the possibility of a whiny sub in the bud (unless you like to hear him beg of course, but you can always grant permission for that at certain times if it amuses you).
In any case, permitted or not, I certainly haven’t begged to be allowed to cum since, and even that one time I only said it because I wanted to hear her say ‘No’. Actually that’s the only downside of that particular restriction, not getting to hear her say ’no’, but it’s a small price to pay I suppose. But then I have accepted my place pretty well I think.
What has happened though is that Mistress R’s orgasms have rocketed in importance to me, and they were very, very, very important to me before we even started this whole thing. Indeed I’ve always found making Mistress R cum enormously emotionally satisfying, and so now with my own releases completely out of my hands I find my desire to provide Mistress R with pleasure (and therefore to enjoy her pleasure vicariously) is growing stronger and stronger.
The thing is, as I’m sure I won’t be the first male in chastity to discover, although my own level of frustrated horniness is rising steadily, Mistress R’s desire is staying somewhat the same as it always was. So there is a somewhat troublesome anomaly at present because, horny as I am I really want to make Mistress R cum every single night, and she’s more of a 2-3 times a week max kinda girl.
So naturally my innate male grumpiness has merely sought a slightly different avenue to express itself, and now that I have recognized it for what it is I feel that I must seek to control it, largely by giving myself a good talking to. After all, it is not yet even a full three days since I made Mistress R cum, even though it seems a lot, lot longer, and I need to remind myself that this is pretty normal (just as I have to remind myself that actually it’s only twenty days since I was allowed inside her, which again seems like a very long time ago) and stop feeling so hard done by.
I am very conscious that Mistress R has graciously allowed me to give over control of my orgasms to her and I absolutely do not want to do anything which will make her think twice about continuing with our arrangement. Therefore I will be making a special effort to try and dispell my grumpiness and try and focus my energy into thinking positive thoughts about the coming weekend and the lovely Femdom session that is after all only about forty-eight hours away.
I think what I’m really trying to get across to you the reader is that, you really don’t know how it’s going to affect you until you start doing this, so I really would suggest that you should start gradually and build it up. Don’t start thinking you’re going to be able to go six months (or perhaps even six weeks) straight off the bat, because I doubt very much if you will. It sounds like a really hot idea I know, but what you can’t know is how this affects you emotionally as well as physically, and as far as I’m concerned the physical effects are the lesser of the two to have to worry about.
That said I believe that now I have recognised and confronted my grumpiness I will be able to continue past Sunday if that is what Mistress R wants me to do, and as always a big part of me hopes that that is exactly what she will want me to do... But as we know, it’s not up to me, so we’ll have to wait and see.
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A big day yesterday as it was the first time this week that I managed to keep my hands off of my cock. Tough to wake up this morning with Mistress R laying next to me, knowing that I have 20 days of cum stored in my balls. Still at least I wasn’t tempted (or perhaps at liberty) to have a crafty stroke or sixty…or six hundred. Sigh…
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I’m getting lots of ideas popping into my head for my book, a lot of dialogue and ideas for ways to make the main character suffer at the hands of his wife! Hope I can remember them all when I actually start writing again. It’s always like this though, and it’s always things that need to be written much later on that I get ideas for, which is very annoying. I suppose I could try writing scenes out of order, but I think that would be much harder than it sounds. I get the feeling that if I did that it wouldn’t flow quite as it should, so I’ll just have to hope that when I get a chance to get on with it, the ideas will still be floating around my head, waiting to be used.
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