I tried to post his in the comments but it’s too long so I’m posting it here, apologies in advance for my tone.
On the one hand I can see how your wife having her sexual freedom would make her more confident and more like the dominant personality you want her to be, on the other I know damn well I couldn’t cope with this. Unlike your wife, I am more like a female when it comes to separating love and sex, (i.e. I can’t).
I’ve never had a one night stand, and even though Mistress R and I slept together on our first date, I already knew it was going to be a relationship, turned out it was a lot more than that. I guess this is why it would be so hard for me to do this, just as I couldn’t have sex with someone else either. There’s no way I could honestly say ‘it didn’t mean anything it was just sex’ and there’s not much chance that I could believe it of her either…
That said, I did pick up on the point you made that you would never forgive her if you find out she was cheating on you, and I agree that if your partner is dead set on the idea of having extra-marital sex then it’s better to be honest about it, so I agree I would rather be cuckolded than cheated on, but… I can’t help feeling that it would lead to me wanting to sleep with someone else out of ‘revenge’ (not so submissive now, eh?). In the event though I imagine I would struggle to go through with it, which would probably leave me feeling resentful and eventually looking for a divorce…
Bizarrely, to my mind, Mistress R used to say to me things like ‘If you ever leave me I’ll kill you’, but she never really threatened me like that if I slept with someone else… in fact from comments she’s made in the past I believe she’d probably be a lot more tolerant of it than I would be. I can’t remember the last time she said that actually, I guess she’s realized that I’m never likely to leave her now, either that or she’s not as bothered as she used to be!
You say that your wife was always open to the idea of an ‘open’ marriage, even from a young age, and you are obviously of a similar mind. I think perhaps if you are both of that sort of mindset it is more likely to work than if one of you isn’t. Which is a pretty obvious statement I suppose… what I mean is that if you both start a relationship swearing your faithfulness above all else, I think it might be a lot more troublesome to try and change that later.
A lot of cuckolding stories you hear tend to always originate with the man putting forward the idea, the wife being reluctant, but eventually going for it and everything being wonderful, but you rarely hear about the times when it goes wrong. Miss Christina mentioned in passing the other day that she knew a couple who had involved a third party in their marriage and it had not gone well. I suspect there’s a lot of people for whom it does go wrong, just as it does in the swinging scene (especially where one partner feels forced into going along with it).
I just personally don’t quite understand how if you start having sex with someone, how do you not start having ‘feelings’ for them? Especially if they see the same person more than once? I mean ‘Q’ has a regular ‘lover’, that would worry me for a start, because what’s to stop her falling for him and wanting to go live with him? I’m sure ‘k’ would protest that that isn’t going to happen because of x,y and z… and given the dynamic of your particular relationship then maybe not, but for most people embarking on this kind of adventure how do you really KNOW? I just think it’s a very dangerous game to play, especially when the stakes are so high.
I guess this whole female dominance thing is a bit of a knife edge in a way. A lot of us would like our women to be sexually confident, demanding, etc etc, but the more that’s true the more likely it is to cross the line. Kind of like men who say they want a nymphomaniac for a wife, and then are surprised that he can’t give her enough sex to keep her satisfied…
Like ‘k’ said above, the longer this goes on the more it is about ‘her’ and the less it is about ‘you’. Which makes it sound rather masochistic to say the least (which it’s pretty clear from his blog that ‘k’ is anyway).
Then again, you said before that it has had an amazing effect on your marriage, so maybe I’m completely wrong. You also said that you tried to get her into ‘kink’ but she had no interest, so am I to understand that your relationship is actually more vanilla and this cuckolding thing isn’t so much about Femdom as simply a one sided ‘swinging’ thing?
Sorry if some of my response here sounds a bit… tetchy, I guess that shows that deep down I’m definitely not someone who could handle it, I’m afraid I would rather live a completely vanilla lifestyle and have Mistress R to myself, than risk everything. Probably makes me sound a little dull, but I’m not one to pretend.
Actually, just thinking about this subject makes me feel quite depressed, I think I need to go and do something fun now.
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