This morning I read a post on Mistress Ivey's blog (here), which concerns tease and denial.and the frequency thereof. While I am in absolute agreement with Mistress Ivey that it's important to keep the teasee sufficiently teased to maintain their interest (no one wants to be 'locked and left' after all), I do find it hard to believe that many people would really be prepared to invest thirty minutes a day on the subject.
She does say that this could be broken up throughout the day, which would be fantastic of course, except that I see Mistress R for about three minutes in the morning and then not until 5:45pm. After exercising, showering, eating dinner and washing up it's 7:00pm, which gives us say four to four and a half hours before bed, and she's supposed to spend thirty minutes of that teasing my cock, every single night?
Really?
My first reaction was of course mild indignation, I should print this and show it to Mistress R, and show her what a slacker she is... thought my 'denied-cock' brain. This lasted all of about three seconds, when my actually 'common-sense' brain took over, slapped my 'denied-cock' brain around the ears and told it to shut the fuck up and stop being so stupid.
My second reaction was, that only a man would write something so ridiculous.
I mean, I'm all for encouraging the woman to tease more, you'd be hard pressed to find a man who would like less teasing after all. I would probably cut off my right arm to be teased mercilessly for thirty minutes every single day. Or at least my left arm... and if a woman does read that and decide that that's what she wants to do, then that's brilliant, really, truly fantastic.
But I can't help feeling it's just a little unrealistic and just a little irresponsible.
Because for many of us, persuading our ladies to take control of our cocks and orgasms isn't easy. And if I had even hinted that, actually, for this to work Mistress R needed to devote three and half hours a week to keeping me sufficiently stimulated, I don't think.... in fact I know she would have told me flat out to forget it.
Yes, there needs to be teasing, and yes the more the better. The more the frustration builds the more he's going to love it. It doesn't always have to be full on stroking, it can be as simple as a quick rub through his pants in the kitchen, or just having him worship your feet while you sit in front of the TV or talk to your friend on the phone (actually the second one would be really hot!).
But, and this is IMPORTANT, stipulating a thirty minute minimum period per day is as good a way as I can think of making something that should be enjoyable and fun into a chore for the woman, and you know what, if it becomes a chore she's going to begin resenting it and the whole thing is gonna go tits up.
After all, this is supposed to be all about the woman and what she wants. Isn't it? That's what you probably said when you persuaded her to take control, but sure, you have needs too, she understands that, and after all she likes to see you squirm and throb in her hand, she loves that you struggle to hold back when she knows that you really want to release all that pent-up frustration you're carrying around in those full balls, so she obliges you by teasing you as much as she wants to.
Okay, maybe you don't get as much as you'd like, or as much as you thought you would, in that case you need to bring this to her attention, but if you can persuade your wife to tease you for at least thirty minutes a day, every day, then please either email me or leave your phone number in the comments below and next time I have a salary review you can be my negotiator!
Let's face it, we're guys, we want constant stimulation. No guy in our position would ever say 'I've had enough now, you can stop', we'd let them stroke our cocks until they'd rubbed the skin away and our cocks were red raw, and probably still want just a little more. But to some extent that mismatch of supply and demand increases the value of the pleasure we receive when we are granted teasing.
I guess what I'm most concerned about is that someone who wants to get into this lifestyle will read that and immediately think that that is 'normal', and that will lead to dissatisfaction on his part and resentment on both sides when he claims that that is what should be happening, because he read it on the internet.
You only have to look around at a few of the more prominent chastity blogs, to see that the course of male chastity does not always run smoothly. Our old friend 'k' hasn't even been allowed out of his device for the last month, and it's not uncommon to see posts apologizing on behalf of the blog owner for the lack of new content because 'not much has been happening' for various reasons (illness, time apart, tiredness, etc etc).
Anyway, I think I've made my point now, so I'll shut up and bobby off.
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