Always hoping...

As I was walking around a park yesterday in my lunch break yesterday, my thoughts turned to chastity, and the fact that we really have moved beyond me wanting to be denied. I can't remember the last time I 'hoped' Mistress would tease me but not let me cum, which was something I was always hoping for in the early days, now it rarely crosses my mind. It is a whole different feeling to constantly wonder when you will be allowed to cum instead of hoping you won't be allowed to, and it's perhaps worth mentioning that it can take quite a while to make that switch and for it to 'stick'. I would say it's perhaps only been in the last few months, or perhaps slightly longer that I have truly been able to accept that Mistress is 100% on board and simply get on with waiting for that elusive chance to cum.
As Mistress R commented in the last few days, the beauty of our system is that I simply have no idea when I am going to be allowed to cum. I am currently on day twenty three, my previous record is forty two days and I doubt (though I can't be sure) that Mistress would push me much more than fifty days as a next step. So all I can really say with any degree of confidence is that sometime between now and about the 24th of August I will probably be allowed to cum. And that's it. It could be a matter of hours, days or weeks, I simply have no idea. Our next Femdom session is only a fortnight away, so maybe it will be then, which would make it either thirty seven or thirty eight days depending which day we do it on, but would she really let me cum just five days away from setting a new record? Well, as Mistress R said, she doesn't feel that records are important, all that matters is that I only get to cum when she desires it, which is exactly as it should be.


I must confess that I am slightly surprised by the results of the poll so far... but I suppose the phrasing of the question was open to interpretation and one man's 'rarely' could be another man's 'sometimes'. Truly I would love to be able to have voted in one of the top two categories, but for me that particularly deep level of sub space where I would overcome any and all reservations* to please my Mistress is quite a rare treat.

*Please see my earlier post where I described what I meant by this.