Q: Robert has commented several times that you deny him the sight of your breasts by wearing your bra in bed, is that deliberate? Some Domme's reserve the sight of their body for their 'lovers', do you think you might deny Robert the sight of your body more as time goes on?
Mistress R: Sometimes it's deliberate, but sometimes it's just convenience... I don't have any plans to deny him more as time goes on, I know he loves it... which is good! I suppose I could consider using it as a punishment if I thought it was necessary, it's not something I'd thought of before, but well, maybe!
Robert: I bloody hope not! And there won't be any 'lovers' either!
Q: What would you say is the best way to persuade a woman (in particular my wife) to do what you are doing with Robert?
Mistress R: Be prepared for her to reject the idea totally the first time you bring it up, just because it goes against everything she's believed in since forever! Probably a good idea is to get her to read Rob's blog to describe how we started and how much it's improved things for us, and how happy we are now. Also I would suggest that giving her stuff to read that she can look at at her own pace is better than constantly asking her about it, because I think she'll need time to digest the idea without feeling like she's being pressured into it. She'll probably also need quite a lot of reassurance that you only want to make the relationship better and that it's not a negative comment, or critiscim on how you feel about her. It's worth emphasizing the positives she will get from it and again testimonies from myself and other people in this position might well help. Overall I think she's got to come round to the idea in her own time, because it is such a big change. Again I could point you in the direction of the poll I mentioned before where only a tiny percentage of the women who voted would want to go back once they had experienced the benefits of male chastity. Good luck.
Robert: I would agree with Mistress R about giving her stuff to read in her own time, I would also suggest that you try to dissuade her from searching the internet, because it seems anytime a potential keyholder does that they end up finding all sorts of weird shit.
Mistress R (interjects): Also I would say don't jump in with anything too extreme at the beginning, because you will scare her off. Particularly chastity cages etc... better to start off with a bit of tease and denial and the honour system for short lengths of time while she gets her head round the fact that you do want to be denied.
Robert: Yeah, I think to be honest, though you might want to be locked up properly I think that's something you should work towards, get her on board with the whole T&D thing first and then bring that up later once she's got used to the idea if you still want to.
One thing I would say, is that despite the fact that I have this blog and the fact that we have a Femdom session every month, I really don't think we are all that 'kinky'. It's easy to think your wife will never go for this because she's too vanilla, and that may be true, but really, it's not like you are asking her to shove a marrow up your arse or piss on you, all she's doing is deciding when you get to cum. I strongly believe that it's all in the presentation, and my advice to you would be to describe what you want in the least 'pervy' language possible, perhaps you could reference how much you liked it when you first met and you would make out and be left hanging or something....
Mistress R (interjects again): Yes, that's a good analogy. I think one of the great things we've found is the uncertainty of not knowing each time whether each sexual encounter is going to result in an orgasm for the man or not, makes each time more exciting.
Robert: I've seen that written before about recapturing the thrill of teenage years, where you got rubbed through your jeans and had to walk home with a throbbing cock, I'd say that's pretty true, and if you use that analogy to explain to your wife then she might understand better than if you go straight for the 'I want you to lock me in this steel cage for six months' angle.
Q: Have you ever thought about having Robert fuck you with a strap-on?
Mistress R: No.
Robert: That would be difficult. Not being locked I'm going to get hard, which is then going to get in the way, isn't it? I have read about this though, about guys in chastity belts who fuck their wives with strap-on's. I guess it would be cool, since you don't have to worry about stopping yourself cumming, and your Mistress can have whatever size cock she chooses. Kind of a mixed blessing for the guy I suppose, but I guess it would be cool to try out a really huge cock!
Q: I've been reading your blog for several months now and you guys seem to have an unusual dynamic, in that you practice male chastity without a device, yet you seem to go longer than most men on the 'honor' system would. At the same time, you practice Femdom but not in a major or lifestyle way. Yet as I follow your progress I could imagine you guys gradually getting more and more into the 'lifestyle' and you controlling Robert more and more, if not quite to the point of an FLR. Do you think this is accurate, and how do you see the future panning out?
Mistress R: I'm not 100% clear what you mean, right from the start I was adamant that I didn't want a 24/7 Femdom lifestyle and since we've introduced the chastity element (which is 24/7, albeit flexible) this seems to have given us a balance that we are both happy with. I have no desire to change our relationship outside the bedroom (so to speak) and I definitely don't want an FLR.
Robert: I'm not convinced that I go much longer than most men on the honour system, that said I don't know of that many, most of the people who blog about male chastity tend to be locked. As far as the rest of it goes, while I couldn't ever see us having an FLR, it's possible that over time Mistress R could decide to increase her realm of control. After all two years ago this would have seemed ridiculous, and yet here we are.
Q: Question for Mistress R, I've never seen any mention on your blog of you having Robert masturbate for you, I regularly have my sub jerk his cock for me and make him edge over and over again until he's truly desperate to cum. Sometimes I give him something nice to look at and sometimes I am fully dressed. It's much more humiliating for him when you are dressed of course. I wonder if it is because you wish to instil in him the discipline that only your hand makes him feel pleasure, or perhaps you've just never considered the idea? If you do decide to have him masturbate for you, you can't beat making him do repeaters, that is edging, letting go for about five seconds and then edging again. I love to give him a number of times he must do this, sometimes I use a dice, or three... :) Then I let him stroke slowly for a while and then get him to do it all over again, and again! Such fun. Queen Melissa.
Mistress R: It's not something I've ever considered before, however I like the idea! So will definitely be incorporating it at some point in the future. Loving the details QM, ;).
Robert: Wow, I honestly wasn't expecting that answer from MR! I don't know what to say about that, other than that I look forward to that immensely!!!
Q: Is there anything you don't like about Male Chastity or wish was better?
Mistress R: No not really. Sorry... because it's been developing since we started it's a constantly movable feast. It's evolved as it's gone along and remains flexible depending on my wishes, so I can change anything that I'm not happy with at any time.
Robert: I think I said before the main thing is that every so often I get a little frustrated at not being able to instigate penetration, which is not necessarily to do with male chastity, but is part of 'our' agreement. And the other obvious thing is that when you are really close and you really, really want to cum you do sometimes wonder why you ever wanted this in the first place... but that's part of the whole experience and it's not really accurate to say I don't like it, as such...
Q: How do you decide when to let Robert cum and do you intend pushing him much farther in the future?
Mistress R: I don't usually plan it, it really is just down to how I feel in the moment (this is good because it keeps the whole thing spontaneous). As to pushing him further, it's hard to say, because I don't plan it, we'll just see how it goes.
Robert: I just love the uncertainty, I'd much rather go into every teasing session hoping that this will be the one rather than knowing that Mistress R has written a date three months hence on the calendar.
Q: How come Robert doesn't have a chastity belt?
Mistress R: I don't like the idea of it to be honest, just the whole inconvenience of it, the hygiene issue, I just don't like it at all. Plus, I think it's better for Rob to have to rely on his willpower and self-discipline rather than a physical restraint.
Robert: I wanted one, I really did... I loved the idea of it, and I still do. The idea of being completely at Mistress R's mercy is fucking hot after all. But if you've never tried one on then you won't understand how clunky and ungainly they really are, at least the cheaper models. It makes me laugh when I read stories where the woman ties the guy up and locks him up for a week against his will, or when you hear on a forum that some guy has just started wearing one (or his wife is making him wear one) and he's been told he's going to be locked for a month. Similarly when I saw that episode of Gigolos where one of the escort guys was locked up for several days by a customer.... I mean come on. I've tried one and it's bloody uncomfortable. You have to really want to wear it, you have to fiddle with it until it fits properly, and you have to get used to it before you can wear it long term. I know there's plenty of guys out there who do, like Thumper, and I know that once they get used to it they hate being free. I can well imagine the 'trip' of being locked and unlocked by your Mistress, I should imagine having her unlock your cock after a long period would be something quite amazing, but I simply can't imagine wearing one, not least because the one I tried made it look like I had a tennis ball down my trousers. I know there are guys that do sports or cycle in them, but I believe they are perhaps the more expensive metal ones which tend to be less bulky. My experience was that after twenty minutes I had to take it off, I guess the point is that you have to increase the wear time every day until you get used to it, but since Mistress R was so against it there really wasn't any point anyway. Besides, I love being able to get hard and feel my cock rubbing against her in bed and stuff, I love the frustration of it...
Q: When are you going to ruin one of Robert's orgasms?
Mistress R: This is something I know that Robert would quite 'like', but it's something I have so far shied away from... not sure why, maybe it just seems a step too far? Once I've done it, you'll know I'll have broken a previously immoveable barrier. Rob should be careful what he wishes for though, because who knows, once I've done it once I might I really like it!
Robert: Yes I would definitely like Mistress R to do this, I love the idea of her fully exploiting her evil pixie side and taking her hand away just before I start to cum.... I've had them before, some before I even knew what they were, courtesy of a somewhat sexless previous girlfriend, and some self inflicted out of curiosity before Mistress R took away my freedom to 'self abuse'. Physically it's interesting that you can cum and stay hard and even cum again straight away (if you really ruin it properly), and still not feel 'satisfied'. I love the idea that Mistress could let me cum but keep me firmly in that 'zone' and if she wanted to make me go a really long time without a proper orgasm then it would probably be a good idea to ruin an orgasm every so often anyway.
Well, you read what Mistress R said, so maybe she'll go for it one day. I hope she does, and I hope she does like it too, I'd really love for her to get to that next stage of evilness. I have to admit the idea of her adding that to her repertoire is really exciting, I'd love to think that in the future she might make me wait several weeks and then let go just before I start to cum and then make me clean it up with my tongue anyway... and then do it again, just because she can!
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