The hill...

Having read some of my recent comments (and those of Eric M), Mistress was asking me about the post-orgasm slump I mentioned. I think the hill analogy is a really good one. You start at the bottom of the hill on day one, and each day you climb a little higher, the air gets thinner and you feel a little more 'dizzy' every day until you cum and then you have the adrenalin rush of the slide back to the bottom.
As things progress and you get higher up the hill, you start to feel the dizzy buzz more and more and though you want the rush to the bottom (which equally is getting more exciting as you start from higher up each time) you also start to wonder if you really want to be back at the bottom of the hill, is the high speed rush of the slide worth the slog to get back to where the buzz begins.
And then at some point (for me it's about 35 days) you realise that at higher altitudes the lack of oxygen in the air makes you feel crazy good and though you might turn around and look down the hill and think, 'Wow, look at that, it would feel amazing to slide down there right now', there's this little voice on your shoulder which tells you that, 'Yes it will be an awesome ride... but it's over really, really quick and look how long it took you to get here, wouldn't you rather stay here and keep feeling that buzz, don't you want to keep moving up the hill and get more of that crazy good feeling?'
And then on your other shoulder there's another (slightly weaker) voice saying... 'You know you want to take the ride, think how good it's going to feel to fly down that hill, yes you'll have to start your climb again, but you'll soon start to feel the buzz again.'
To which the other voice counters, 'Yeah, but in the time it's going to take you to get back here, you could have been way up there...' and so it goes on and on and on.
I do think that there comes a point actually where one single orgasm doesn't completely empty the tank, or rather take you all the way to the bottom of the hill... I've noticed this recently, like there's some kind of cumulative effect of all these denial periods one after another. I mean I haven't had any 'breaks' since we started this (nor do I want any) and sometimes it surprises me after being allowed to cum how soon I start to feel properly horny again. Of course you are still nearer the bottom than you would be if you hadn't cum, but it's not quite as bad as feeling like you are right down there on the flat grass before you even take your first step on the hill.
I've read this before actually, where people say that the first orgasm is so violent that it's almost ruined because it's too intense to really enjoy properly. I can understand that, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't and it doesn't seem entirely dependent on the length of time waited either.
Which is why although it sounds a little bit crazy I can totally understand the appeal of permanent denial, I'm not sure it's possible without a device no matter how strong willed you might think you are. But if you can go months and months (as for instance Harry has) with only ruined orgasms then why not? Years are only months placed one after another at the end of the day.
Day thirty seven today and I'm feeling good. Femdom session tomorrow... will Mistress decide to make me cum?  Do I want to cum? Yes and no... obviously. If she does will she ruin it?