Eric M said: I like how you pointed out that you take things more seriously than you should because you want her to take them more serious, I can relate, and often catch myself doing the same thing. The funny thing is, it works, when they see how we take something a little more serious than we should, they slowly condition themselves to understand its importance to us. Good post, and congrats on approaching your record!
Thanks Eric. I can't remember how long it's been since I had a confession to make to Mistress R about touching my cock, but it must be six weeks or more. I don't know what changed. Even a few months ago when I would have to tell Mistress R it was... difficult, but more because I would be trying not to laugh, because it felt weird and silly.
This time was so different, I really felt like I had let my Mistress down. I mean, tonight she read my post from last night and she said I shouldn't worry about it so much and she really didn't think it was the reason why she found it hard to cum. But, she also said that she agreed with what I said about it being important and that especially in a situation like ours trust is paramount. She also said she understood what I meant about having to tell her because she was thinking about letting me go on top.
Of course part of me thinks, damn, you know... you fucked that up for yourself there. But crucially it wasn't telling her that fucked it up, if I hadn't done it in the first place I would have had nothing to confess.
I was a little afraid that Mistress might think I was totally overreacting and taking it far too seriously, and I'm actually very pleased that she hasn't taken that stance. That would be an easy course to take, since it did rather stifle what was shaping up to be a rather hot sex session...and she commented tonight that I did seem rather stressed about it, so it was obviously quite apparent. But the last thing someone in my position would ever want to hear is 'It's only a game, it really doesn't matter'.
I thought Mistress handled it really well actually. Of course the obvious thing to do would be to break out the paddle, but actually, riding my cock while telling me how my actions had affected the amount of pleasure I would be receiving was really quite humbling. It was so strange laying there with her riding my cock and feeling that I didn't deserve it.
Actually I can't think of a better punishment for what I did. On the one hand it was lovely to watch her riding me, but on the other it was as though my body wouldn't really let me take the pleasure from it that I didn't deserve. My cock was rock hard when Mistress got off me, but... you know, it actually made me think of Harry Haversackers and his numbing cream trick, I kind of feel like I experienced something similar - without the cream! At least I enjoyed the slaps afterwards...
;)
I think if this would have happened six months ago Mistress might have handled it somewhat differently, and it is very encouraging to see that change in her. On reflection it could have been a tricky situation, she rightly wanted to put me at ease because she could see that I was a bit stressed about it, but she didn't cross the line between doing that and undermining our F/m relationship. I have to say I'm very impressed and proud of her right now, she is steadily turning into the Queen I truly wish her to become.
No comments:
Post a Comment