Last night was incredible, I had waited so long for the parachute to be deployed that I was almost expecting it to be a little disappointing. It was anything but. It really was very intense, and the really great thing about it was that Mistress could apply such pressure to my balls just by pulling the string tighter. I really doubt that if Mistress was physically pulling my balls directly she would have been able to apply such pressure or rather that she would have felt comfortable doing it. It really was right on the edge of being too much, which is absolute perfection! I can still feel a bit of a stretch in my balls now, which feels so very nice.
Every time I felt like it was getting to the point where I was about to ask Mistress to stop, she let go of the string and stroked my cock and it was just heavenly. And even then when Mistress was just stroking my cock the weight of the parachute around my balls felt amazing. I cannot wait for it to make another appearance. I wouldn't want it every single time, but once or twice a month would be fantastic. Or maybe three times a month.... four? Actually no, because I want Mistress to use the other stuff that languishes in the drawer too. But definitely once or twice a month would be wonderful.
Actually, it was because last night was so good that I kinda got myself in trouble...
I woke up this morning and dozed for a while, and my thoughts inevitably drifted to last night and the amazing teasing that Mistress gave me. Soon I was rock hard and before I even knew what I was doing I was stroking my cock. I hardly even realized I was doing it, but after about a minute I kinda thought, hang on, I'm not supposed to be doing this and let go.
I knew I had to tell Mistress about it, and I wanted to wait until we were in bed. But no sooner were we in bed tonight than I was kneeling between her legs while she stroked my rock hard cock, her nails digging into my shaft. It was really hot and I was really conflicted because I knew I had to tell her, but I kinda didn't want her to stop either. But then I thought what if she pulls me on top of her now and let's me go on top?
How would she feel if I tell her afterwards that I touched my cock this morning, it would feel like I cheated her twice and I wouldn't enjoy it like I should have anyway. So I stopped kissing her and confessed as she was stroking my cock. She asked me for exact details and then stopped touching me and pushed me down between her legs.
I felt really bad. Truth be told, Mistress doesn't take this rule as seriously as you might think and she would say, it doesn't matter its only a bit of fun, etc etc... but it bothered me all the same.
Mistress struggled a little to reach orgasm, albeit it was a good one when it came and that made me feel better for a moment or two. Then she laid down beside me and started stroking my cock. I was hard pretty quickly and Mistress was rougher than usual with my balls (which was sooooo good!) and then she dragged her nails across them and up my cock, which made my cock expand about another inch around! Fuck me that felt incredible!
I wanted to ask her to punish me, to paddle or whip my ass... I really wanted her to absolve my guilt... that sounds overly dramatic but I really felt like that. But I didn't feel right about it somehow. It's for Mistress to decide if I am to be punished and I was worried that she'd think I was taking it too seriously (over analytical, me?). I'm guessing since our Femdom session is only a few days away she will save it for then.
I sincerely apologized to Mistress again for touching my cock and she grabbed it and straddled my body before sinking down onto my aching meat. She looked so gorgeous riding my cock in her white lacy bra. I desperately wanted to ask her to remove it, but I didn't feel in any position to do so. In fact as much as I loved having my cock inside her, I felt I didn't deserve it at all.
"I don't deserve this Mistress..." I whispered to her, feeling a little foolish, actually.
"No, you don't," she said. "Which is why I won't be giving you nearly as long as you would have had if you hadn't touched your cock. Perhaps that will emphasise to you how much better things would be if you kept your hands off your cock."
She rode me a little while longer and then laid down next to me again, she grabbed my wet, slippery cock and pumped it hard and fast and then gave it a good few hard slaps. I really felt the backs of her rings on the last couple (kind of ironic that those symbols of eternal love should sting so much)... but I liked it. My balls got a nice slap too.
She told me that was all I was getting tonight (and that was more then I deserved). My cock refused to go soft and I lay there next to her aching for her and feeling kinda bummed that I messed up, wanting to ask for more, but knowing damn well it would be completely out of order to do so.
A few months ago, if I had touched my cock I would have told Mistress R, but I wouldn't have taken it so seriously. Part of me feels that I shouldn't take it so seriously, that I'm beating myself up over something that she doesn't take all that seriously, but... this is the first time in ages I've had to confess to touching myself and it feels different now.
Maybe it's because I want her to take it more seriously, that's as good a reason as I can think of.
I asked Mistress R if my confession had thrown her off a little since she had struggled to cum. She said, my timing could have been a lot better but she thought she was just tired. I explained why I had had to tell her when I did, since I couldn't have let her give me any special treats knowing that I had to confess afterwards and she agreed that I had done the right thing. She was also pleased that I had told her and not tried to hide it from her.
I think it was important to tell her. Aside from the fact that I am 'obliged' to tell her, the way we play this is all about trust and I never want Mistress to doubt for a second that she can trust me when I tell her I haven't touched my cock or that I haven't made myself cum.
Obviously I wished I hadn't done it, but even more I really wish I hadn't done it so that I didn't have to confess to Mistress R. I think actually, that hurt much more than the paddle would have done. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have to confess to making myself cum. Not that I have any intention of putting myself in that position.
Well, this post is getting a little too deep, I think... putting everything else aside, it was lovely to make Mistress cum again and feeling my cock inside her beautiful, silky smooth pussy was just wonderful (even if I plainly didn't deserve such luxury).
In about twelve minutes I will be starting day thirty three of my chastity period and actually I noticed something cool today. If you look on my orgasm page you will see a record for the number of Mistress R's orgasms between mine, and as you might imagine the record was set during my forty two day chastity period, when Mistress had fourteen lovely orgasms.
Mistress has equalled that record tonight, during a chastity period of only thirty two days, which just shows how much quicker Mistress is racking up those orgasms. That and the ever increasing ratio of Mistress R's orgasms to mine gives me several crumbs of comfort at least. I know I will be punished for my transgression on Sunday morning, but that is nothing really compared to the weight off my shoulders now that I have confessed to my beautiful Mistress R.
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