It's kind of confusing, to want your Mistress to ruin your orgasm... I think the best way I can explain it is that it's a bit like being whipped or paddled, because in some ways it's not that I particularly enjoy it of itself, it's that I enjoy the fact that it is Mistress's choice for it to happen. I guess it's an extension of the chastity thing in that just as most men would never surrender their freedom to orgasm to their partner, even fewer men would willingly push themselves to the brink of orgasm (and just beyond) and then take their hand away...
Knowing that Mistress was intending to ruin my orgasm set up a real conflict in my head, even as I was willing myself to the edge I found myself also seemingly resisting, leaving my cock incredibly hard and throbbing with frustration. It was as intense as it was ultimately unsatisfying, and as I said yesterday I loved that Mistress did it again with no prompting from me, and judging from her comments afterwards she intends to keep trying until she really nails it!
:) :) :) :) :)
I said I wanted her to keep growing into her role and becoming meaner and this is exactly the kind of thing which allows her to display her growing control over me and I just love it. I might not have loved it at the precise second it happened, just as I wouldn't say I love it at the precise moment my arse is being paddled, but it's all part of the bigger picture and I love that Mistress is slowly embracing and (I hope) enjoying this lifestyle, even if sometimes it does seem a little bit strange.
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