Yesterday I showed Mistress R my post about our fun time in the kitchen, I wasn't expecting a 'conversation' to come out of it, but it did. Mistress R said that the reason she does not have me on top very often is because I tend to get cramp and last time she allowed me to cum while on top (if you remember) I was in a massive cramp as I was cumming. This is true, since I had my operation I do tend to get cramp much worse than I used to, and it seems to be triggered by putting my legs at a certain angle...
As for taking Mistress R from behind, it wasn't that common an occurrence even before our chastity play started (although we used to do it with her lying on her side all the time, which we both loved - especially as I could see Mistress R's gorgeous ass, both a blessing and a curse when you are trying not to cum mind you!) and I've always associated that with Mistress R wanting me to fuck her hard and fast...
Which obviously isn't going to be easy given that I am only getting to cum roughly once every fourteen days.
While I personally don't miss these positions enough to give up denial, it's always been a serious concern of mine that I didn't want our chastity experiment to detract from Mistress R's pleasure in any way and as I told her last night I really want her to be able to use my cock for her pleasure in any way she wants.
A cock ring goes a long way to helping when you get a mild cramp, since it stops that instant deflation that might otherwise occur, and as far as being on top I have managed a reasonable length of time without cumming while on top (albeit I've also only managed some very delicate strokes before having to stop pretty damn quick on another occasion too).
During our conversation Mistress R did say that she loves having me on top and being fucked from behind, which I feel bad about knowing that she's been missing out on that this last eighteen months... my concern is that as I have noted on here before, since I have been denied consecutively for so long, there really isn't much delay any more between orgasm and the ache returning (which in some ways is brilliant, obviously!), so even the idea of fitting in a hard fuck before I get 'desperate' again seems a little unrealistic to me.
It would be easy for me to conclude that I have given control to Mistress R and am thus absolved of any responsibility, but I do not believe that to be fair and what is bothering me more than anything at the moment is that despite the massive positives which chastity has brought, it has also put us in a position where Mistress R is missing out on something which she enjoys.
I'm sure I'm not the first chaste male to encounter this problem, so any input from you guys would be welcome. I know Harry's wife is keen on numbing his cock with cream and I must admit that has crossed my mind, what a pity that it's necessary to wear a condom with that method though... personally I think perhaps the simplest thing would be to make sure that Mistress R is as wet as possible (definitely post orgasm), maybe even a little stretched with her favourite glass dildo, so that the tightness of taking her from behind doesn't push me over the edge in seconds...
As much as I don't want to put the decision on Mistress R, if she wanted us to have a break from chastity I have always said that I would be totally willing to go along with that, and I still feel that way. On the other hand I feel like we've been through all this before, and maybe Mistress R doesn't honestly feel that giving up control over my cock is worth it?
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