Where I'm at, right now...

One good thing about starting this blog right now is that it's still early days for me as far as the whole chastity thing goes. I've had an interest in it for a long time, albeit it was always secondary to my interest in Femdom in general. I'm quite well aware of where my interest started, it was a story on Literotica called 'Terri's Teasing Torments', which is a story about a girl who teases her new boyfriend and then threatens to split up with him unless he gives her control of his orgasms. In some ways it's a pretty mild story, but perhaps a good introduction for someone who's completely knew to the idea.

Terri's Teasing Torments Chapter One
http://www.i.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=28272

This story was always a favourite of mine for years, although I never even thought about suggesting it to my gorgeous wife (Mistress R). But then I guess I read more stories on Literotica and gradually started searching out stories that featured chastity and denial until it became more interesting to read than the Femdom stuff. I also started writing and posting chastity stories of my own, first under the name Malibuman666 and more recently under the name Robert_Anthony.

Over the last six months or so things have changed pretty dramatically. Whereas we used to have a short period of denial prior to our monthly Femdom sessions (probably 3-4 days), primarily to ensure that I was good and horny before the session began, this was gradually increased so that before our last session I had been denied for 19 days. This was great, but it still wasn't quite what I wanted... The month before I had been denied for 16 days prior to the session, but almost as soon as the session was over I wanted to be back 'on stop', I couldn't wait to be under my wife's control again.   

And there was something else too. Because I knew that being allowed to cum at the end of the Femdom session would mean the end of being 'on stop', I genuinely didn't want to cum, because I really didn't want to go back to 'normal'. So I spent the session hoping that Mistress wouldn't let me cum and would extend my chastity period for a few more days.

What actually happened was much, much better. At the end of the session she allowed me to cum, but told me that I would be going straight back into chastity. This meant I could enjoy my orgasm, safe in the knowledge that it wasn't going to signify the end of the game. 

We discussed the situation somewhat and agreed that she would have control of my orgasms, whereby she could grant permission for me to cum at any time and that I would automatically be back on stop straight afterwards. Our last Femdom session was on the 27th of March and as I said, following that I was placed straight back 'on stop'. My first period of chastity lasted until Friday night (1st April), which is only 5 days, but the beauty of this new system is that there is no end date. I have no idea when I am going to be allowed to cum again. It could be tonight, it could be next week, it could be our next Femdom session (28th April) or it could be sometime in May!

Psychologically I think there's a HUGE difference between knowing that you have to wait 19 days and not knowing how long it's going to be, and crucially this change has flipped my focus from wanting to be denied and controlled to wanting to be allowed to cum. I was pretty sure this would happen, and I was pretty sure the only way to make it happen was for me to be permanently 'controlled'.

This was pretty comforting in a way. because the only doubts I ever had about this whole thing were that I was ever going to be able to make the switch from wanting to be denied to wanting to cum (as mental as that sounds), and all it really took was that decision being taken out of my hands. Now instead of hoping for my chastity period to start, I spend my time wondering when I WILL be allowed to cum, which is MUCH better. But actually still hoping it isn't too soon, or too often!

I really hope that this new system will remain in force and gradually my wife/Mistress will become more comfortable with her new position of power and will exploit it accordingly.