Wow, 193 votes in my latest poll, that's quite remarkable, thanks to everyone who took part. As ever the full results are available on the 'Polls' tab, but it's worth noting a few things...
The most voted for option (with more than a fifth of all the votes) was 1-2 months, but if you've gone longer than that you are in the minority with only 21% of you clocking up 2 months or more. Similarly 26% of you haven't gone longer than a fortnight and the centre-point falls somewhere between 21 and 28 days (which is where my record is).
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Frozen in (sub)space...
'k' left this comment on my blog yesterday, and I thought it warranted further discussion:
k said... Robert...i can so relate to being "frozen" or locked in sub-space!...There's no other drug like it in the world!!!
I often feel myself in this state, trapped between wanting to ask for something (but not penetration or cumming obviously, since these are not things I am permitted to ask for!), not wanting to 'top from the bottom', wanting Mistress R to be the one who gets to decide exactly what I am allowed or deserve and generally feeling in a state of 'limbo'. It's a hard thing to explain or describe but I'm sure many of us have felt it at one time or another.
As much as it is frustrating, this inability to just ask for something, I love feeling that way because it means I have slipped into that wonderful state of mind that comes with submission. This is accompanied by the most wonderful feelings of deep love for Mistress R and an extra sensitivity which renders every finger light touch almost capable of making me explode.
The interesting thing is that as time goes by Mistress R seems to be able to bring on this feeling with less and less effort. Last night I again made the decision to go to bed before midnight, and read some more porn before bed (check out my new 'Literotica' tab to see what I'm reading). Mistress R came to bed about 12:20am, no wine tonight though... But of course, the closeness of her silky smooth skin combined with the after effects of what I'd read a short while earlier soon conspired to produce a rock hard erection and since I 'think' I might be allowed to cum on Sunday, I decided that ten days was long enough to wait to use my first 'request'.
'Please may I touch my cock Mistress?' I asked, and Mistress R granted me permission, a slightly amused tone in her voice. Instead of rolling onto my back and jerking my cock I stayed right where I was and steadily fucked my hand as I kissed her shoulder. Feeling her so close was so wonderful even though she wasn't making any attempt to join in, but the thing that made it so good was how she spoke to me as I felt my cock sliding back and forth through my fist.
After reminding me not to allow myself cum, she told me that, even as I was enjoying this I should be thinking how much better it would be the next time she decided to tease me herself...
I whispered to her that I couldn't wait to eat her pussy again, and she replied that I should focus on thinking about tasting her as I jerked my cock, think about being between her legs and worshipping her beautiful pussy...
Then she looked up at the clock projected on the ceiling and told me that was enough and it was time to go to sleep. My cock was like a telegraph pole, and once again as I obediently removed my hand my cock seemed to throb still harder, my breathing seemed more laboured. It seemed to take forever until I calmed down and even then when I felt I could roll over and go to sleep, my cock got hard again.
I have come to the conclusion that what really brings out my sub-side is not fetish clothing or the threat of the paddle, but simply the confidence in Mistress R's voice. I'm not talking about a 'put-on' Domme voice, it's simply that Mistress R now knows that I will do what she tells me and as such her voice naturally conveys authority.
If Mistress R tells me to stop touching she knows that I will, if she tells me to squeeze my balls or edge myself, or even whip my own cock and balls, she knows that I would do those things without question. I think this is a valuable piece of information for any of you reading this who want to live this way but are still taking those first steps.
If you really want this, then first and foremost you have to help her build her confidence. And you do that by doing what she tells you to do. If she says she's not letting you cum today, don't whine, this is what you told her you wanted. How annoying must it be to have your husband/boyfriend/lover tell you that he wants you to control his orgasms and even access to his cock, only for him to moan and bitch when you do as he asked?
In the beginning she's not going to feel comfortable giving you 'orders', and I know it's pretty basic stuff here but the way you allow her confidence to grow is to do as she says! Just do it. The better you play your part the easier it will be for her to play hers.
It won't happen overnight either, Mistress R has had seven months of compliance from me* and she has come on leaps and bounds since we started. But I fully expect that in another year or so (assuming Mistress R doesn't change her mind about continuing this) she will have become even more confident. It's all about the long game, which isn't to say that I am in any way dissatisfied now, it's just that I think it will be even better the longer it goes on and the more 'normal' my sexual submission becomes to her.
So if you are in the process of trying to persuade your wife that this is what you would like to do (and I know that isn't easy) just think ahead and try and instil into yourself the discipline to respect the authority that you want her to assume. Every time you moan, whinge, bitch, cheat or ignore her instructions you are undermining her confidence, and in the long run all you are doing is undermining the progress of your relationship to where you say you want it to be.
* I know some of you will be thinking, yeah well what about the illegal touching? And I admit that I haven't been as good in that area as I would like and I am trying to improve my performance regarding that facet of her control. However, more importantly (I feel), I have never cum without her permission, I have never 'asked' for penetration (since she told me that I wasn't allowed to), albeit one could argue that I did address this through my blog and, in hindsight, I do regret that. I have followed her instructions when she gives me permission to touch my cock, and I have only asked her to let me cum once (since she told me that I wasn't allowed to ask) and that was right at the start and I only said it because I wanted to hear her tell me 'no'.
And that's another thing, you have to be prepared for things to not be 'quite' the way you expected them to be. I didn't expect that Mistress R would forbid me from touching my cock without permission (and punish me for the inevitable infringements), I never thought that she would impose a rule that only she could initiate penetration, and it certainly never occurred to me that she wouldn't allow me to ask/beg to be allowed to cum! Indeed I fully expected that she would eventually want to hear me begging to cum, just so that she could tell me 'no'. But I guess she doesn't need to hear it, she knows I want to cum, doesn't she. And I guess it makes it a lot easier not to give in if I'm not constantly bleating in her ear.
The truth is that each of these were not exactly what I was expecting, but it's funny how quickly you adapt, get used to, and even come to like new rules, especially when you want your wife/lover/Mistress to feel empowered. Sure there was a time when I got a little frustrated about the lack of penetration that Mistress wanted, but I am over it now. Even if she offered me the chance to change any of the rules she has made, I would not change any of them. Not a single one. Because I see that all the rules and all the little things are part of the whole package, and the difference I see in Mistress R is a wonderful thing. I wanted to be sexually submissive to her and that's what I am, we are both probably happier than we have ever been and I genuinely hope that over the coming years Mistress R's confidence and dominance continues to grow at whatever pace is right for her.
Obviously I don't know for sure where this may lead, but I am confident in the strength of our relationship and know that we are smart enough not to let anything undermine the solidity of our 18 year marriage, because that remains the most important thing.
k said... Robert...i can so relate to being "frozen" or locked in sub-space!...There's no other drug like it in the world!!!
I often feel myself in this state, trapped between wanting to ask for something (but not penetration or cumming obviously, since these are not things I am permitted to ask for!), not wanting to 'top from the bottom', wanting Mistress R to be the one who gets to decide exactly what I am allowed or deserve and generally feeling in a state of 'limbo'. It's a hard thing to explain or describe but I'm sure many of us have felt it at one time or another.
As much as it is frustrating, this inability to just ask for something, I love feeling that way because it means I have slipped into that wonderful state of mind that comes with submission. This is accompanied by the most wonderful feelings of deep love for Mistress R and an extra sensitivity which renders every finger light touch almost capable of making me explode.
The interesting thing is that as time goes by Mistress R seems to be able to bring on this feeling with less and less effort. Last night I again made the decision to go to bed before midnight, and read some more porn before bed (check out my new 'Literotica' tab to see what I'm reading). Mistress R came to bed about 12:20am, no wine tonight though... But of course, the closeness of her silky smooth skin combined with the after effects of what I'd read a short while earlier soon conspired to produce a rock hard erection and since I 'think' I might be allowed to cum on Sunday, I decided that ten days was long enough to wait to use my first 'request'.
'Please may I touch my cock Mistress?' I asked, and Mistress R granted me permission, a slightly amused tone in her voice. Instead of rolling onto my back and jerking my cock I stayed right where I was and steadily fucked my hand as I kissed her shoulder. Feeling her so close was so wonderful even though she wasn't making any attempt to join in, but the thing that made it so good was how she spoke to me as I felt my cock sliding back and forth through my fist.
After reminding me not to allow myself cum, she told me that, even as I was enjoying this I should be thinking how much better it would be the next time she decided to tease me herself...
I whispered to her that I couldn't wait to eat her pussy again, and she replied that I should focus on thinking about tasting her as I jerked my cock, think about being between her legs and worshipping her beautiful pussy...
Then she looked up at the clock projected on the ceiling and told me that was enough and it was time to go to sleep. My cock was like a telegraph pole, and once again as I obediently removed my hand my cock seemed to throb still harder, my breathing seemed more laboured. It seemed to take forever until I calmed down and even then when I felt I could roll over and go to sleep, my cock got hard again.
I have come to the conclusion that what really brings out my sub-side is not fetish clothing or the threat of the paddle, but simply the confidence in Mistress R's voice. I'm not talking about a 'put-on' Domme voice, it's simply that Mistress R now knows that I will do what she tells me and as such her voice naturally conveys authority.
If Mistress R tells me to stop touching she knows that I will, if she tells me to squeeze my balls or edge myself, or even whip my own cock and balls, she knows that I would do those things without question. I think this is a valuable piece of information for any of you reading this who want to live this way but are still taking those first steps.
If you really want this, then first and foremost you have to help her build her confidence. And you do that by doing what she tells you to do. If she says she's not letting you cum today, don't whine, this is what you told her you wanted. How annoying must it be to have your husband/boyfriend/lover tell you that he wants you to control his orgasms and even access to his cock, only for him to moan and bitch when you do as he asked?
In the beginning she's not going to feel comfortable giving you 'orders', and I know it's pretty basic stuff here but the way you allow her confidence to grow is to do as she says! Just do it. The better you play your part the easier it will be for her to play hers.
It won't happen overnight either, Mistress R has had seven months of compliance from me* and she has come on leaps and bounds since we started. But I fully expect that in another year or so (assuming Mistress R doesn't change her mind about continuing this) she will have become even more confident. It's all about the long game, which isn't to say that I am in any way dissatisfied now, it's just that I think it will be even better the longer it goes on and the more 'normal' my sexual submission becomes to her.
So if you are in the process of trying to persuade your wife that this is what you would like to do (and I know that isn't easy) just think ahead and try and instil into yourself the discipline to respect the authority that you want her to assume. Every time you moan, whinge, bitch, cheat or ignore her instructions you are undermining her confidence, and in the long run all you are doing is undermining the progress of your relationship to where you say you want it to be.
* I know some of you will be thinking, yeah well what about the illegal touching? And I admit that I haven't been as good in that area as I would like and I am trying to improve my performance regarding that facet of her control. However, more importantly (I feel), I have never cum without her permission, I have never 'asked' for penetration (since she told me that I wasn't allowed to), albeit one could argue that I did address this through my blog and, in hindsight, I do regret that. I have followed her instructions when she gives me permission to touch my cock, and I have only asked her to let me cum once (since she told me that I wasn't allowed to ask) and that was right at the start and I only said it because I wanted to hear her tell me 'no'.
And that's another thing, you have to be prepared for things to not be 'quite' the way you expected them to be. I didn't expect that Mistress R would forbid me from touching my cock without permission (and punish me for the inevitable infringements), I never thought that she would impose a rule that only she could initiate penetration, and it certainly never occurred to me that she wouldn't allow me to ask/beg to be allowed to cum! Indeed I fully expected that she would eventually want to hear me begging to cum, just so that she could tell me 'no'. But I guess she doesn't need to hear it, she knows I want to cum, doesn't she. And I guess it makes it a lot easier not to give in if I'm not constantly bleating in her ear.
The truth is that each of these were not exactly what I was expecting, but it's funny how quickly you adapt, get used to, and even come to like new rules, especially when you want your wife/lover/Mistress to feel empowered. Sure there was a time when I got a little frustrated about the lack of penetration that Mistress wanted, but I am over it now. Even if she offered me the chance to change any of the rules she has made, I would not change any of them. Not a single one. Because I see that all the rules and all the little things are part of the whole package, and the difference I see in Mistress R is a wonderful thing. I wanted to be sexually submissive to her and that's what I am, we are both probably happier than we have ever been and I genuinely hope that over the coming years Mistress R's confidence and dominance continues to grow at whatever pace is right for her.
Obviously I don't know for sure where this may lead, but I am confident in the strength of our relationship and know that we are smart enough not to let anything undermine the solidity of our 18 year marriage, because that remains the most important thing.
190 votes...
Wow, this poll really has taken off, I don't think I've ever had anything like that number of votes in any of my polls before. Thank you all so much for taking the trouble to vote, it is much appreciated... and if ten more of you could vote in the next five hours that would be even better!
Sunday, 6 November 2011
New Literotica tab...
I have added a new tab today, called 'Literotica'. This features a list of stories on Literotica that I think visitors to my site my appreciate since they feature themes like Femdom, creampies, cuckolding, CBT, etc etc...
And now it's 71...
As I said earlier, I knew Mistress R wanted me to worship her beautiful pussy today, and I was only too happy to oblige. She had a pretty spectacular orgasm too, even by her recent standards, which was lovely to be a part of. For my part I wasn't expecting much since I'd already been wonderfully teased in the early hours of the morning, but Mistress was obviously in a generous mood since she spent probably another ten minutes stroking and teasing me, with particular attention seeming to be focussed on clawing my balls with her nails. Needless to say that by the end I was absolutely throbbing hard, but once again, left hanging... I reckon Mistress R is holding out for next Sunday (currently proposed as the date of our next Femdom session) when I think I will be getting a mouthful of my own cum.
Feedback...
Having just read this morning's post, Mistress R (who was very happy with my feedback) said...
"I can't believe how well this is working out really, even though I did have reservations at the start, which I think it would be weird if I hadn't... but now everyone's happy."
"I can't believe how well this is working out really, even though I did have reservations at the start, which I think it would be weird if I hadn't... but now everyone's happy."
Oh yes, oh yes, oh fuck yes...
Determined not to become nocturnal on my week off, I elected to go to bed before midnight last night, leaving Mistress R to read into the early hours with her wine. Naturally I wasn't tired enough to go to sleep straight away so I read a couple of pretty filthy Femdom stories and then turned out the light.
I woke up about an hour later with a hard-on that could drive in tent pegs, it just felt ready to explode. I had been dreaming about Mistress R treating me really mean and turning me into her cum-slut and I can't even remember what else... what's more I could hear Mistress R in the bathroom brushing her teeth and I lay there silent praying that when she came in she would grant me release, just like she used to in the old days.
Ah yes, I couldn't tell you how many spectacular 2am blowjobs I've had, but of course that's all changed in the last seven months (well, I've still had a few, but without the expected ending!). In fact, initially it was one of the things that worried me about trying for male chastity without a device, because I had this idea that Mistress R would come to bed late, a little drunk, and want to let me cum only to realise what she'd done in the morning... I mean if she wanted me to cum then that's her choice, but, you know what I mean...
However, this hasn't turned out to be the case at all, and indeed wasn't the case last night.
Mistress R came into the bedroom and took off her dressing gown, I wished it wasn't so damned dark as I wanted to feast my eyes on her gorgeous body. She slid under the covers and I put my arm around her to let her know I was awake and immediately her hand went to my cock. Oh my fucking god it felt amazing...
But if I thought Mistress R was going to forget herself and jerk my cock off into her mouth I was very much mistaken. Oh no, if anything she became even more the Mistress of my dreams!
I can't believe I didn't just shoot the moment she touched me, I was so fucking turned on, but somehow I didn't. She must have sensed my condition because after just a few seconds she was asking me if I needed her to stop. It was touch and go if I'm honest, but I couldn't bear to have her stop touching me now, I needed her so much.
I told her it was okay, even though my head was swimming and I felt dizzy with absolute lust for her and the way she'd treated me in my dream. Mistress licked her fingers and teased my cock so wonderfully before squeezing my balls and then giving me some fast strokes that threatened to push me over the edge. I think she might have asked me one more time if she needed me to stop, before she stroked me some more and then dug her nails harder than she ever had before into my nuts. It was fucking amazing, and I still can't believe I managed to get through it without cumming.
After administering a couple of slaps to my aching cock (in my head I was begging her to slap my balls too but once again I was 'frozen' by my sub-space head-space) she decided enough was enough and we kissed deeply as I hooked my leg over her hip not wanting to let her go. We stayed like that for several minutes, my achingly hard cock throbbing against her stomach... fucking hell it was soooooooooooo good. I felt as high as a kite!
There's an old saying that 'alcohol brings truth out', and I love that far from reverting to her old ways, Mistress R is letting her dominant side out now, and if I hadn't already done so years ago, you can be sure I would be buying her a wine rack for Christmas!
Mistress has already told me she wants some pussy worship today, I can't wait!!!
I woke up about an hour later with a hard-on that could drive in tent pegs, it just felt ready to explode. I had been dreaming about Mistress R treating me really mean and turning me into her cum-slut and I can't even remember what else... what's more I could hear Mistress R in the bathroom brushing her teeth and I lay there silent praying that when she came in she would grant me release, just like she used to in the old days.
Ah yes, I couldn't tell you how many spectacular 2am blowjobs I've had, but of course that's all changed in the last seven months (well, I've still had a few, but without the expected ending!). In fact, initially it was one of the things that worried me about trying for male chastity without a device, because I had this idea that Mistress R would come to bed late, a little drunk, and want to let me cum only to realise what she'd done in the morning... I mean if she wanted me to cum then that's her choice, but, you know what I mean...
However, this hasn't turned out to be the case at all, and indeed wasn't the case last night.
Mistress R came into the bedroom and took off her dressing gown, I wished it wasn't so damned dark as I wanted to feast my eyes on her gorgeous body. She slid under the covers and I put my arm around her to let her know I was awake and immediately her hand went to my cock. Oh my fucking god it felt amazing...
But if I thought Mistress R was going to forget herself and jerk my cock off into her mouth I was very much mistaken. Oh no, if anything she became even more the Mistress of my dreams!
I can't believe I didn't just shoot the moment she touched me, I was so fucking turned on, but somehow I didn't. She must have sensed my condition because after just a few seconds she was asking me if I needed her to stop. It was touch and go if I'm honest, but I couldn't bear to have her stop touching me now, I needed her so much.
I told her it was okay, even though my head was swimming and I felt dizzy with absolute lust for her and the way she'd treated me in my dream. Mistress licked her fingers and teased my cock so wonderfully before squeezing my balls and then giving me some fast strokes that threatened to push me over the edge. I think she might have asked me one more time if she needed me to stop, before she stroked me some more and then dug her nails harder than she ever had before into my nuts. It was fucking amazing, and I still can't believe I managed to get through it without cumming.
After administering a couple of slaps to my aching cock (in my head I was begging her to slap my balls too but once again I was 'frozen' by my sub-space head-space) she decided enough was enough and we kissed deeply as I hooked my leg over her hip not wanting to let her go. We stayed like that for several minutes, my achingly hard cock throbbing against her stomach... fucking hell it was soooooooooooo good. I felt as high as a kite!
There's an old saying that 'alcohol brings truth out', and I love that far from reverting to her old ways, Mistress R is letting her dominant side out now, and if I hadn't already done so years ago, you can be sure I would be buying her a wine rack for Christmas!
Mistress has already told me she wants some pussy worship today, I can't wait!!!
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