Learning to love it...

Another excellent post on Good Hubby's blog today, and something which really resonated with me...

"My chastity fantasy has two parts.  One part is for the control to be hers, no matter her decision. The other part is that, at some point, I be subjected to lengthy denial, that we get to a point where I am truly asking her to allow me to cum, because I don’t want to hold back anymore, and she tells me that she wants me to wait. That if the decision is truly hers, then I cannot have an orgasm..."

This is so on the money, and I so get where he's coming from here. Because it's one thing for someone to deny you when they know that's what you want, it's quite another for them to deny you for their own pleasure. But as Good Hubby explains further it seems that his wife NW is moving towards just that...

"...that wasn’t going to happen as long as the control/denial wasn’t a facet that she was invested in. But here we have her openly stating that she was enjoying it. So, I prodded further. In essence, she has not allowed herself to become invested in the idea. She was afraid that she would really get into it and that the control would become the expected norm, for her, but that I might end it at any time. What then? She would have primed and re-wired herself to have complete control over my orgasms, only to have the rug yanked from beneath her feet.  And, believe it or not, what this really tied back into was masturbation. Her fear that I would, at some point, burn out on this and revert back to old ways. When things were not so intense. And she would find herself left hanging.
She wants the control. She wants to deny me. She has bought into it!"

Which means that GoodHubby is now faced with a somewhat difficult choice, does he freely give over complete control, knowing that his wife is ready to deny him for her own pleasure rather than his own? Or, what... I don't know what the alternative is, as he hasn't really made this clear. Now of course, my initial reaction is of course YES YES YES! Because for me that sounds like perfection. But Mr Good Hubby is by his own admission a colossal wanker* (4 times a day on average, pre-chastity), and he deems a week without coming quite a long time, so it's different for him. And reading his blog I'm not so sure that he's really ready for that kind of control. It'll certainly be interesting to see what happens from here on.

As far as Mistress R goes, I don't think she's got to the stage of denying me solely for her pleasure yet, but I hope that one day she will. Like Good Hubby I would love to get to the stage where I was truly desperate to cum but she still said no, because it pleased her to keep me in denial. Do you know what, just typing that has made my cock so fucking hard...

*Some jokes just never get old.

What is confusing...

Reading back my own posts, what does confuse me a little, is quite why I am happy to give Mistress R control of my orgasms? For her to decide, when and how and even 'if'... surely after nearly four months without even a break, I should be starting to have second thoughts, or feeling the tiniest regret or resentment, shouldn't I?
But I'm not. Not at all. I have never been happier, and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have control of my orgasms back. Oh sure, I fucked up the other night and stroked my cock without permission, but I never for a second thought about actually making myself cum. Well, I mean I thought about it, but I was never, EVER going to do it!
Maybe one day this will change, but right now I very much doubt it. This feels very 'right', which in itself is a strange thing to say I suppose... but that's just the way it is. I love it, and I love my Mistress more than ever, so why would I want to go back to the old way?
Fortunately Mistress is getting more and more comfortable with the situation too, which is fantastic, because let's not forget, it really didn't start well, and she seems to be loving the way things are now too. But then let us not forget, not only has male chastity given her an even more attentive and loving husband than ever before, not only has it given her complete control of our sex lives, but it has also provided a turning point in her husband's long lasting struggle with his weight.
Okay, so the dream of being 'locked' hasn't happened, and probably won't happen now, but you know what, I don't really care anymore.

A change of mindset...

Just been reading GoodHubby's blog (here) where he is talking about the changes in his attitude to sex since he's started being denied. As he says, he no longer expects to be allowed to cum and sex is about his wife's pleasure and about the pleasure of being teased to the edge. I completely agree with what he says, I find that I take more pleasure from being controlled and teased than I did from being free to have sex, masturbate and cum whenever I wanted to, and on top of that when Mistress does allow me to cum, it is beyond anything I experienced pre-chastity. On the subject of improving my appreciation of Mistress R's pleasure, well I can't honestly say there's a massive difference, since I have long been massively pre-occupied with that anyway, but it certainly hasn't hindered it any and I guess the fact that Mistress controls when I am allowed to go down on her means that it's better for her because she's obviously choosing to 'use' my tongue when she is in the mood.
So all in all, despite the seeming contradiction, male chastity improves your sex life, FACT!

A-ha...

A thought just occurred to me, regarding Sunday's Femdom session... now that Mistress R has accepted that I am willing to give up my last remaining safety-net (the guarantee of coming in every monthly session) she has a great opportunity to shake up the formula, since it won't have to end with my orgasm. I think, if anything, removing my guarantee of release will only make our session all the better, and opens up all sorts of possibilities for games or challenges where Mistress R could make me earn my orgasm... or at least the 'chance' of an orgasm, because ultimately she still decides yes or no. It would be so hot for her to make me jump through hoops and 'win' my orgasm only for her to ruin it or simply change her mind...

(Another thing she could do would be to say something like, you have 30 seconds to cum and then she's going to let go. This would mean that I would have to try to get there really quickly, and if it took too long, I'd either miss my chance or risk her letting go just as I started to cum...)

Benefits of male chastity...

Harry Haversackers left a comment on the blog the other day, remarking on how couples out there who are doing male chastity and orgasm control are reaping the benefits in the general wellbeing and harmony of their relationships (or something to that effect). I am reminded of this as I sit here at work today, playing back in my mind over and over again the events of last night and looking forward to seeing my gorgeous wife when I get home tonight.
We've been married nearly twenty years and we've had a generally very good marriage. But since we started the chastity thing, I feel we are closer than ever, and I think it has gone a long way to restoring some of the 'passion' that has inevitably eroded away over the years. We learnt a long time ago the dangers of taking each other for granted, but even so, no long-term relationship is completely imune from the ravages of time.
So when I read blogs where a guy really wants to give control of his orgasms to his wife and she's not having any of it, I just wish there was some simple way that these women could see their potential future, of having a husband who is interested in them all over again, who will happily make them cum every night if they wish, who will worship their bodies, and will love them like they did when they first met (I mean who wouldn't go for that?).
Sadly, I do not have the answer, though I do think that a very positive first step would be if some magazine, say Cosmopolitan or a similar mainstream title could do a serious, positive article about the benefits to women of keeping their men chaste.

Commenting on the comments....

I've had a goodly amount of comments over the past couple of days regarding my naughtiness and last night's epic release, I thought I would answer some of them here.

Miss Christina said...

Well...you certainly are a lucky little submissive right now. What a wonderful way to cum. To let you cum inside her and then feed it to you that way. I love the thoughts of being in her position...it is something I have been very much looking forward to.

I'm sure you'll get there eventually Miss Christina, and yes I did feel extremely lucky to get to do all that!

Harry Haversackers said...

I can certainly understand WOW! What a hot time you two had... I've found that an orgasm after a period of denial can be anything from disappointing to spectacular. Fortunately most are at the spectacular end of the range as you recently experienced.

I know what you mean Harry, sometimes if you really aren't ready to be allowed to cum it can be a little underwhelming, but last night I certainly wasn't mourning the loss of chastity!

The Naked Husband said...

There is just nothing like that first orgasm after a long period of denial.

Indeed, if you embrace it and want it, it's the most amazing feeling...

goodhubby said...

Wonderful! And on so many levels! And, yes, they are so intense. After just 8 days, I cramped from the force of my orgasm.

Thankfully I didn't, I get enough cramp day to day! But yes, it was VERY intense, and the cocksling made it even more so.

k said...

WOW indeed!!! Very hot i must say...i'm sharing this one with Q though i wouldn't be surprised if She has read it already!...i need to find out more about the "cocksling"...will have to do some reading... Oh yes...it's always great to be allowed to lick your own cum from your Wife's hot pussy is it not!

Yes indeed, I love licking my Mistress's cum filled pussy clean, it's super-hot! If you want to know more about the Oxballs Cocksling click on the 'ballstretcher' 'label' at the bottom of the sidebar, this will bring up my review and a picture. It's not cheap (for what is essentially a cockring) but it's worth every last penny!

Q said...

Ooh-la-la!

Ooh-la-la indeed Q. I hate to bring it up again, but when are one of you two going to tell us what happened?

 Miss Christina said...

Oh boy...well first the positive, you did quite well till now. But, I must admit if I was your Mistress I would punish you rather harshly...not because of the slip up with touching, but because of how long you sat there touching and edging. 30 minutes is an awfully long time to not regain control of your senses and stop the disobedience. Just think of all that pleasure that you took from her, without permission.

Not that you should get down about it, or take it to heart too much that you are not perfect, because no one wants a perfect submissive anyways. But I would say a 30 minute long edging session deserves a hefty punishment. It may have taken her weeks to give you that amount of edging, when she was ready for you to have it. But I must admit I find it quite amusing how horny you were and how hard it must have been to actually stop without cumming after all that.

Just remember, it is not supposed to be about your needs. You needed her to control you and your cock and orgasms, and after she accepted it becomes about her needs.But, as I said, do not get all down about yourself, you are not perfect, and she will teach you to keep your hands off I think.

I agree, though I must say I'm quite glad you are not my Mistress!


Miss Christina said...

MMMM...I can't wait till she makes you ruin one and eat it up.

Also she could make you do some cum cubes to enjoy at a later time. Perhaps have a few frozen and then when she is at her friends house for the evening or somewhere like that she could send you a text and tell you that you are to go get a cum cube out of the freezer, and as soon as you put it in your mouth you better start stroking, but if you are not on edge by the time all the cum has melted and been swallowed then you will be punished when she returns, and of course, better not fucking cum :)

Well...I would find that very hot. Just the fact that she can literally use you how she wishes, for her pleasure.

I'm afraid the 'cum cubes' idea got a massive 'WTF' thumbs down from Mistress R... phew!

Needless to say...

...I'm feeling pretty damn chipper this morning, save for the lack of sleep (yet again). Last night was truly a wonderful (and totally unexpected) way to end my latest period of chastity. There I was thinking I was going to get paddled for my naughtiness and I end up having the hardest, longest, most amazing orgasm I can ever remember (not that I'm thinking for a minute that my indescretion will not go unpunished come Sunday).
As several of you comment-leavers have said, there's nothing like an orgasm after an extended period of denial, and if it was solely up to me, I reckon about one orgasm a month is a nice figure. But of course it isn't up to me, and I am still looking forward to being denied longer, maybe an orgasm after two months will be twice as nice?
So where does that leave us, with regard to Sunday's session? The answer of course is that I really don't know. Mistress R has seemingly totally embraced the idea that my orgasms are 100% in her hands and that she doesn't have to take account of the session, or anything else for that matter. The rules are simple, if she wants me to cum, I will cum, if she doesn't, then I won't. If she does want me to cum, then she decides when, how and whether I have to swallow it afterwards. And that's pretty much all there is to it.